Monday, 22 February 2021

Story: Magical Girl Conspiracy

 

Asmodeus clapped his hands and beamed his best charming smile at the focus group, who seemed rather less confident than he that he could make them fans of his product. That defiance, it was quite delicious - though not as much as the moment that defiance broke.

"Step one!" he announced. "We're going to run a little contest during this focus group. We would like you all to, shall we say, dress the part. With costumes that you design personally. Your very own magical girl persona!"

"Fat chance," Dani rolled her eyes. "I'll play along with your dumb focus group, but you're not getting me in some dumb -"

"Whichever of you comes up with the most compelling magical girl will receive a cash prize of ten thousand dollars," Asmodeus finished. As if to assist him, Baphomet held up a doodle of a giant dollar sign in a manner akin to a ring girl at a boxing match.

Hohoho, this was fun to watch. All five of them had been defiant at first. It had seemed like a stupid idea. They would never, ever play along with that, right? Now look at them. Throw in some money and appeal to their base greed, and they'll be suddenly willing to demean themselves. What's the harm, right? Nobody they knew would see the costumes. Nothing to lose, but ten grand to gain.

"I suppose I could play along with that..." Francis mused.

"Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition," Eden added.

"I suppose it would kill a little time..." Beth said.

"An out of context challenge? Sounds right up my ally!" Cari nodded.

Like that, the whole lot of them fell into line. Money truly does make the world turn, doesn't it? Greases palms, oils machinery, gets people to look the other way, or do things that they might not normally do. That last one was usually classified as "a career", incidentally. Such inventively evil beings humans were. He passed out tablets to the whole lot of them.

"Pick out your wardrobe from our selection, and we'll have you in a dressing room before you know it," Asmodeus said. "Design your look, name the magical girl form - don't worry about her civilian name - and we look forward to seeing what you come up with."

Especially since the clothes would have some rather fun suggestibility spells sewn into them. Nothing too powerful - push too hard, too fast, they run the risk of rejecting it outright. Subtle steps forward, one foot at a time. Let their own imaginations adapt the form of their willpower's destructor! He could easily do it himself, but...

Well, frankly it was more fun this way. For him, and for them too.

<hr>

"I can't believe I'm playing along with this..." Dani groused, staring at the clothes on the hangar as if hoping they would burst into flames. This whole thing was a waste of her time. They thought they could make her a fan of one of those brainless shows by getting her to play dress-up? Please. That was kinda sexist for a start, wasn't it? Assuming all women liked dressing up in pretty clothes and prancing about the place? Guh!

She had to admit, the selection of clothes was astonishingly diverse. She'd almost wanted to try picking out something esoteric to test if they actually had it in stock - but then she realised, they probably assumed someone would pull that sort of bullshit and had it fully ready. It seemed impossible they'd have all those clothes ready to go, and even more impossible they'd have it ready by the time she reached the dressing room. Yet there it was. Her selection.

Dani had gone all black, naturally. Leather, too. If she's playing along with this nonsense then you'd better believe she'd be minimising the humiliation factor. It really helped that she was pretty darned certain this was supposed to be for a villain rather than one of the good guys. Your typical television hero didn't normally have, shall we say, such a vampiric motif about their attire.

"Think of the money," she said aloud, quickly dressing into the outfit. To her surprise it was pretty comfortable - and fit her perfectly. Like it had been tailor made for her figure. Looking herself over in the mirror when she was done, she saw exactly what she expected to see looking back at her. A vampire lady. Not some prancing magical girl, but a monster -

<i>"By day, Dani is an aloof goth chick who revels in apathy and disinterest. By night, she prowls the shadows, hunting evil in all its forms. However, despite her courage and conviction to fight in the name of justice, many other heroes believe that she is one of the monsters! An enemy to fight rather than a reliable ally, all because of their own in built prejudices caused by an unfair society! In the end, the monster aren't those who lurk in the shadows, but those who stand in the light sneering at those who must lurk in the shadows to survive..."</i>

The thought washed over her like a movie reel, leaving an uncharacteristically goofy expression on her face. Not that she noticed. That show sounded almost... kinda fun? Nah! It would be lame, couldn't possibly live up to the premise. In fact, a fit of sarcasm was hitting her pretty hard right now. She bet that the hero would have a catchphrase. And a cheesy pose. Maybe something like -

Dani lifted her knee, then shot one arm directly up in the air while the other remained confidently at her hips. "Our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternal darknesses! That's why I, Artificial Shadow, will work tirelessly to fight for those who remain oblivious to the injustice that preys upon them! Don't be afraid of the dark!"

It had been the pique of sarcasm, but damn did it feel good to get out her system. Almost like something was forcing a mean dopamine rush. Dani shook her head and marched out of the dressing room, confident in herself and her ability to win this prize. Oh yeah, they'd not seen anything like this before. Might as well give her the cheque now.

<hr>

A contest was exactly the thing to brighten her day. Eden tapped her lips, pacing around the room with anticipation as she wondered how the others were doing. Had she made the right choice? Who would be her biggest rival? Oh, she could hardly wait!

Now, some might think she'd gone for something really stupidly obvious like a cheerleader or something like that. Yeah, no. Eden wasn't that kind of girl. Besides, it was too easy and cliche, she was going to win - but do so while making it an actual challenge for herself. That's just how she rolls!

Hence her costume, and she had to say it looked pretty great on her. Ready for battle in a practical getup that was easy on the eyes! Snug shorts with a weird colour scheme, replete with matching a shirt and in her hand a really odd tennis racquet with a star shaped head. Combine that with a few strategically placed protective pads for her shoulders and legs - and she was right on the money!

This kinda show obviously wanted some sex appeal for the guys, and a positive message for the girls. Well, here you go! Girls can be highly talented athletes too! The leg padding was intended to promote gap appeal, since it did cover the area around her knees quite well while leaving her thighs exposed. Perfectly calculated, even if the protective gear was kinda... also covered in stars. She couldn't help it really, they wouldn't let her pick an accessory item like this without some kind of theming to it. We're talking moons, suits of cards, all kinds of symbols. A star seemed like the best one, though honestly she'd just kinda picked at random.

Anyway, checking her outfit in the mirror did give her this weird thought. Sort of like -

<i>"Blazing up the courts and underestimated by the boys, Eden strikes fear into the hearts of monsters as the amazing Love Point!"</i>

"Serving up justice wherever I go! Game, set, match!" Eden cheered while twirling her racquet around, punctuating it as if smashing a ball back into the enemy's court. "Phew, that felt weirdly good. Wonder what that was all about?"

<hr>

Beth was starting to wonder if, perhaps, she'd taken the whole 'magical girl' thing a bit too literally. Because right now, she was standing in front of a mirror wearing a quite unflattering robe and false beard while carrying a large leather bound book that she could swear was trying to speak to her.

"I'll swallow your soul!" the book muttered. So she hit it again. She hated hitting the book, but really now it was so obviously a prop that she could hardly take it seriously. They must have hollowed it out and hidden a transmitter of some sort into it. "Okay, fine, how about you swallow my soul? I hear it tastes great with ketchup!"

She ignored the book and took off the fake beard. That was too much. The pointed hat could stay though in this case it might as well have a great big D on it. An old fashioned dunce cap would fit her so much better.

"Why did I give in to the urge to pun?!" she yelled to the heavens. "There's no way something like this would win! Wordplay like this would never be appreciated by those corporate suits!"

But now she was stuck with it, so she'd have to make the best of it. Somehow. This robe covered her entire body, and it wasn't exactly flattering... Maybe if she made some modifications? No, they'd expect her to pay for the clothes if she cut or adjusted anything. She was stuck with this, no! She'd keep her modesty, but lose out on the money! Slamming her hands down, she glared at herself in the mirror cursing her own supposed intelligence for leading her into such a stupid action -

<i>"Beth always had trouble with ordinary people, and preferred to live in a world of books and fantasy. So what would she do when that fantasy encroached upon the real world? She'd protect reality with all her strength, as Fantasy Caster!"</i>

"In order for it to have meaning, fiction must remain fiction!" Beth yelled, and for some reason that made her feel better. Although, she had to say that this pose she was adopting was a little peculiar and overly dramatic for her tastes, she did feel really good about herself for some reason.

Maybe... maybe if she bluffed it, she could still come out on top? No harm in trying.

<hr>

If anything bugged Cari about these kinds of shows, it was the way that the heroes flued their way into victory. No preparation. Minimal real teamwork (despite what the script had them say). Lousy organisation. Above all else, a real disregard for authority, and no respect for the military and their hard, tireless work. She'd picked out her outfit the fastest out of the lot of them, because she already knew exactly what it had to be.

Military themed. Obviously, that meant a smart uniform dress. Rather than camo, she'd gone with a dark sort of purple number. Comfortable, flexible, but seemed to double as a kind of armour. The sort of thing an officer would wear, at least in situations where it was safe to let folk know you were an officer. Don't want to get sniped by the enemy, right?

Needless to say, but she hadn't wasted any time in putting this uniform on. She checked herself in the mirror to make sure it was to regulation  -

<i>"Cari is a hardcore military otaku, who finally had her chance to fight for her country - though not in the way she anticipated! Suited up as General Order, she's bringing the fight as only she can!"</i>

She snapped to a smart salute right away and yelled "For the sake of my country, there is nothing I would not endure!"

Whew, that felt even better than usual, saying that!  She slipped into at ease, and nodded. Maybe this competition wouldn't be so terrible after all?

<hr>

Francis was not fucking around. Writers like her, denied an avenue of work, are going to be a bit desperate for money, so having that dropped in front of her nose was too much to pass up. As such, she'd do the same thing most professional writers would do if asked to take on a job when they were desperate. No matter what, hold your nose and do the work you're hired to do!

It was obvious what they wanted. So she'd give it to them. A stereotype. She'd grabbed the pinkest frilliest shortest and skimpiest dress she could find, pulled on some pantyhose, put on a crown, grabbed a wand with a weird double helix, almost DNA like design and - voila! It was trite, it was obvious, it was about as cliche as you could get, and that all came together to make it absolutely perfect!

That's the key element of a truly talented writer, by the way. Knowing your audience. Playing to what they want, even when they think they want something else. She could see right through them, this was the sort of 'innovation' they were looking for through this little contest of theirs, a new toy to sell, a new franchise to milk. Why, just look at her, she looked absolutely -

<i>"Francis never wanted to be a magical girl, but destiny has something else up its sleeve. In her future is love, friendship, the discovery she's a reincarnated Princess from a long forgotten magical kingdom! Is the world ready for Starlight Victory?"</i>

"You betcha! Love, justice, peace and friendship will always endure! In the name of Victory, you will be smote!"

God, what a cliche line! And this pose! What was she even doing with her fingers here, throwing devil horns in the most awkward way possible? Well, whatever. Francis had this contest in the bag. They wanted to turn her into a magical girl fan? Then she'd take every step as sarcastically as possible before it happened.

  1. Asmodeus has them engage in a touch of roleplay for a little bit.
  2. A staged attack on the station happens.
  3. Or... a real one, by real magical girls who have worked out what's going on
  4. Time to get them watching shows. With subliminal messages, of course.
  5. Something else


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