Story: Sailor Moon Titnosis

Every member of the Inner Senshi had a role to play in their team, a vital function that could not be easily fulfilled by the others. Usagi, the leader. Makoto, the muscle. Rei, the spiritual centre. Minako, the experience. And of course, Ami the intelligence.

What an intelligence it was as well. A genuine chess prodigy with an eidetic memory? You can't get much better than that without cybernetic enhancements. Right now Ami was putting that magnificent brain of hers to work in the best way to make use of it: Data analysis, tactical assessment and long term planning.

The pretty blue haired genius was sitting in her room. As usual, her mother was at work, which was perfectly fine for Ami's purposes. She wanted to focus on this and for a very simple reason: Far too often they'd simply allowed new enemies to show up and run amok without properly investigating what they were up to or developing countermeasures.

"Not this time," she asserted to herself, for no other reason than it was sometimes good to put voice to thoughts. It made them seem more real. "This time, I'll figure out the pattern in advance so we can bring them down more efficiently, perhaps even predict future attacks..."

To this end she had gone deep into her own memory, and pulled out every single monster attack they'd ever had to deal with. Compiled dates, locations, the kind of monster. Put every category she could think of together: Were they draining energy, turning people into monsters, extracting dreams, enslaving people? Anything that might be a useful data point was put in here: The kind of powers they were using, which could be subdivided several distinct ways. Were they prepared for the team's arrival in advance? Was it an ambush, a deliberate trap to draw them out? How had they uncovered the plan in the first place?

Ami's fingers were a flurry across the keyboard, even if she had to stop a moment to take a sip of water her other hand was still flying across the keys, still typing away at a tremendous rate, putting the data into the spreadsheet she'd set up about as fast as she could think of it.

When at last she had completed this task, she saved a file and tried to think of a good name. Something she would remember, but also would not seem suspicious in case her mother was around. After mulling it over for a moment, Ami came up with the perfect name: The Incident Tracker System.

"TITS," Ami smiled. Perfect! Her mother would not think anything strange about that, and certainly leave such a file alone!

That was the easy part. Ami was critically aware of the historian's fallacy, and that any pattern that she might pull out of the data might not hold up. On that basis, she couldn't afford to be lazy. Everything had to be studied with full, due care.

The spreadsheet was put aside for the time being. She'd come back to it later on, once she'd studied the fresh data in a little more detail. Maybe something would leap out at her then? Well, never mind that. For now though..

She pulled up an electronic map of Juuban, and identified the two most recent attacks. The most recent was at the mall, so she put a little X on that spot. The next one was over by the Osaka jewellry store.

Without noticing, the second Ami thought about the jewellry store she sighed a contented sigh, ran her tongue across her lips, squirmed in her seat and then her hands trailed down the sides of her neck before settling in around her chest. Right now Ami was wearing a thick jumper, a thin shirt beneath that and a plain bra chosen purely for functionality. Still, through all that fabric her hand squeezed and rubbed to the best of their ability. It was like a fidgeting move that she was totally unaware of, her hands moving automatically as she stared at the map and furrowed her brow, totally concentrating on the problem at hand.

"Hmm..." Ami tilted her head in concentration. For some reason she felt thoroughly unsatisfied. "Not nearly enough data with just this..." she considered, unaware of the fact that what was making her feel that way was the fact that her hands were simply not able to get a good grope going. Too many layers getting in the way. "The only thing I can think about regarding location would be..."

She pulled her right hand away to grab hold of her mouse, while her left continued squeezing, attempting and failing to tease at her chest. The genius instead focused on what she was doing over her body's own rising needs and drew two circles over the map, with the locations of the attack dead in the centre of both of them and the circles just barely touching one another.

"There..." Ami nodded, and her right hand made to return to what it was doing - but then stopped. It extended its right finger and wagged it a little, as though the hand had a much better idea then changed direction, instead heading for the waistline of the jumper. From there, it reached underneath and then the left hand followed. Moments later Ami had dumped the jumper on the floor. "Whew... Kind of warm in here," she justified to herself while staring at the monitor and the two circles she had drawn.

"Hmmm... It looks like there are several locations within that cleavage..." Ami mused. Cleavage. What a strange word to use. Then again, she supposed that the two circles drawn that way did look like a big pair of tits. Just at the same instant she thought that last word, her hands descended upon her chest once again, and this time there was a much stronger sense of satisfaction coursing through her body. "The school... The radio tower... There's a park in the dead centre of it. Yes, those do all seem likely locations for a youma to attack in the future..."

This was good! And Ami didn't mean the fact that her nipples were clearly showing through the shirt, she was more thinking about the idea they could identify likely future targets like this. Set up something to automatically keep an eye on those kinds of areas, let them know if something funny goes down in advance... Yes, something like that could work wonders!

But that was only part of the issue: If they wound up rushing headlong into a fight unprepared the enemy could easily take them down. So, let's see: These two enemies were 'clothing' and 'gravity' themed. What did those two things have in common?

Ami leaned back in her seat and stared at the ceiling for a full ten minutes, her hands drumming on her melons. About five minutes into this, her hands slowed down seeming to get bored. Her right hand tapped the back of her left, which stopped what it was doing and lifted up slightly into the air. Then her right hand crooked a finger in a 'follow me' gesture.

"Gosh it really is warm in here today," Ami sighed as she also discarded her shirt to the ground, leaving her sat there with only her entirely functional bra covering any part of the upper half of her body. She fanned herself down, and then both hands slipped underneath her bra to get directly to the heart of the matter, fondling her breast flesh directly.

"Bra..." Ami mused aloud. "Bra!" She sat bolt upright. "A bra is an item of clothing that is used to counteract the effects of gravity on a woman's breasts. That's..." She sighed and collapsed back onto her seat, spinning it around while her hands didn't miss a beat, groping and squeezing and rubbing this entire time. "No, that's silly. It couldn't be to do with a bra..." She frowned. "But... that is the only interconnection between clothes, gravity and tits. So, I suppose it must be...?"

The 'and tits' wasn't actually a part of Ami's data... Or at least, it was not supposed to be consciously a part of it. But now <i>for some mysterious reason</i> it was going to be a major factor in all future data analysis on this topic.

"Well, this connection is better than nothing," Ami finally admitted. She reached behind her back, unclasped her bra and then twirled it around her head. Totally oblivious to the fact that she was doing anything wrong. "I should probably get to studying the history of bras, the effect a lovely pair of big bouncy tits have had on cultural development and then see if that can be used to extrapolate anything useful."

Like, for example, what measurements an absolutely perfect pair of tits would have.

<hr>


Humans are dumb. Humans are weak. Quite simply put, the only true strength that this youma had ever seen humans possess was their sheer weight in numbers.

Really now, it was quite ridiculous. They'd gone to all this effort to set up dojos for training in so called 'martial arts’ when they were so weak, pathetic and slow? Across his shoulders, he was carrying a series of dojo signs that he had taken and he had taken them with a smile. Not that they were his true objective, but it was useful in helping him get what he was really after.

"You there!" he heard a voice cry out. Goodie! Lunch! "How dare you try to humiliate us in such a manner? I challenge you, here and now! Return my brother's dojo sign, or face the fury of my fists and feet!"

"Oh, you are a pretentious one aren't you?" the youma sneered wickedly. He dumped the signs to the ground without a care, which made the human even angrier. Good. More competitive. Great! "Alright. I haven't beat someone up inside of ten minutes. Let's see what you can do?"

What he could do was a series of easily avoided punches. A little quicker than most he'd seen, but the dorky human wasn't nearly as fancy as he thought. What he was really looking for was the aggression, his fighting style was making the stupid weak human put more and more energy into just trying to hit him -

And then, he let the human clock him right in the face with a punch that would have knocked over a tree. To a youma like him though? It was like sunlight to a plant. He sucked it all out of him, then just for the sake of appearances, grabbed the guy by the collar and tossed him to the ground.

Easy as pie. Yummier too! He turned around to pick up his signs, such useful things to have as they drew in fighters to him like flies to honey -

"Yo, buddy! These signs yours?"

Ah, but he'd been beaten to the punch by a busty silver haired beauty, who was holding up his signs in a single hand. Intriguing, this girl was strong! Before he could answer, another girl slipped right on in next to her. A pretty light blue-haired female wearing a silver nun outfit which barely covered a set of big... jiggly breasts that seemed to be full of life, vitality, and... Something else.

"Eh? Oh! I thought these might have been wards!" gasped that cute busty nun. She turned around and bowed to him. The motions her chest made were burned into the youma's retina. "I do beg your pardon for my impertinent colleague. She has a bad habit of grabbing other people's belongings and - ah!"

The 'ah' had been caused by the first girl slipping behind the second and, bluntly, molesting her. The youma was, by now, totally paralysed in place. Anyone would be. The way her hands had grabbed hold of those barely concealed mounds, rubbing around the nipples in a gradual concentric motion, causing odd and distracting ripples of motion all across the fabric and the tantalising flesh that lay beneath. The martial artist Youma's eyes totally glazed over after a few seconds of this vision laying before them.

"Ooooh!" the girl whimpered. "K-Koneko, cut that out! Not in public!"

"So yeah in private then?" Koneko teased, in more ways than one. She blew into the other girl's ear. "Yeah, Index! You know you like it!"

"Demon!" Index hissed. "B-Behave yourself! By the Lord's divine light, I shall make you into an ally of justice y-yet! Ooh!"

"No invoking that name!" Koneko said through a wince, which she had passed onto Index by pinching her erect nipple. If the Youma were able to even look at Koneko's face for even a second, he would have noticed a vein pop out on her forehead the same instant Index had said "the Lord". But he wasn't. His attention was entirely focused on the tits being rubbed and teased directly in front of his mesmerized eyes.

That's why he didn't pay any heed as Index tilted her head back, and then she and Koneko entered into a deep, sloppy kiss. What he did see was Index laying her hands over Koneko's, interlocking their fingers and encouraging the molestation. Encouraging it with vim and vigor.

"Okay, okay, break it up!" a busty redhead clapped. She pushed the other two girls over, directing them to a nearby house. "Sorry about them, we were just... Training! Um... forget you saw us and - Hey, wait! You're a martial artist, right? Maybe you could help us train?"

"Ally of justice..." the youma mumbled. "Help you train..."

The dojo signs clattered to the ground and the youma stumbled after them, following them inside. Maybe humans had other strengths than sheer weight of numbers after all?

1. Cinder and her Angels make their move... and attract the Sailor Senshi!
2. Ami continues her breast examination.
3. The as yet unnamed youma helps the trio train up in martial arts.
4. Suddenly, a certain pink haired someone falls from the sky... And has a massive chest!
5. Other Senshi find themselves in titty situations.
6. Something else