Do you know, just a year ago the occupants at the Tendo residence could be considered a rather normal family? A martial artist widower, an eldest daughter who was a serene homemaker, a middle daughter with a mischievous streak and a youngest daughter interested in martial arts. Nothing really strange or notable about that, was there?
And then the weirdos started to roll on in. Here was one now, bounding through the house yelling "sweeto!" at the top of his lungs.
"Get back here, you old freak!" yelled weirdo prime, Ranma Saotome. Now, that's not entirely the poor boy's fault. He didn't mean to get cursed, and he certainly didn't mean to drag along the odd people he'd met, and he certainly wasn't directly responsible for <i>all</i> of the unusual things going on around the Furinkan area. But it really kick into high gear around the time he and his dumbass father showed up. "I don't know how the hell you got me into this thing, but you're getting me out of it!"
Let's back up a little bit. On this particular morning Ranma had just finished his usual morning spar with his father, nothing out of the ordinary there. They'd leaped and struck out at each other with fists and words alike in truly astounding feats of both martial arts and... What's the word I'm looking for?
"Hah! You call that a kick, boy? Last time you hit that hard, you were three weeks old!"
"What was that? All I hear is a drunk lazy panda getting his butt whooped!"
"Brat!"
"Slob!"
Immaturity. Yes, astounding feats of martial arts and immaturity. The two of them leaped into the air and exchanged a flurry of punches and kicks at speeds few humans could admit to having, then bounced off each other and repeated the process, amazing onlookers, delighting spectators -
"Oy! Knock it off out there!" Nabiki yelled, chucking out a small plush toy at the pair from her bedroom window. "It's still way too early in the morning for this nonsense!"
The plush toy struck Genma in the side of the head. Naturally, this didn't hurt him at all, but it did have the unfortunate side effect of knocking his glasses aside. Just the opening Ranma was hoping for. Making use of the temporary blind-spot, Ranma came in with a punch that sent the old man rolling across the garden until he was stopped, upside down, by the fence surrounding the property.
"Heh, silly old man!" Ranma scoffed. He landed in the garden and smugly folded his arms. "Even the slightest distraction can cost you. A real martial artist knows that!"
At which point a bucket of cold water was dumped over his head. This triggered Ranma's curse right away, transforming the normally handsome young man into a knockout young woman almost instantly. The cockiness on boy form Ranma's face had also transformed into a mask of frustration and rage now that he was inexplicably in girl form.
"Those who intend to teach must learn their lessons first!" warned the filthy old man that had dumped that water on Ranma's head: Happosai. A lecherous, tiny and ancient martial artist. Ranma wheeled around to try to punt the old man clear into the air, but to no avail: Happosai simply flowed around the kick, then poked the back of Ranma's other leg about as gently as a passing breeze. It was still enough to make Ranma stumble off balance.
"Woah!" Ranma yelled while struggling to right herself. "Get lost, you filthy old lech!"
"Oh, but Ranma! I have a gift for you!" Happosai cooed. His eyes went big and sparkly, his best attempt at puppy dog eyes. Unfortunately they did tend to have quite the opposite effect. "Don't you want to see it?"
"That's right! I don't want to see it!" Ranma yelled, trying to turn around to face Happosai's position, but it was like trying to pin a fly to the wall. The old man was a bouncing ball of wicked energy, never staying still, always on the move and yet also just barely within reach at any given time. "Cut it out, you damned pest!"
"Ranma! You need to learn to respect your elders and your betters!" Happosai yelled. This time he stayed still long enough for Ranma to attempt a punch - but it was deflected, pushed aside hard enough to make the pigtailed girl whirl around in place like a spinning top. While she tried to right herself again, Happosai grinned lecherously and leaped over the pretty young thing's head with a mysterious box clutched in his perverted little hands. "And this is bound to help! Hotcha!"
The box split open, and there was a big cloud of billowing smoke. Ranma coughed through it, trying her best not to inhale. Who knew what this stuff was or what effect it had? She leaped out and up to get away from it, and only when totally clear did she look around and yell "I'll learn to respect you when you do something worth respe - The hell happened to my clothes?"
The hell indeed? Normally, Ranma's attire tended towards a red Chinese silk shirt and slightly baggy trousers. They weren't a perfect fit for either form, but that was rather the point. They had been selected for a comfortable mid-range, so that no matter what body he or she was currently in, Ranma's clothes would not be hanging off her, nor too tight on him.
This was most decidedly not appropriate for use with his male form.
And what was it? Why, what else but a metallic bunnygirl costume with a cute little pink puffy tail.
"Where's the catch for this blasted thing?" Ranma grunted while contorting herself around to try to reach around to the back. No dice. She tapped the middle of the costume, around the torso, and didn't much care for what she found. "Ah, hell. This girdle - if I turn back into a guy like this..."
"It'll crush your guts!" Happosai cackled. "Better avoid that hot water, m'boy! Hohoho!"
"Hoi! I said pipe down!" Nabiki yelled from the stairs. Then immediately grabbed her camera from wherever she was keeping it, and took a picture of Ranma before scooting off back upstairs. "Never mind! This'll make me a mint!"
All of which leads us back to where we started: To whit, Ranma Saotome in girl form in a metallic bunnygirl costume chasing down Happosai while yelling for him to get this blasted thing off her.
Happosai taunted and teased her while dodging around much as before."Not until you learn some respect! Hoho!"
And just at that moment, Akane Tendo strode back inside the front gate. She clapped eyes on Ranma's unusual attire, quirked an eyebrow.. Then heard a passing cyclist ring their bell.
"Happosai!" Ranma growled, unknowing of the hell that she had just unleashed upon herself.
"Sweeto!" Akane yelled, and all of a sudden everyone froze, then turned to stare at her in shock. "Now that's a prize worth coming home to! Hotcha!"
Akane dove through the air while licking her lips, while Ranma merely stared in surprise, part of her wondering if this was some weird pervy dream she was having. If so, why did it have to be about Akane, and why did it have to be while in girl form? But no, the thought Ranma was having was that it was far more likely this costume was having an effect on other people! So she backed off a little, allowing Akane to land on all fours right in front of her. The tomboy's head whipped up and there was a fearsome hunger in her eyes.
"Hey now Akane. Let's calm down a bit." Ranma backed off with her hands raised, palms out and gesturing for her to, well, calm down. "Listen, I know my girl form is super stacked and cuter than your flat boring body, but I'd bet this costume is all that's making you act this way."
"Kukuku! You're not kidding!" Akane chuckled. It wasn't the same laugh she normally had either. It was much more like Happosai, if anything. "That costume is driving me wild! What a haul!"
This time Akane's diving glomp was a lot more successful. She tackled Ranma to the ground and nuzzled her face in between Ranma's partially exposed chest, and began licking every single inch of exposed skin as she could manage. Which, it turned out, was a rather tremendous amount.
"H-hey! Cut that out!" Ranma demanded. Akane ignored this demand, instead deciding to goose Ranma. "T-Tomboy, snap out of it! You gotta fight this! I know you really want boobs like this, but this ain't the way to go about it!"
Meanwhile, over by the gate, Happosai was sitting with his eyes wide, wide open as far as they could be and smoking on a pipe.
"I have no idea what is going on but I do not care and I will devote every moment of the rest of my life to making sure it continues," the old man said in a single breath. It might have been the most genuine statement that the little troll had ever made in his entire life.
- The pair are interrupted.
- Happosai gets rid of anyone that might prevent this from continuing.
- Another bell rings, and Akane goes back to normal.
- Ranma escapes, but is now worried about the effect this costume may have on others.
- Something else
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