Story: Own Personal Shampoo

Consider the plight of Ryoga Hibiki and you, too, might wind up lost. Cursed into the form of a helpless little pig, while the boy he hated more than anyone else in the world complained about becoming a cute girl. That same boy was arranged into an engagement that he also complained about, when the girl was the divine, angelic, adorable and gorgeous Akane Tendo - who treated his pig form as a pet and left him in constant fear that she might discover the truth at any moment.

And now, just when he thought he could not get any lower, someone had decided to throw him a shovel. The little pig was simmering with rage. Ranma! How dare you take this cute girl and force her to be your slave!

"Master, how Shampoo pronounce this word?" the poor, pretty foreign girl asked, thrusting a book into Ranma's face while leaning into him so that his arm was rubbing in between her breasts, separated from them by nothing more than the material making up her dress. How dare he! Right in front of Akane!

"B-Blows," Ranma nervously answered, like the fiend he was. Masking his beastlike lust behind a guise of nervousness, but he didn't fool Ryoga. Not one bit of it! Not when his eyes revealed the truth so nakedly, so transparently! He had half a mind to rush off to find some hot water, but he dare not leave these two maidens alone with such a devil.

"The hot wind blows through the - Mistress, how Shampoo pronounce <i>this</i> word?"

"V-Valley," Akane nervously replied, like the helpful angel she was. What must the poor girl be thinking at a time like this? Ranma must have deceived her with his silver tongue, tricked her into accepting this new situation. It was clear, she was looking at Shampoo with a mixture of pity and... Something else Ryoga couldn't quite work out but he was certain it was pure and noble and not at all because Akane was fighting down the urge to order Shampoo to bend over the table and stay there until instructed otherwise.

"The hot wind blows through the valley," Shampoo said in passable Japanese, although her Chinese accent was still extremely thick. "Shampoo get that right?"

"Try saying, 'Did I get that right?'" Akane suggested.

"Did... I get that right?" Shampoo slowly said, feeling her way around the words. At Akane and Ranma's nodding encouragement, she said it again a little more certainly. "Did I get that right?"

"By George, I think she's got it!" Akane exclaimed, clapping.

"Huh? Who's George?" Ranma asked. The little piglet rolled its eyes. Of course, Ranma was the sort of guy who wouldn't get that obvious Western reference. Not that Shampoo seemed any more enlightened, but she was having enough trouble with Japanese culture so Ryoga could give her a pass. Not Ranma though. Never Ranma.

"Uh, forget about it. The point is, we're on track to teaching Shampoo how to read Japanese!"

"Yes," Shampoo nodded. "Lady Akane and Master Ranma have been so, so helpful to I. I language has improved too too much!"

For a moment there was silence as Shampoo smiled peacefully. Then Akane coughed. "Then again, we may need to have a few more lessons before she properly grasps it..."

"Yeah," Ranma grunted. "A few more lessons. In your room. With all three of us sitting shoulder to shoulder so that I can practically feel every curve of her body. Her warm skin up against mine. Both your faces in profile. Her thigh up against mine. So close I can feel every breath."

Ooh, that was it! Ryoga couldn't take any more of this! His first inclination was to bite the blasted pervert on the ankle, but that didn't seem quite as fulfilling as he would enjoy. Actually he was a little bit surprised that Akane's response to such a blatantly perverted statement was to stare at the wall in front of her with an unblinking gaze and a somewhat strange smile tugging at her lips, but that didn't matter right now! The only thing that did was that he could plainly see a direct, simple way to exact his revenge on Ranma.

Like the best plans, it was simple. Jump onto the desk while Ranma was distracted by the closeness of his new <i>slave's</i> body, bump a certain glass of water and then -

"Gah! Damned pig!" yelled a certain pigtailed girl, who had magically replaced the pigtailed boy. P-Chan chuckled as dawning realisation set in over that cute face. That's right, Ranma. Shampoo had promised to kill your girl form, and now she'd seen you transform right before her very eyes! No escape. No more being called Master by a pretty foreign girl right in front of Akane!

Shampoo rose slowly from her chair while girl form Ranma stumbled backwards away from her.

"I - I can explain!" Ranma protested. She tried rising to her feet, so this time Ryoga did bite her ankles. "Damn stupid pig!"

"P-chan, stop that!" Akane protested. "Wait, Shampoo! Let's not be drastic, we should talk this -"

But there was to be no talking. Shampoo simply grabbed Ranma by the collar, pushed her back against the ground, straddled her waist... And then tongue kissed her so deeply it was a wonder neither of them passed by Ryoga's sudden mood. Ever see a pig's jaw drop? No? Then how about seeing a pig get a pervy nosebleed?

Ranma's shock had given way to something else. Her hand reached behind Shampoo's back, carefully stroking the small of her spine, then tracing up and down her body, delighting in her curves while Shampoo's own hands were on either side of Ranma's head. Keeping it still and steady as though determined to suck the breath from his lungs.

"Buh..." Akane gasped. "Buh?" she asked. "Buh buh buh, buh? Buh!" she whined jealously.

There was a loud plop when Shampoo finally got off Ranma's face. When it happened Ryoga thought the sound had been his heart bursting; fallen onto his side, he went completely unnoticed by anyone else in the room.

"There," Shampoo said. "I remove kiss of death from Master Ranma. Not realise was pigtailed girl, or submit to slavery sooner. Sorry if cause misunderstanding."

"That's okay!" Ranma squeaked, staring intensely at the ceiling. "Ahem! I thought it might be something like that! Shall we get back to studying now, please?"

"Buh!" Akane nodded with great enthusiasm and a lick of her lips. Not that Ryoga saw or heard this, he was too busy wallowing in self pity, jealousy and hatred to pay especially close attention.

1. If Ryoga thought that was bad...
2. Meanwhile, Kuno plots and schemes.
3. Nabiki is up to something. What is it?
4. Skip to the next morning.
5. Much later, Cologne shows up to check on Shampoo's progress.
6. Something else