Story: Ero Space

Considering the options available to him, and the last piece of dialogue Ruby had used, it seemed to Kyon that investigating the room would be ill advised. The dialogue options hardly seemed promising either. Equally terrible, come to it. A blatant confession out of nowhere when she obviously didn't like him? Claiming to be a monster without the ability to back it up? A semi-sarcastic comment on the room decorations? This girl was supposed to be easy to seduce? In what universe did that make sense?

Oh yes. A universe created by Haruhi's imagination.

If this were an ordinary game and he were playing with lower stakes, Kyon may well have simply tried out the various options to see what happened and work out what he was meant to do based on that. Yet this early in the game he could hardly take that sort of risk. Information! He needed more information, and there was only one safe way to do it. Find the other members of the "flower arrangement" club and pump them for information! Yes, this seemed a sensible start. So Kyon selected that option and then felt the surreal two-dimensional scene transition...

...

Why was the screen still black? Had he done something wrong? No. He could hear the sound of footsteps shuffling beneath him. That must be his own. So he was leaving the room. Then why was -

"Kyaaaaa!"

Strange, but he could feel something in his hand. This was definitely something soft and warm in his hand right now. The darkness of the screen faded, and when it did Kyon felt a distinct terror gripping his soul. He recognised this girl as well! She was from the same universe as Ruby, an orange-haired girl with twin, busy ponytails (huge bonus!) tied with big red bows and a look that could kill. From this perspective Kyon couldn't quite see her uniform or body very clearly, but from the angle his arm appeared to be at it seemed as though he was quite probably feeling her chest.

"Cute girl that doesn't like you (honest!), Kokoa: Pervert!" the text proclaimed. The image in front of him didn't budge at all. The options then appeared:

"Apologise, get up."
"Help her to her feet."
"Squeeze."
"Nibble."

That last option was of deep concern. Especially since she might be the one to take the nibble! Actually, considering her likely reaction to either of the last two that might be the one thing Kyon was least scared of at this very moment in time.

Knowing her personality type she'd probably resent it if he didn't apologise... so the first option it was. Kyon waited. The screen didn't change. He could still definitely feel a certain something in his hand.

"Not a tsundere, Kokoa: Maybe next time you should watch where you are going before you collide with your betters! So? Are you just going to stand in that doorway, or do I have to move you?"

Stand in the doorway? But if this shot was still in place then surely they were still on the floor? Unless the game had a glitch in it... Or if Haruhi had designed it this way to make a bizarre statement on the nature of game interfaces. This was not the sort of thing he would put past her.

More options:

"Introduce self."
"Tell me about yourself."
"Tell me about Ruby."
"Tell me about the club."

On a quick check to his character menu... Ruby was out of his league by miles. Even talking to her right now was a potential risk. In the strictest sense he didn't need to seduce her for any given playthrough so long as he was able to seduce Haruhi in the end... Bah, listen to him reasoning through strategy as though this were normal! It was not! For the time being his target was Ruby, so that was where he'd start.

"Not jealous, Kokoa: Oh, you were here to check out the new girl? I don't know much about her, and even if I did why should I tell you anything?"

Contrast that statement with the image showing in front of him and the sensation in his right hand just now! It creates an oddly dark picture! The best course of action for him to take would be to disengage this conversation and find someone else to talk to -

Or his finger could slip and press the magnifying glass option instead. Resulting in a much better look at the girl he was talking to. From an aesthetic standpoint? Cute. You wouldn't expect her to be able to kick a person's ribs in with half her strength with a small, slender body like that.

Never mind that for the time being. To her perspective it might seem as though he was leering at her, and that was absolutely the wrong impression to give. The only thing Kyon could think of doing right now was closing the search function and getting -

"You hear a faint rumbling sound. It seems to be her tummy."

She was hungry? He was talking to a hungry vampire in a corner of the school where monsters seemed to live, right next to a clubroom that seemed to have been stolen from the set of <i>The Addams Family</i>. Leaving had a much higher priority than it had before! How do you close this mode? No, stop that! I didn't mean to examine the flower she'd dropped on the floor above her head -

"You pick up the rose. Ah! You've pricked your finger!"

... Crap. It might be perhaps a crude way to express his feelings at the moment, but this was like cutting your leg while swimming in shark-infested waters. Begging for trouble, and likely to get it very soon!

"Hungry tsundere vampire, Kokoa: Oh, you idiot! Let me see that!"

Noooo! He didn't want to have his blood sucked! This stupid interface was causing him nothing but grief and - And the screen had changed. Now they were both standing upright in the corridor, and the periphery of his vision had an odd outline around it, sort of pink and blurry. Kokoa had his finger in her mouth, and her eyes were... Fluttering up. One hand kept his finger in her mouth, while the other tugged on her collar, allowing a bit of cool air to rub against her neck. And also exposing quite a great deal of her healthy, gleaming flesh, almost (but not quite) to the point where he might even be able to see the top of her breasts.

"Horny tsundere vampire, Kokoa: Mmm... Your blood tastes so good..."

"Congratulations! You've seduced Kokoa Shuzen, Level 8 Vampire Tsundere!"

Hold on, wasn't he supposed to have sex with these girls to add them to his harem?

"For a vampire, sucking blood is basically the same as sex!"

But... But that... That's how they <i>feed</i>! For any species to have the same feeding and mating mechanism was kind of... Wow, his finger was feeling really, really good just now.

"Abilities gained:     Yoki Detection, level 7
            Charm, level 1
            Enhanced Strength, level 7
Equipment gained:    Transforming Bat!"

Well, that did sound rather useful in theory. But given that he had his first, ah, conquest, the question did naturally arise. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

1. Find a way to practise his new "skills"
2. Continue pursuit of Ruby.
3. Set sight on a new target.
4. Actually, an event flag has triggered that he must clear first.
5. Something else