Sunday, 11 May 2014

Story: St Doria's

Before I get to last week's winners, I also did this.


Elsewhere, a certain walking disaster zone sneezed. Not because her name was mentioned or anything absurd like that. A feather just so happened to flutter by her nose, causing the mysterious Ms Cavendish to close her eyes and sneeze, bending over quite suddenly and in the process accidentally hip bumping John so hard that she fell on her ass. Frank stifled a laugh, rather enjoying the sight of the arrogant twerp getting a bit of a kicking.

“Oh, gosh, terribly sorry,” Ms Cavendish said, gently dabbing her hand with a handkerchief. “Here, let me help you up. Goodness, Mister Hawes, whatever are you doing?”

“Yes,” Oliver said looking Frank right in the eye completely deadpan. “What exactly <i>are</i> you doing?”

“What indeed?” Frank growled, removing her hands from Alec’s ears. Bad enough these three other girls disguised as boys were aware of Alec’s secret. But a teacher?! Sure, given her recently acquired taste in the fairer sex Frank - rather, Frances - could see she hit all the right marks for typical beauty, but it did not change or alter or obfuscate the fact that she. Was. A. Faculty. Member. Frank’s fast reactions had just saved them so much grief it wasn’t even funny. Though if it wasn’t funny, why the hell was John smirking over there like an idiot with a new toy?

“In any event, if I may be permitted to return to the crux of the matter?” Oliver requested with a little flick of her hair. “The five of us wish to create a sort of Enigma Club, which has the purpose of investigating mysteries and supposedly paranormal events. When not engaged in such activities, we shall be engaged in a mutually beneficial arrangement with the theatre club.”

“I think I understand,” Ms Cavendish nodded. “You help them, they help you - Goodness, Frank, is this really an appropriate time for that kind of horseplay?”

“Yeah, Frank,” John said, twirling her thumbs and staring up at the sky like little mister innocent, which she most certainly wasn’t by any stretch of the imagination. “Is this really the best time to show Alec there how to do a headlock? Seems a little rude to do in the middle of a conversation, if you ask me.”

“Oh, you know me!” Frank said, shooting daggers at the bitch with her eyes. “Can’t resist a chance to show off a good hold! But Alec doesn’t mind, do you, Alec?”

“Uh… Yeah, I guess?” Alec said, rubbing her ears. It was adorable. Then again, Frank found the way Alec opened the door this morning adorable, so maybe she wasn’t exactly the best candidate for determining such factors. At least when Alec was involved. “Um… Did you have any other questions about our club at all, Ms Cavendish?”

“Not even remotely!” the teacher enthusiastically replied, quickly adapting an intense and dramatic pose with one leg thrust forward while her fists waved at the air above. “Investigating the mysteries of the universe, breaking through the myths and fables to find the truth! Exposing the supposedly supernatural to the light of day! This is a noble endeavour indeed, for mysteries must exist to be solved!”

“… Do you even think she realises she’s resting her foot on Jamie’s head?” Alec whispered. Oliver and Frank shook their heads while John politely tried to pull the teacher away. Not entirely easy to do with someone lost in their own world. Had they really made the right decision here?

“And, of course, you would be able to use this club to help those in need! Really now, Frank, we need to discuss your sense of personal space!”

“Sorry, Ms Cavendish,” Frank said, twitching just a little while letting Alec go. Honestly, now! Stop saying the damn trigger word already! You trouble-making teacher!

“Well, don’t worry about it for now,” Ms Cavendish said. “I have your names already committed to my perfect memory, therefore I can fill in the forms for you. Though come to think… Don’t you still need to find a sports club to join?”

“Yes, that’s right,” Alec said. “Though… I’m not entirely sure which club I’d like to join. Does anyone have any suggestions? I’m at a complete loss.”

At which time four separate voices chimed in all at once. “Judo, parkour, cricket, dance.” At this very moment in time, the other four members of the club stared harshly at one another.

“It’s only natural,” Oliver said first. “The dance club would greatly assist Alec’s footwork and coordination. It would gel rather splendidly with the theatrical club without proving too exhausting or injury prone.”

Jamie shrugged and spoke up next. “… While I don’t much care for sport, Alec seems like the sort that would do really well playing cricket. It’s a really stat-based game as much as anything else, makes it the perfect chance to learn a couple things about maths and physics while playing…”

“Feh, such impractical games when applied to real life,” John laughed. “One talent you’re always going to need is knowing how to run properly. Everyone needs to run at some point, right? No need for silly arbitrary rules, just make it clear to the finish. Besides, in parkour you’d really get to show off how inventive you are. Get it?”

“Sounds like a fad to me,” Frank said firmly. “What would be even better would be something that’s survived just a little longer and has a bit more discipline. Bit of self defense can really help out a person’s confidence and help keep ’em safe. Right?”

The four of them stood in a circle with auras of peculiar focus and concentration, and each of them knew the same thought was passing through their heads: Each of them wanted to see Alec taking part in their sport of choice! Above all else, seeing her in a gi or an oversized cricket outfit or watching her dance or try to run around an obstacle course… Yes, each of these was something that, they had to admit, would be worth beholding! And this was even before the opportunity to spend more time with her came into play! After that, the stakes were multiplied by a factor of fifty. Go all in or go bust. Winner take all. Which would she choose? Which would she -

“You know,” Ms Cavendish interrupted the staredown, completely oblivious, “I think the tennis club was looking for new recruits…”

The image each had in their minds was rudely shoved aside and replaced with Alec in tight shorts, a sleeveless shirt and nervously holding a tennis racquet. This new image ruthlessly and mercilessly bludgeoned their other thought right out of their heads, and suddenly the former rivals were united in purpose: To behold this sight within reality!

<hr>
Most people pace around or fidget when eagerly waiting for someone to arrive. Not so this particular young man, who was rather eager to get this over with. Instead of fidgeting or pacing, Mark was limbering up in the middle of a gym mat, a practical use of his time and energy. He could hardly believe the fortune he was having today. The St Doria’s gymnastics club had historically never had any difficulty in finding new membership.

Mark sneered towards the main entrance, where he knew the arrogant jerk president of the swimming club was waiting for his turn. Pretty smart idea from Simon, he had to say: Give both clubs the chance to prove they were worth his time. How? Why, with a simple demonstration from them both. How else?

All it would take is a little bit of persuasion. Simon seemed pretty interested in the idea of joining the gymnastics club, and it wouldn’t take long before a full and proper demonstration persuaded him of the merits of joining. The swim club? Hardly an ideal sport to join up with at all, now was it? When the weather turns cold the last thing you want is to be spending after hours in a pool, because no matter how well heated it was you’d still be wet when you left and then - Oh, yes, then you’d really feel the chill! Never mind the inherently unhygienic nature of it. All that chlorine couldn’t possibly be good for you. No such trouble for the gymnastics club!

“Terribly sorry for keeping you waiting,” said a breathy voice by the locker room door. Mark opened his mouth to tell Simon that he didn’t mind waiting but all of a sudden his normally erudite vocabulary ran for the hills and waved a white flag. He had expected a slender boy and received a rather busty girl in a tight-fitting leotard meant for a boy of similar size. Mark didn’t know which god he should be thanking right now, and still didn’t have an answer when Simone strutted across the room with a knowing smile on her face. “I had a devil of a time fitting myself into this costume. Oh dear, oh dear. You shall find it difficult to persuade me to join your gymnastics club if all you do is stare in that manner.”

Mark blinked. Join the gymnastics club? Was she insane? It would surely uncover her ruse in seconds, and in that very moment she’d be kicked out of the school! Very probably drag him along with her if he didn’t handle this with the utmost -

Simone began to limber up. Well. Maybe Mark didn’t have to turn her in right away. He might as well enjoy the show a little before doing anything drastic, like fetching a faculty member and telling them her little secret…

“Stage one check,” Simone whispered.

“I’m sorry?” Mark asked. “Did you say something?”

“Nothing too important,” Simone replied. She adopted a rather naughty twinkle in her eye and leaned forward to draw attention towards her breasts. As though any special effort was needed in the first place. “I was just thinking out loud. Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head over.”


  1. Simone continues seducing Mark until he’s wrapped around her finger, then moves on to the swim club president.
  2. Simone’s seduction is being watched by a certain ninja, who takes copious notes.
  3. Simone somehow notices Hisoka, and takes the opportunity to seduce her as well. Or, she tries…
  4. Hisoka runs into other cast members. Hilarity ensues.
  5. Alec tries to join the tennis club. With Miss Cavendish’s help.
  6. Someone else

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