Story: Shampoo and Conditioning

Shampoo might seem cute and bubbly and psychopathically violent, but she had quite a few hobbies. Martial arts? Yes. Stomping Mousse? Very yes! But she also liked cooking. There was something about it that made her feel at peace. Serene. As Great Grandmother always told her it was vital to have a point of serenity in your life, a way to cool off your mind body and soul. For Shampoo that was cooking, and she was honestly pretty good at it.

Almost as good at it as she was at this whole seduction thing. Now, she'd not really had to do it before. Not exactly. The boys tended to throw themselves at her. Then Mousse would beat them up, thus proving none of them were worth her time (including Mousse). Even so she had learned a thing or two about how to use her body to get what she wanted. Joketsuzoku techniques were used for more than just fighting, after all. A woman’s beauty was one of her greatest tools within the greater world of (often stupid) men as well. And, while cutting up this fish, Shampoo looked over her shoulder at the yummy dish she wanted. Sitting on the floor behind her. Staring at her legs rather obviously while trying hard not to actually be obvious about it.

It was working. It was clearly working. Shampoo smoothed her hand down the shirt she was wearing. One of Ranma's shirts, incidentally. Nice red silk. She'd heard that red was a colour for passion. Play her cards right and passion truly could be on the cards tonight, that's for sure!

With her spare hand Shampoo gripped the bottom of the shirt and flipped it up, revealing to the boy that she wasn't wearing a stitch of cloth underneath. His breath hitched, the shirt dropped, his breathing slowly returned to something approximating normal and his fascination with her legs grew another inch.

Shampoo had realized by this point that Ranma found showing affection and sexual attraction to people he liked embarrassing. His reactions to his former fiancee/future pet made this very clear. So the fact that he was now trying <b>not</b> to look at her told her that she had him hooked, at least partly.

"Shampoo going to put aphrodisiac in food," she suddenly said. "Make airen too too horny. Ravage Shampoo right then and there. Looking forward to meal?"

"Yeah, it smells great!" Ranma said. Shampoo giggled. She wasn't actually going to do that. Well, the village certainly had plenty of stuff capable of getting a man ready but she hadn't brought any of that stuff with her. Why should she? Shampoo had been on a killing mission when she had left. Heck the only reason she had even brought along the Formula 911 was just to deal with any witnesses. She was sure her teachers would praise her creativity though.

"Airen seem fond of Shampoo sweet, sweet ass," Shampoo said, spanking herself. "Is okay to stare." Wiggle wiggle. "No can keep eyes off. Too too nice butt. Yes?"

"... Huh? Did you say something?" Ranma asked almost directly to Shampoo's posterior. Now, she was of the mind that her boobs were her best feature but who was she to criticise his tastes?

Oooh, but this was having the unexpected side effect of making her horny. That was another thing she'd enjoyed quite a bit about tonight, going further than usual in conditioning Ranma to find her sexually appealing. Sucking him off, bathing with him, stroking him to get him hard, flaunting her body, giving him a titjob... She'd done just about everything except the really fun stuff.

"Shampoo going to have sex with airen tonight," Shampoo announced. "His body do, that fine for Shampoo." Shampoo could tell that tonight was going to be the time when the deal with sealed. Everybody had been sent elsewhere, and Ranma was now enraptured with her. Sure, there’d be more work getting Akane ready and convincing him to head to China, but this was “Step 1 Complete” without a doubt.

"Dinner ready!" Shampoo chirped, jumping up and spinning around in place. Coincidentally flipping up the bottom of the shirt through that motion. "Eat up, get energy back. Then Shampoo push you down and fuck you so hard it make you too too eager to be Shampoo's airen!"

Alright then. She set the food down in front of him and thought about her gameplan. She could plainly see the erection in his trousers. Perhaps start with a friendly kiss? Rub his shoulders while he eats? Whisper in his ears about how turned on he is, and how unhealthy it is to be so backed up? Maybe invent another village tradition?

Shampoo started with a classic. She split Ranma's chopsticks for him, picked up a piece of fish and popped it in her own mouth. Then leaned in to 'baby-bird' feed him, allowing him the privilege of tasting her food and her at the same time.

Until she had an experience common to those of her age bracket within Furinkan. It can be summarised by 'everything was going perfectly for me. Then Tatewaki Kuno showed up.' Ranma, Akane, Nabiki, Yuka, Sayuri, most teachers, and at least three janitors could all attest to the reliability of this pair of sentences.

"Have at thee, fiend! I have come here to save you!"

"You got a funny way of showing it!" Ranma yelled while backflipping out of the way of the crushing sword strike Kuno was delivering right where Ranma was sitting. "Who the hell helps someone by bashing their brains in?!"

"Ranma not met Uncle Yao Sung," Shampoo said. Though internally she was rather furious at this interrupting stick boy. Right at the good part! She had half a mind to rush in and kick him to the horizon...

“I’ll save Akane from you, you… err.. Deviant!” And <i>who was this bandanna wearing freak!?</i>

Suddenly Shampoo was having to dodge an umbrella being used like a giant club. This was not on her list of things to do today. This was not, she suspected, on anyone's list of things to do today! She glanced to the side where Ranma was backflipping away from that other idiot's wooden sword, which was cutting so hard through the air it was leaving rather obvious trails of air pressure.

Still. Watching her beloved toying with him like that was making her even more wet for him. Too bad that she was stuck with the one who actually seemed to be halfway decent in a fight.

"I know what you're up to," the fanged idiot said, lunging for her again with his umbrella. "I'm here to tell you that you won't get away with it. We're going to stop you cold!"

Wait what did he think she was doing? “What stupid boys thing Shampoo doing?” Had she somehow been found out?

"Oh no, you're not getting those mind games off on us!" the boy said.

"Well said, Hibiki!" the stick boy yelled back right before Ranma bounced off his head sending him sprawling into the dirt. "I fight on! For the sake of fair Akane!"

Fair Akane? More like slutty pet Akane. That cute little future sex doll <b>belonged</b> to Shampoo and she was only slightly less pissed at these idiots for trying to steal her than swiping her Airen. Still, as tempting as it was to tell these idiots off they might be recording something, or something along those lines. Best to just deny it all.

Ah! Wait a minute... Wait! Now she saw what they were up to! The stick and umbrella were deliberately fighting in such a way that it would draw the two of them apart! Trying to separate Shampoo and her airen! How sneaky, how devious, how fiendishly clever!

"Fiend! Corruptor! Once I defeat you, then fair Akane shall date me instead!"

"If you think I'd allow Akane to date you, you've got another thing coming!" Ranma yelled. Heh! Shampoo could hear that in his tone. Possessiveness. Not of the usual sort either. That wasn't the tone someone used when talking about protecting their girlfriend or wife. It was... rather a different tone being used there. Shampoo had used that tone a lot when other girls had tried to swipe her toys when she was little.

Which made it all the more imperative that she get rid of these idiots and get her nookie! By which she meant... Oh, stuff pretense at this point, she wanted her airen's cock inside of her!

"Will you stand still for one moment?!" umbrella boy yelled. So she did. "Aha! Got you!" he yelled again. Gosh, how was his voice not completely wrecked if this was how he spoke all the time? He lunged forward with the tip of the umbrella aimed squarely at Shampoo's head - and at the last possible moment Shampoo bounded aside and smacked him on the back of the head.

"Bwah?" he grunted while flying into the kitchen.

"Shampoo stay still for one moment," she said. "Not long enough, umbrella boy too too slow."

Unseen by Shampoo that umbrella boy rolled along the kitchen floor until he struck a cabinet, resulting in a glass of water upending and dumping its cold contents onto his head. Cue one confused black piglet.

"Kuno, you gonna give this up or not?" Ranma asked. "Teaming up with Ryoga was a pretty good idea, but it looks like you underestimated us this time."

Hah! Of course he didn't need her help to eliminate a threat like this stick boy! The difference in skill was obvious. Why, Ranma had already taken his stick away and left him lying on his back, kicking away while Ranma stalked towards him menacingly. Ah, actually not menacingly. More like he was about to take out some garbage. A menial chore he'd rather not have to do, but in the long term it was better than the alternative. The sight of him displaying such casual power made Shampoo want his hard cock inside her even more.

"No, fiend. The power of love compels me towards victory!" Kuno seethed. Suddenly, he stood up and pulled on a wire that until now, Shampoo hadn't noticed. And then, all of a sudden -

"Kitty!" Shampoo squealed. Oh! She loved cats! They were her one and only true weakness. Oh, look at how cute they were! Aw! That one was clinging to airen's leg and looking up at him with its big bright eyes! And that one was sitting on his shoulder lickign at his cheek! Gosh, airen had gone completely still from surprise. He must not want to step on the cute little babies. How thoughtful! "Who is kitty? You is kitty? Yes you is! You is too too cute kitties!" Shampoo cooed.

"C-ca-ca-ca-caaaaat!"

That was not a cute kitty. That was a panicking airen.

"Cat!" he said, pointing accusingly at a cat. "Cat!" another point, another cat. "Cat! Cat! Cat!" three more points, three more kitties being cute.

“This is the strangest allergic reaction the Blue Thunder has ever seen.”

Allergic reaction? Shampoo’s father was allergic to peanuts and he didn’t scream “Peanut” whenever he saw one! That was weird. Really weird! Then again... airen did turn into a too too cute girl when splashed... And she had been using a memory erasing herbal shampoo technique to brainwash him into loving her and his fiance into becoming his and her’s submissive fucktoy. So who’s to say what made sense in the world?

"Caaaaaaaaaaaaat!"

No, no, this behaviour as still miles stranger. Taking a deep breath, Shampoo rushed in and performed a running punt on the stickboy over the wall while he was still surprised by the sight of Ranma Saotome running around with cats clinging to him. Arms flailing, eyes bugging out. It wasn't nearly him at his coolest, that much was for certain.

"Airen! Pests gone!" Shampoo called.

"No, they're still here! And here! And here, and here and here here here!" Ranma yelled back.

Shampoo sighed. Oh dear oh dear. Whatever was she to do with him? Easy answer: She popped her top, grabbed the back of his head and pulled him right into the very depths of marshmallow heaven.

“Is this some ancient chinese remedy for allergieeeeeeesssssss?” Kuno said as he flew away. God what a moron.

"Airen calm down," Shampoo said, stroking the back of his head with one hand while gently picking cats off of him like a gorilla picking fleas off its friend. "We have too too fun sexy time. Think of Shampoo sexy body." She took hold of his hands and trailed them along her figure.

“Sexy body….?” Ranma murmured, “Shampoo’s… hot body… cat… Shampoo.. cat…”

To put the exclamation point on it, Shampoo lifted his chin and kissed him as deeply as it was possible to kiss him. The cats rolled around on the ground at their feet, so Shampoo picked him up and took him inside the house. He didn't resist. He was, in fact, curiously rigid. Almost felt lighter than he should.

"Now where were we?" Shampoo asked. A rhetorical question, of course. But there you go! She flipped back her hair and stretched out. "Oh yes, that right. Shampoo and airen fuck like rabbits, yes?"

Ranma’s eyes were glazed over. Right this was probably “perverted.” She needed to get Ranma to make the first first move. “Shampoo… fuck… cat.”

Wait what?

Suddenly, his eyes still locked on Shampoo’s chest, Ranma’s pupils became pinpricks and he screamed <b>“Caaaattt!”</b>

What.

Ranma spun on his heels and ran away at full pelt.

What?

"Cat! Cat! Cat! Cat!" he yelled loud as loud could be.

"What? What in fuck?!" Shampoo yelled after him. Perhaps a poor choice of words because as much as her own motor was now going, it was rather apparent that she was not going to be getting any fuck tonight!

Until this point in her life the one and only time she'd ever felt truly homicidal rage was the time she was beaten in front of her whole village by an upstart pigtailed outsider girl. That was now a distant second compared to the frustration and raw apocalyptic fury she felt at this very moment. It might well be for the best for both Ryoga Hibiki and Tatewaki Kuno that neither one of them were in line of sight of Shampoo right then, for she might well have torn them to bloody pieces with her bare hands.

1. And that's when Akane comes home.
2. Akane comes home... with her friends in tow.
3. Alternatively, this is when Kasumi comes home.
4. Nabiki instead?
5. Shampoo has a few hours with Ranma still
6. Something else