The path to Dr. Ono Tofu’s clinic always had someone watching it. This was not because it was particularly dangerous, nor in a rough part of town. No, the people watching the path were on the lookout for one person. A pleasant, happy, and above all beautiful young woman named Kasumi Tendo. She was the most dangerous person to approach this clinic. The patients of Dr. Tofu needed to be warned if she was approaching, lest she reach the clinic and ruin fall upon them all.
"Red alert, we have a red alert status," old Mister Kenshiro the retired friendly butcher yelled to his wife downstairs. "This is not a drill! Send up the flag!"
"How much time do we have?" his wife cried out in desperation. "What's she bringing with her? A plate of cookies, some borrowed books?"
"... Oh dear gods above, this can't be happening..." Mister Kenshiro gasped, his tone as though he had uncovered the long buried resting place of the Necronomicon itself. Or worse. A collection of pogs. "She's... not bringing anything."
"Eh? Not bringing anything?" his wife called out while raising the flag. "Oh, the poor thing must be feeling poorly. That might not be so -"
"She's got the same gleam in her eye you had that night at the lobster bar in Paris on our second year anniversary!"
There was a sudden chill, and yet Mrs. Kenshiro refused to give into panic, not yet. “W-what is she wearing!?”
“A skirt…”
“One of her usual dresses?!”
“No. It’s… it’s short and green, and she has pantyhose on! And and a hawaiian patterned blouse at least a size too small!” Mr. Kenshiro, like much of the elderly in the neighborhood, saw Kasumi as a granddaughter. So seeing her discard her usual modest dresses for more form fitting clothing told him all he needed to know.
Ever tasted panic in the air? Everyone on that street suddenly stopped and looked up with fear, like a roving pack of dogs who heard a dog whistle. They knew this day would come. The day they had all dreaded for years. Sweet and innocent Kasumi Tendo was out to get laid.
Gods preserve them. By the time the good Doctor calmed down from this there might not be a living soul left within Furinkan. All around who caught sight of the skull and crossbones fluttering in the wind above with sufficient warning, they were the lucky ones. They had enough foresight and warning to run as fast as their legs would carry them.
As for the rest? The living would envy the dead. Not because anyone had died because of this, it was more a general sense of 'you lucky bastards'.
<hr>
Ah, what a beautiful day it was outside. Days like this were Ono Tofu's favourite sort .The weather was clear. Oh! And old Mister Kenshiro was flying the skull and crossbones today out over his roof! How festive, perhaps he was intending to throw a pirate themed party? What a friendly and fun neighborhood he lived in. It made him feel genuinely proud at the opportunity to help them out the way he did when they were at their worst.
"Doctor Tofu, your three o'clock has cancelled," his secretary said.
"Really? Another cancellation?" he mused. Hrm. Must be something in the air. "Well, I suppose that's fine. It is too nice a day to be sick, isn't it? Why look out there at Mister Kenshiro's pirate flag!"
He turned around. His secretary had vanished. In her place was a cloud of dust, the sound of sprinting feet and a signpost that read 'family emergency'.
"Oh dear, that must have come on quickly," the good doctor mused. Well, today was turning out pretty quiet anyway. "Well, might as well find things to keep myself occupied..."
"Good afternoon, Doctor Tofu!"
Some of the most dangerous things in life are merely combinations of ordinary, mundane things. Maybe even things that could be desirable by themselves. What we see right here is, in fact, a combination that is a truly devastating one. Not that either of them intended it to be so, it was simply an inevitable fact of life. Like gravity or the sun rising in the morning, or that overweight ghost at the old girl's academy moaning about her oversized bloomers never getting stolen. You know, things that happen every day without fail.
In much that same vein there was a dagger dangling over the heads of everyone within Furinkan. On meeting them individually, one would often hear newcomers to the area make mention 'gosh, that Kasumi Tendo and Ono Tofu would sure make a cute couple.' Indeed they would. In much the same way that bleach and detergent would be absolutely adorable together.
The simple fact of the matter was this: They both liked each other. Really, they did. Tofu was long since charmed by Kasumi's effortless charisma and beauty, while she admired him for his strength, kindness and intelligence. The attraction was mutual. The problem was that the good Doctor was more likely to bend a person in half twice over before he would ask Kasumi on a date. Hrm? What's that? Kasumi ask him on a date?
Sure, that sounds great! And while we're at it, there's this scene in a play called the King in Yellow, could you please help me perform it? Or perhaps you could help me solve this strange puzzle box that I found? Indeed, these ventures might carry less risk to your physical wellbeing than making a conscious effort to set these two up on a date.
"G-G-G-Good aftermorning Kasumi!" Tofu said. His glasses misted over, and a peculiar smile set upon his face. All of a sudden his arms angled out as though tugged this way and that by invisible strings dangling from the ceiling. "It is fine to good you on this see day!" He twirled around in place. "What can you do for I?"
To anyone who knew her the expression on Kasumi Tendo's face would have seemed completely out of place. It was the kind of expression a lioness wore before pouncing on a wounded gazelle. The difference here being the intention behind her newly awakened appetite.
"I've taken up a new hobby," Kasumi said, stepping into the room and lifting her hands up to face level. With each step into the room she shimmied with her hips hard enough to knock people down, were any unfortunate enough to stand in her way. "Hula dancing. Do you like?"
"Hehehehe!" Tofu replied. At some point he had acquired Betty's arm. Betty being his skeleton. He was using it to scratch his back. "I see, I see! That's why the floral patterned blouse and green skirt! Very hula esque without being indecent."
"Oh, I don't mind being indecent." Kasumi bit her lower lip and began to really throw herself into it. "More seriously... I wanted your honest opinion. I value your opinion, Doctor Tofu. Would you please watch my dance and tell me what you think?"
She stuck out her foot and gently pushed him into his chair. Her intention was rather obvious for us, looking at this even from an external perspective. Kasumi was aiming to entice and arouse this handsome man with her almost but not really erotic dancing. She was not aiming to induct him into the Committee, for one thing she didn’t know if she could. And another was that this felt like something she needed to consult Leader with. No, this was purely to satisfy that itch that had appeared between her legs ever since Nabki showed her how fun sex could be.
That was the plan. What wasn't the plan was Doctor Tofu rolling his chair backwards, falling off his seat and then doing a handstand in the corner of the room. Kasumi, for her part, didn't stop dancing even a little. If anything her hips started working overtime: It turned out that she'd misunderstood her emotional response to his funny antics for all this time. They weren't making her laugh. They were turning her on.
"Your dancing is very fun!" Tofu said from his upside down position. He lifted one hand off the ground to adjust his glasses, then for no apparent reason switched hands. "Not quite the style I imagined you would dance, but it is very pleasant to watch!"
Undeterred, Kasumi shimmied right on up to him up against the wall, turned around and attempted to grind her ass up against him while continuing to hula dance. Unfortunately all her perfectly delightful ass encountered was wall, as Tofu cartwheeled out of the way and wound up in front of her.
"Hey, hey! Would Betty make a good dancing partner?" he asked. Before Kasumi even knew what was happening, she was subjected to the sight of Doctor Tofu holding Betty the skeleton in front of her, and making it hula dance. As though looking in an x-ray mirror.
A sensible person might have given up by now. But alas, she was a Tendo. And a horny Tendo at that. This is not a kind of person who gives up. Not easily. Not with difficulty either. She was not leaving this room without getting laid, mark her words!
The sky above was clear and without a trace of clouds. Regardless, the sound of thunder could be heard echoing over the skies of Furinkan when she had that thought.
<hr>
It felt good to be back at Furinkan. It was as if he had never left! The Principal took a deep, deep breath - and almost choked on it. Gah! Not nearly Hawaiian enough for his tastes! Far too... Japanese. "Needs more coconut..." he said aloud to himself.
Well,that would come in time. Once the students learned the beauty and majesty that were those chain of islands. He chuckled a little to himself. Yes, he could already tell that there was a lot of work to be done, but he fully intended to enjoy it to the fullest -
"Yipe!"
Though he did have to say, having a busty young girl student suddenly collide with you and knock you on your ass was not something he ought to enjoy.
"Fiendish principal!" his son yelled, rushing towards the two of them with a bokken raised above his head. Oh dear, Tatewaki. This simply would not do! "Abusing your position to molest the fair and innocent pigtailed girl!"
Pardon? He would never molest any girl! He was a married man, loyal to his dear wife who even now was waiting for him back in Spain. Ah to see her in full bullfighting uniform again. She was at her most truly alive when adorning that red cape!
The young pigtailed girl looked at him, and the Principal could plainly see the gears turning in her head before she suddenly yelped "Wah, Principal! This mean boy is bullying meee!" Her fists clenched under her chin, exaggerated sobs coming out her her throat.
Deep breath now. The Principal hadn't quite wanted to use this yet, but these two students were rather making it impossible. So he pulled out a coconut grenade and lobbed it right at his own son's feet. The boy recognised what it was right away, of course. Not nearly soon enough. It blasted him back down the corridor.
"Thank you Mister Principal!" the girl cheered, sticking out her tongue and making a quite rude gesture at Tachi that she thought he couldn't see.
"You're very welcome, Mister Saotome," the Principal said. The girl's reaction alone made it worth blowing up his son. Oh, who was he kidding? That was its own reward! "Now then, this reminds me: We do need to have a chat about your unusual circumstance. It really is not appropriate to have you changing with the girls or the boys. Right?"
"Grk!" Ranma had the good sense to react to that.
Tsk, tsk, tsk! "We'll talk it over after school today," the Principal continued. With anyone else that would be the perfect opportunity to set up a little hypnosis session. Get her around the idea that more discipline was needed in this school. Alas, she was a martial artist, and not just any martial artist but arguably the strongest one in town. Any such attempt was doomed to failure. Ironically, her internal discipline would keep her mind stable enough to resist attempts to discipline her. "And please, I don't appreciate it when girl students try to use feminine wiles to manipulate me. I like it less when the boys try the same."
And like that he walked away, leaving the sometimes girl confused over what to make of him. Ally or enemy? How about neither? Or maybe both at once. Mister Saotome, you had a tremendous amount of potential in front of you. Which is why it would be his utter delight to have you hula dancing in either form
Now... He should really check in on his newly formed disciplinary committee. By now Nabiki must have recruited at least one or two non martial arts students to their cause...
- Nabiki breaks down her plans with Akane's friends.
- Kasumi continues trying to seduce Tofu.
- Nabiki recruits someone else.
- Akane investigates the Principal.
- Something else
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