Ukyo felt great. No, really she did. For so long now she'd been pent up, frustrated and sexually confused, but now? Everything was in a clear sharp focus. In hindsight it made a lot more sense. I mean, really, “throwing aside her womanhood” just because a bunch of dumb kids made fun of her? Kids are assholes, they would have mocked her no matter what. And she had liked changing Ranma into a girl far too much. Honestly now, repeatedly turning him into a her and back again? That was such an immature thing to do!
The only regret she had was that her bed was empty. Still empty. No sign of Ranma's girl form, nor Akane to heat it up for herself. Mmm, though if she had to choose then she'd gladly take both... Oh gosh, now she was starting to sound like that kendo club idiot. Ugh!
"Then again, at least I stand a chance of nailing one of those two cuties," Ukyo smirked. "And with time, both of them..."
She shuddered, bit her lip and closed her eyes as the fantasy came to her unbidden. Herself. Behind the grill downstairs. Wearing an apron and not a stitch else, while girl form Ranma was strutting around in a maid uniform and Akane was seated at a table, drinking in the sight of the two babes serving her.
Ranma would pull out a napkin from within her cleavage and set it down upon Akane's lap, bending over at just the right angle where Ukyo could almost see the panties she wasn't wearing. Then the pigtailed beauty would tug out another napkin from that glorious spot and tie it around Akane's neck to fashion it as a bib, smoothing it out and - by coincidence - groping at her boobs in the process.
<i>"Shall I take your order?"</i> Ranma would whisper into Akane's ear.
<I>"I'll take the hottest thing on the menu,"</i> Akane would answer.
<i>"Steamy threesome, coming right up!"</i> Ranma would say, tipping Akane's head back so they could savour one another's taste. <i>"That appetiser is on the house."</i>
One would think that's as hot as it got, but if you did think that then you hadn't taken the brunt of girl form Ranma's attention when she's wearing a sexy maid uniform (or at least, imagined what that would be like in graphic vivid detail). You've never seen her strut towards you with hunger in her eyes. You've never seen her look over her shoulder with that cocky beautiful smile. Didn't matter it was aimed at someone else, it was still too hot to be reasonable.
Ranma slips behind the counter and trails one hand up Ukyo's inner thigh. Ukyo turned and smiled at her knowingly, and then the pair of them left. With Ranma's hand never leaving the comfortable place it had found.
<i>"I understand you ordered the hottest thing on the menu?"</i> Ukyo asked.
<i>"Uh huh,"</i> Akane answered. She slid to the seat next to her, and Ukyo moved on in finding herself sandwiched between the two babes. <i>"I think you've exceeded my wildest expectations."</i>
The moment of truth had arrived. To her left, girl form Ranma was moving in. To her right, Akane. Their target: Ukyo's cheeks. Something simply as that was a prelude to the delights still to come. And cum. And -
"Will you be my wife?"
Ukyo shot bolt upright with her hand still down her underwear. Huh? Huh?! What the hell was that?! The answer was in her vision right away. Namely, a giant floating bell sitting right there in the middle of the air over her bed.
"Yes, you would make a splendid wife!" the talking floating bell said to her.
"Nope!" Ukyo yelled and bolted for the door. Sadly, the bell was a bit too fast for her and managed to beat her there. "I said nope! Nope, nope, nope!"
“But I need a wife! And you can cook and are really pretty!”
Ukyo snorted, “Sugar if anything I’m going to be the husband.”
“But you’re a girl!”
“And butch as hell.” Ukyo said with a mildly proud smirk. Felt kind of good to admit that aspect of herself. “Now you’re that bell that Shamps babe gave Ranchan, what’s up with that?”
“Oh you mean that pretty girl that felt like a cat! She’d make a good wife too!”
No disagreement there. That Shampoo girl might be a tough martial artist but there wasn't a hint of butchness or tomboy about her. She managed to be both stereotypically girly and a murder machine at the same time. Actually, that made her even more weirdly hot to Ukyo -
"Mrrrowr! Marry me, butch girl!"
Stupid sexy Shampoo, distracting her from the problem at hand! Ukyo kicked away off the floor, rolling backwards. The bell followed. That was fine. She was trying to get closer to her battle spatula anyway!
Clang! She rang that bell for all it was worth - but the vibration simply shot up her arm and left her the one trembling from the impact. The bell continued to jingle like nothing happened. “Look pal I ain’t marrying a bell!”
“Ohhhh is that all? I’m not actually a bell.” It said. That didn’t sound helpful. Whispy smoke began to come out of the floating bell, and the air began to chill. Ukyo stepped back, wondering if maybe this was something more dangerous than she had imagined. Had she angered some demon? Disturbed some evil spirit. Oh man she wished she had kept a shrine on speed-dial now!
"Nyaaaa! Marry meeee!" mewled a giant goofy looking white cat that was absolutely lacking in any kind of threatening appearance. Even its teeth looked like they'd been filed down to keep it from being able to bite anyone.
Ukyo kicked it out of her apartment door and slammed it behind her. “Good riddance to that.” She said, brushing off her hands and heading back to her bed. She had a Dream Ranma and Dream Akane to have some fun with-
“Please! I’ve spent the last 300 years single!” The Ghost Cat said, on her futon again.
Ugh! This was not the pussy she wanted in bed with her! On completing that thought Ukyo punched herself for going for such an obvious pun. Especially as she had a bad feeling that this was foreshadowing of similar puns coming down the pipeline.
“I mean, I remember this beautiful girl with a matching smaller bell to mine. Surely you’re here and can be my bride!”
“No bells.” Ukyo said. Her ears were still ringing a bit. Okay. Deep breath. "Hold on, you stay right there. I need to go and get something. Right back in a minute."
<hr>
Someone was about to be boatmurdered. Nabiki Tendo did not get upset easily, but interrupting her sleep was a rather fine way to get on her shit list at a very high priority. Which was exactly what the person thundering down knocks on the front gate was doing right about now, making Nabiki put on her rarely seen 'genuinely pissed' face.
On reaching the gate she hauled it open to give the idiot a piece of her mind, and then found herself being steadfastly ignored as Ukyo Kuonji rushed right on inside the Tendo compound and pushed the gate closed.
"Don't mind me," Ukyo said. "Uh... I'm staying the night!"
"Are you now?" Nabiki said. Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. Her eye was twitching. This did not bode well for the chef's financial future. "And what, may I ask, brought this on all of a sudden?"
"Found you! Ooooh! Will you be my wife as well?"
Now she was boggling at a ghost cat. Not even a scary one, nor a cute one. It was merely... unthreatening. “How much money do you have?” she asked without missing a beat.
“Uh… I have three balls of yarn?”
“Pass.”
“I told you to stay.” Ukyo said in the tone of one who was resigned to life going horribly wrong.
"I got lonely, so I came to look for you sweetie!"
And just like that Nabiki was in a better mood. Nothing made her more happy to be awake than a money making opportunity... except possibly the chance to make fun of someone who had pissed her off.
"Oh my, I didn't know you swung that way," Nabiki gasped. "Miss Kuonji! I'd like to congratulate you on your fresh engagement!"
"I'm not marrying the cat!" Ukyo yelled.
"But you make such a cute couple!" Nabiki cried. Crocodile tears, of course. "Oh, don't let this romantic saga go to waste, it truly would be a travesty."
"I like her! Can she be your maid of honour?" the cat asked. Ukyo slammed her spatula down on its head.
“Somebody get Ranma up, her girlfriend is the one who fostered this on me.” Ukyo said with no small amount of irritation. The 'her' remark flew over Nabiki's head completely in its importance.
"Oh, I see. You want to tell Ranma that the engagement is off," Nabiki said.
“I called that off weeks ago.” Ukyo said with an annoyed grunt. “And it has nothing to do with this furball and you know it.”
“You dumped your fiance for me!? That’s true love!” The cat began <b>actually hugging</b> Ukyo.
“Goddamnit Nabiki!”
Nabiki practically skipped off to Ranma's room and dragged his sleepy ass downstairs. "Huh? What? Huh?" he grunted unintelligibly.
"Intruder alert! Martial artist needed!" Nabiki sang. Oho, but she couldn't wait for this. "Are you up to the challenge, mister 'doesn't lose'?"
"I'm always ready!" Ranma yawned. Rather spoiled the cool boy image he was going for here. "I'll sort out this intruder no matter -"
Then he saw it. Pinning Ukyo to the ground. Licking her face. He was wide awake now. Pale as a sheet... Or if you prefer, pale as that ghost cat.
"Nope!" Ranma yelled. Then immediately pulled out of Nabiki's grip and stormed back upstairs. "Nope, nope, nope! This is a nightmare! Tralala! Hey Akane, since this is a nightmare there are no consequences at all to me kissing you like this!"
There was the sound of a blunt heavy object landing on a numbskull, and shortly thereafter Akane joined Nabiki in enjoying the show. "Nabiki, what's going on out -"
Then she saw the cat and went "Nope!"
"Will you all stop with the running gag and help me out?!" Ukyo yelled.
"Well... I mean, Ukyo! I don't think this is what people mean when they say licking pussy."
Nabiki had to do a double take there. "Did you really go there Akane?" she asked, genuinely surprised at her little sister's bold double entendre. She hadn’t ever seen Akane so… casual,.. about anything to do sex before.
Meanwhile Ukyo Kuonji was being licked to death. "Mmm! You taste of fish!" the cat mewled.
"Oh shit, I think it's into vore! Help!"
Akane pinched the bridge of her nose, then marched right on up to the cat. She tapped it on the shoulder, smiled at it, and then punted it really, really hard. The three girls watched the pest sail off into the horizon, then Akane dusted her hands.
"Can we go back to sleep now?" she asked.
"Nyaaaa! That sounds good to meeeee!" the cat mewled, rubbing up against Akane's legs now.
All of a sudden Nabiki's bad mood was completely gone. Strange how that worked out.
"Oh man, Akane. I had the weirdest nightmare," Ranma grunted. "There was a ghost cat, and then you clocked me for no good rea-"
Then he saw the ghost cat rubbing up against Akane's legs.
"Nope!"
"Hmph. Pussy!" Nabiki jeered as the boy retreated with great speed. Oh, this was turning out to be very worth her time!
"Oooh... You horndog! Horncat!" Akane bopped it on the head. "I'm not interested in marrying some cat! And neither is Ukyo!"
"Nyaaaah! Playing hard to get is so cute!"
"Ninety percent of the time, guys saying that a girl is playing hard to get are operating under the delusion that the girl is actually interested in them when she plainly is not!" Akane yelled. "Ugh! You're as bad as Kuno!"
“Worse I’d say, when you punt Kuno away he doesn’t come back for a few hours.” Nabiki commented. "So, girls? Any bright ideas for getting rid of this mangy moggy?" See, by this point Nabiki was so into this that she didn't much care what they came up with. It was bound to be the best thing ever.
"Man, Akane... I had the weirdest - Nope! Nope! Nope!" Ranma yelled, popping his head out and then immediately retreating again.
"We can't get married!" Akane said. Oooh, her eyes were doing that whole 'darting about thing' while trying to think of a plan. This was gonna be good! "And you can't marry Ukyo either because - because!"
"Because we're already in a relationship!" Ukyo added. "With each other."
A piece of tumbleweed blew into the garden, rolled along the grass and then departed again. Which was a miracle given that tumbleweed couldn't possibly have come in over the fence. Nor were there any tumbleweeds in Japan. This plan had exceeded Nabiki's expectations, and she was filled to the brim with an urge for popcorn.
"Hmm?" the ghost cat queried. "Reeeally? You two are lesbian lovers?! I don't believe it. You're still playing hard to get."
“I’m dressed like a fuckin man.” Ukyo said icily. “The hell made you think I was straight!?”
"I'm pretty open minded like that," the ghost cat nodded.
"Not open minded enough to accept that a girl might not be interested in you..." Akane groused.
"Well, yes. Of course. Because I'm way too cute for that to be the case! I've earned the chance to be with a girl of my choice just by existing as a male!"
Ugh! That wasn't even sexism anymore. That was strawman sexism. Now Nabiki <i>really</i> wanted some popcorn!
"Anyway, I don't believe you're lesbians," the ghost cat sniffed. "You're making it up so that I'll try harder. That's the kind of game that girls play, after all."
"Alright!" Ukyo yelled, kipping up to her feet and storming across the garden. "You want some evidence that we're lesbians? Then how about this?"
And then proceeded a sight that made Nabiki's jaw flat out drop. Not much could say that. Oh, fuck popcorn she wished she had her camera for this! Her prudish little sister making out with her fiance's best friend. Wow! They were really going at it too, this was a hell of a performance they were putting on. If she didn't know any better she'd swear up and down that the two of them had been having regular sex over the last couple of weeks.
It was the little things that gave that impression. Little bits of their body language. The way that Ukyo's hand so naturally went to the small of Akane's back. The way that Akane leaned into the kiss without hesitation. Neither of them had their eyes open, and the only time that they were parting lips was so they could move into a more comfortable position. The light moan from Akane’s throat when Ukyo pushed her lips closer to Akane’s. If Nabiki wasn't wide awake before, then she sure as shit was now!
"Huh... Okay. It's pretty clear that the two of you are lesbians," the ghost cat nodded. "In which case... how about you!"
Uh oh. All of a sudden Nabiki had the threat of a ghost cat bounding down on her. She kicked away from it. Its tongue was out! She was about to get slurped, there was nothing she could do to -
Which was when Ukyo's tongue wound up in Nabiki's mouth. Eh? When did she even - eh?! For that matter when had Akane got to the other side of her, and wh-why was her prudish little sister kissing the nape of her neck like this?!
"It's good to be in an open lesbian relationship," Akane said. "Isn't it Nabiki?" Her voice rang in Nabiki’s ears, and it felt strangely hypnotic, echoing through her soul.
"Mmmph?!" Nabiki grunted. Trying not to admit that part of her was liking this.
"Ah... What a shame..." the ghost cat sighed. "You all love the wrong type of pussy. Oh well! Far be it for me to interfere in such a pure and innocent three way lesbian relationship. If only I had my camera... We could commemorate your love!"
“As creepy as that sounds I’m going to have to pass.” Ukyo said, “So can you leave me alone now?”
There was a pause, and for a moment Akane and Ukyo felt hope that they’d get some peace. Then the cat got down on his paws and began bowing to Ukyo
“Please help me find a bride! To be able to get two girls at once! You must be a master! Help me please!”
"Nope!" Nabiki mumbled, sleepily detaching herself from Ukyo and Akane to wander off to her own room. "Had enough ghost cat for one night."
But little did she realise, before long she'd never be able to get enough pussy.
- Time to pay a visit to the cat cafe.
- The lesbian shard starts having odd reactions with the ghost cat.
- Nabiki confronts Ranma on the weirdly gay going-ons with Akane and Ukyo
- Ryoga wanders in to somewhere.
- Something Else
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