Story: The Shinobu I Know

That jerk. That big stupid jerk. That big stupid perverted jerk! With every step Shinobu took home she added another unflattering adjective. Well, every step until completing the thought took longer than her next step, at which point the rate slowed down a little, but this is rather besides the point.

"Hello dear," Mrs Miyake said to her daughter as the girl stomped in through the front door. "How are you today, Shinobu?"

"I'm a perfectly ordinary girl!" Shinobu yelled while still internally ranting about that extraordinarily perverted boy. Honestly! Getting that poor woman to dress up like that. And her as well! Guh!

“Yes you are!” Mrs. Miyake said with tears of joy in her eyes. Even after all these months hearing Shinobu say that brought such relief to her heart. If only she'd known that her daughter had spent a decent amount of time today getting a deep, satisfying and long needed dicking then... actually it's better for all concerned that she didn't know that, so never mind that hypothetical.

Shinobu fumed and stomped upstairs to her room and slammed the door. "Ohhhh, that boy! What kind of filthy mind does he have? Can't he keep it in his pants? Noooo, of course he can't! He just had to trick that pretty... busty shrine maiden into stripping down and letting me cop a feel..." Shinobu shook her head and wiped drool from the corner of her mouth. That didn't happen. An ordinary girl wouldn't do something like that.

She flopped down onto her bed and looked down at her clothes. Yes, these were far more reasonable than that <i>thing</i> Ataru had got her to wear before. Honestly, it was so lewd! How had he even persuaded her to put it on? Shinobu dipped her head from side to side. She couldn't remember no matter how much she thought about it.

Now she was getting a little bit concerned. Why couldn't she remember that detail? Come to think, how on earth did he manage to persuade that total babe to put on a similar set of clothes? It wasn't as though his nimble eager fingers were so adept at toying with a woman's body that it momentarily shuts off common sense.

"Could it be?" Shinobu gasped all of a sudden. "Could he have somehow... Hypnotised me into putting that slutty, slutty, wonderful outfit on?" The girl felt flush at a thought like that. Her fingers reflexively moved to unbutton the top of her shirt and her thighs rubbed together in eager anticipation. "I bet that must be it. Somehow, he managed to get us both under his spell. Then he ordered us to strip down for his personal gratification, and to keep things interested he got us to put those silly gowns on. If you can even call them gowns!"

By the time she was finished the girl was lying back on her bed humping the air without even seeming to know she was doing so. A wild grin was on her face. She had the sort of look that the universe last saw when a certain brainless hunk caught sight of an unguarded banquet on Europa.

But then she suddenly kipped up, somersaulted twice in the air and landed on her feet with such precision that even the Russian judges would be holding up a ten. A rather more manic expression fell upon her face that twisted and cavorted into a nice, normal relaxed smile. Which was rather offset by the frantic way in which her hands were engaged in a competition: The left hand wanted to unbutton as many on her shirt as possible, while her right hand was buttoning them again.

"Hahahaha!" Shinobu laughed, in the kind of way that demonstrated that audio too had a home in the uncanny valley. "That's so ridiculous! Something that hot and steamy isn't normal! A normal girl like me doesn't -" Her left hand suddenly won and she slipped her shirt right off her shoulders, exposing her bra and making lewd gestures with her hips. " - Crave the chance to track down that babe and finish corrupting her. Corrupting her right down to her core. Making her dirty, dirty, just like me!"

The shirt was quickly pulled on again and rebuttoned.

"Or rather, dirty in a way that I'm not. Because I'm an ordinary girl. A perfectly ordinary not perverted girl. Tralalala! I'm mundane!"

You've never in your life heard someone sound so happy to call themselves mundane. For now at least the battle seemed to be won out by the rather less lewd version of Shinobu created by her sessions. Why, looking around her room she didn't see anything lewd at all!

The thing she used to open her door was a door handle. Not a doorknob. Because that would imply she was firmly gripping a knob, which was British slang for penis. Penis, cock, dick, shaft, knob. Then there was her bed, which was never ever ever ever ever stained or soaked through with fluids. Lewd fluids. Lewd dirty, dirty fluids.

"I am an ordinary girl," Shinobu repeated to herself. "Ordinary girls can't find lewdness in every single thing they see. Hahaha! Only a dirty minded pervert would look at her pile of plush toys and wonder what they would look like if they all had big bouncy titties!" And they would have never, ever used their teddy bears as masturbation aids! That would be completely sick in the head and totally abnormal!

"Shinobu! Dinner time!"

"Oh thank goodness," Shinobu whispered to herself and briefly wondered why. "Cumming mother!" she called, and skipped and frolicked down the stairs to get herself filled up with something. She was feeling quite hungry. As if she'd spent a fair amount of time engaged in strenuous activity, though she couldn't quite think what.

"Hello dear, we're having your father's favourite tonight," Shinobu's dear sweet mother said. The girl sat down at the table feeling oddly ravenous. She grinned a big grin, grateful for the distraction from lewd disgusting horrible naughty dirty thoughts and then saw on her plate that they were indeed having her father's favourite food: "Hot dogs!"

Hot dogs! Yes, hot dogs! It was a terrible thing really. Mr Miyake used to love them. Adore them. He had acquired the taste during a trip to America in his youth but had to give it up as soon as Shinobu hit puberty.

I mean, put yourself in his place. If you saw your daughter eating hot dogs like <b>that</b>, you'd stop wanting them too.

'Cut it', Shinobu told herself while staring at the cylindrical meat lying on her plate. 'Cut it, cut it, cut it. Cut it up and eat the little bits. Don't slowly slide it into your mouth all in a single go. Don’t then slowly pull it out before finally taking a tiny bite. Ordinary girls have gag reflexes. Ordinary girls didn't deliberately train out their gag reflex with hours and hours of practise. Ordinary girls cut up their meat instead of eating it as if they were miming some kind of sex act.'

With a trembling hand, Shinobu gripped her knife and her fork tightly, so tightly it turned her knuckles white. With sheer force of will she pinned the meat down and deftly sliced through it. Victory!

"So, what sort of antics did that Moroboshi boy get up to this time?" her father asked with a hearty laugh. "I heard you coming into the house, young lady. Don't tell me, he summoned a devil?"

"No dad, that was last week," Shinobu corrected. “It kept multiplying itself. Real annoying.”

Her parents stared at her for a moment while Shinobu continued concentrating on eating. It was hard going, but she was able to keep herself from deep throating that meat. That yummy, scrummy phallic meat. Anyway, those two stopped staring at her after a moment and exchanged a look among themselves where both thought the same thing: Well at least she's not getting involved in anything perverted!

“Some priestess showed up and Ataru started hitting on her.” She took a particularly hard bite and bent her fork a little. “That perverted boy!”

Phew! Definitely a relief for her parents! Though neither of them could guess that part of Shinobu's frustration was coming from her inner self being annoyed they didn't finish the job.

"Don't you think you should give that boy up as a lost cause?" her mother gently suggested. "I mean... He's already engaged to that alien Princess. I know you've been close with him for quite some time, but it's obvious that he's not going to change for the better. Try finding a nicer boyfriend."

A nicer boyfriend? Give Ataru up? Give up those sweet nimble fingers and that deep satisfying - ordinary girl! Ordinary. Girl! Shinobu chewed on the piece of hotdog in her mouth for slightly longer than strictly necessary while her parents leaned in. Inching closer and closer to hear what their daughter had to say.

Eventually she swallowed. The parents were on the edge of their seats. Quite literally, in fact. They were about to fall over if Shinobu didn't say anything in the next ten se-

"I refuse!" Shinobu stood up. "That idiot may be a pervert, but someone's got to keep an eye on him! That Lum girl.... Ooh! I can tell she's a bad influence! Strutting around in that bikini, flaunting what she's got! Nothing about her is ordinary or normal or even close to average! Think of what Ataru's done even when he's being watched by someone with common sense! He made it rain oil! Oil! Our ecosystem should be ruined! By which I mean every ecosystem on Earth! And that was when I took my eye off him for a minute! Imagine what might happen if he was ignored altogether! Total extinction eveeeeeent!"

All three of the Miyake's fell off their seats, though the daughter for slightly different reasons than the parents. Shinobu lay there on the ground looking up at the ceiling. The ordinary ceiling. The perfectly ordinary ceiling. Which was just like her. Ordinary. Mundane. Normal. Boring. Prudish. Plain. The perfect counterbalance to Ataru's weirdness, the only one who could keep him in -

Shinobu blinked. Slowly. Oh yeah. That's right! Oh yeah! How did she forget something like that?!

"No dessert please!" Shinobu said, quickly stabbing the hot dogs and gulping them down in a single go. No really, to make this girl gag you'd have to funnel concrete down her throat. "I just remembered that I have a place to be!"

"You do?" her father asked.

"Where?" her mother added, as mothers have a tendency to ask the more pertinent and accurate question of concern.

"That idiot's got another one of his schemes going!" Shinobu explained while grappling with her shoes. Ah! Come on, come on! "Someone's gotta be there to keep him from causing an intergalactic war, and it might as well be me!"

<hr>

Sakura felt good.

That was new. In fact, it was rather distracting. She was in her room trying to meditate, but she couldn't quite find her centre. It didn't exactly help that she was still wearing that gown she'd acquired at the Moroboshi place, but... For some reason she simply couldn't bring herself to take it off. Not quite yet.

It was strange. It was as if she associated this garment with the clearer breathing, the lack of chest and head pains, lack of ringing in her ears (etc). Wearing it made her feel free in a way she had never felt before. Liberated. It was throwing her off because her centre had moved, and she was having trouble finding it.

"Is that attire really suitable for a Priestess to wear?"

And goodbye liberating feeling. She smacked Cherry on the head and in the process almost certainly hurt her hand more than it did his head. Which said something considering how strong she felt.

"Uncle! Don't barge in uninvited!"

"A Priest goes where he is needed." the diminutive pest put his hands together and prayed. "You seem much healthier than normal, Sakura. This is deeply troubling."

The way he phrased that made it sound like he wanted her to be sick, so she bopped him again.

"With sudden health comes opportunity to indulge," Cherry said. She bopped him again. "You will desire things like trips to the beach, going on walks and visiting restaurants. You may even seek the companionship of men."

She lifted her hand to bop him again, but this time stopped. Walks on the beach... So she could wear swimsuits and go swimming? She could dress up and go on walks? Visit restaurants without getting stomach cramps? She could date men? Men other than Tsubame!? Men who could ease the tension from her back with a divine touch that must have been gifted from the Gods?

Such pleasant thoughts were cast to the winds when Cherry's face suddenly filled her vision. His ugly, hideous, ever intruding visage!

“Demon begone!” She shouted, slapping a ofuda on his face. This didn't actually have any effect on him, but while he was removing it she was able to kick him out of the room and push furniture up against the door to keep him out. "That lousy uncle of mine, sticking his nose where it doesn't belong! As always!"

Taking deep breaths to calm herself, Sakura found herself in front of her mirror. Usually she used it to check her body for signs of sores or blemishes or other diseases she might not be aware of that could be a problem. This was the first time she'd really looked at herself since the last of the disease spirits was dispelled. No weird bumps, no snot hanging off her nose, nothing was swollen or pussy or wrong in the slightest.

She was flawless. The reflection in front of her was a breathtakingly beautiful woman. No wonder those two amazing people had been so… excited… to meet her.

She gave a twirl to take a better look. Stunning. Breathtaking! It was strange, but all of a sudden this gown didn't seem half as scandalous as it had when she first laid eyes on it. Which was strange. It was still as much clinging to her curves as before. It still had the slit up her thigh. It still didn't really cover up her breasts at all, but she wasn't nearly as shocked by what it did show off as she probably should be.

In fact, it was outright comfortable. Sakura ran her index finger along from the bottom of her neck and down her exposed neckline. This felt... nice. There was a pleasant warmth in the pit of her stomach that reminded her of when that girl started to rub out all the tension. Tugging out the disease spirits while Sakura barely noticed. Slowly one hand slipped under the cool fabric to poke at the swell underneath.This was also nice. It made her think of when that girl covered her up to make sure the boy couldn't see her breasts. A slight tug at the fabric and her breasts were bare for her to see. Very, very nice! An idle thought passed her mind: Perhaps she should let the boy see these after helping her get rid of the disease spirits? No, that was a step too far.

What wasn't a step too far was investigating this damp warm feeling in between her legs. This was new. It was different. Sakura's hand ventured inside the gown, her gaze completely drawn to the reflection. Was it a lingering disease spirit? It didn't feel like a disease. As a priestess, she should investigate mysteries just like this. She unconsciously wet her lips. Yes. Investigate thoroughly. With every inch of her power. She should spend a lot of time investigating. Vigorously. Using her fingers to probe while her eyes watched the rest of her body. In case other symptoms arose. Why, she was already feeling flush by merely thinking of... investigating.

"As a reminder, you're chaperoning later on as well! So don't spend too long meditating!" Cherry suddenly interrupted, and believe me that there's nothing more effective as a mood killer than being reminded that Cherry existed somewhere in the universe. Cold showers have nothing on his hideous mug!

"I remember!" Sakura yelled, quickly closing up her gown again. Well. Closing it up as far as it would go. It wasn't even supposed to close for a girl of Shinobu's build, never mind Sakura.

Honestly, now! As if she wasn't having enough difficulty clearing her thoughts without him intruding! Alright. Might as well do something useful with her time. Let's see... Shinobu will probably want this gown back, so it probably wasn't appropriate for her to take while chaperoning. She ought to pick out something else, so... Let's see. What would be appropriate for chaperoning on an alien world?

The priestess was left stuck here as she suddenly realised the absurdity of what she'd agreed to. Chaperoning on an alien world...? Oh dear! Oh dear oh dear! That was well outside of her area of expertise! Ah... she had no idea what to expect of their climate. Would her robes be suitable? A more casual outfit? Something cute? Something formal? Think about it, there must be a way to tell -

Then inspiration struck from the blue. She remembered the tag race. That oni girl! She'd thought it weird that she'd shown up wearing a tiger print bikini, but... that was probably the fashion of her people. Right? Right! Well! As it just so happened Sakura had a collection of swimsuits she had never had the chance to wear before due to her illness! If this was the fashion on that oni planet, then this is what she would wear!

And no, dear reader. This was not an excuse on her part to try them out after so, so long wanting to. Really! It was simply good etiquette to conform to the culture you're cordially invited to visit. It was a coincidence that she was very nearly drooling at the prospect while sorting through the various colours and styles she'd acquired over the years for this very day.

Outside Sakura’s room, Cherry nodded stoically. “It’s good to hear that you’re guiding the youth to a responsible tomorrow.” He said. Honestly, he’s kind of an idiot.

1. Shinobu arrives to the date between Lum and Ataru. Slips back into her perverted persona.
2. She arrives, but stays 'ordinary'.
3. Shinobu has an encounter with one of Lum's friends, who is checking out the planet.
4. Shinobu somehow winds up in Sakura's room, led there by perverted instinct.
5. Something else