It was a tale of woe and tragedy. Two boys at an all boy's middle school, both skilled martial artists destined to clash at the slightest provocation. And that provocation came at lunchtime when -
"He stole your lunch," Ukyo finished for him, feeling slightly annoyed at something so basic. "Big deal. I went to an all boy's school too, and I can't tell you how many times I got my lunch nicked."
"You're a chef," Ryoga observed. "You could always make your own."
Ukyo drummed her fingers on the floor. That was a good point. She shut up and let him continue.
It happened every day for months on end. He'd always steal it right out of Ryoga's grasp. The best sandwich going that day! The last piece of melon bread! Leaving Ryoga nothing to eat but the soggy, stale leftovers that nobody wanted. What sick and twisted mind would serve up a mushy pea and broccoli sandwich to growing boys?!
"As a chef, I must protest at the misuse of perfectly good vegetables," Ukyo interrupted.
"I'd agree with that, except they weren't perfectly good vegetables." Ryoga stuck out his tongue. Clunk, the spatula hit him on the head, “Ow!”
“How old are you?”
Ryoga held out his fingers and counted off on them. Which was about the point that Ukyo pinched the bridge of her nose. He was really lucky he was cute.
"Sixteen," he answered eventually. Ukyo sighed and made a gesture with her hand that basically meant 'get on with it'.
One day, that misfortunate youth couldn't take it anymore. He challenged his rival to a fight. They had to settle this matter once and for all! And so, it was decided. They had a holiday coming up at the end of the week, so at noon on the first day of that holiday they would meet up and square off in an empty lot behind his house. But by the time that misfortunate youth had arrived, his rival had already departed!
"Ranma skipped out on a fight?" Ukyo frowned. "That doesn't sound like him."
"Well, it's true! The coward never even appeared!" Ryoga insisted. "And after all the struggle I had to get through to reach that empty lot!"
"Struggle?" Ukyo asked. "Wait, I thought it was behind your house."
"Yes, it was," Ryoga admitted. "But the streets around my house are like an insidious labyrinth. They led me down a scenic route, through forests, mountains and beaches. I had to live off the fat of the land, and the kindness of strangers. By the time I had arrived my fury was at its peak - and he wasn't there because he was too afraid to wait a measly three days!"
Clang! That's the sound it makes when an idiot meets the flat end of a battle spatula.
"Three days?! To get behind your own house?!" Ukyo yelled. "I bet he picked the battle location, right?"
"How'd you guess?"
Clang! "Because even that normally insensitive idiot noticed that you'd get lost on the way! Honestly, it's a miracle you ever got home in the first place with that kind of direction sense!"
"If you must know, the reason I ever got home is because that bastard Ranma would always pour sand down my back right at the end of the school day. So I'd chase him for a clobbering, and then -"
"He led you home every single day without drawing attention to your problem."
"That's right, the inconsiderate oaf! I'll have my revenge for the sand as well! Do you know how long it took to get that out of my clothing?!"
Ohhhh, but Ukyo could feel a <i>headache</i> coming on. “All I hear is that you’re an idiot blaming Ranma for your own failings.”
It felt weird defending Ranma like that when he'd done so much to ruin her life. Ah! She wasn't being a hypocrite or anything like that, though. Her reason for hating Ranma was all to do with him being a jackass, and certainly not because of any failing on her part. At the very least she was reflective of herself enough to recognise that much!
"About the only thing I can't blame on that idiot is this stupid pig curse," Ryoga continued to gripe. "That was all down to that blasted pig haired girl chasing after that stupid looking panda."
... Ukyo opened her mouth to speak, but the words. They would not form.
"Oooh! I'm not the sort of guy that fights girls, but at the very least I'd like to give that careless, clumsy idiot a few choice words!" Ryoga steamed. "What was she thinking dashing around like that near a place like Jusenkyo?"
What indeed? Still... This idiot did present her with a rare opportunity. Ranma was obviously a much stronger martial artist than she'd been expecting. Picking a fight with him right here and now was an obvious losing proposition. In which case, if she was to get her revenge it would be much more sensible for her to take a less obvious route.
Oh, and if she set things up right with Nabiki they could have a really sweet betting rig put up. Ukyo would provide food for people watching, Nabiki'd hussle them up. It was the perfect plan! Why, she'd even get to watch two the most handsome, sexy and stupid boys she'd ever met tearing strips out of one another.
Ukyo discretely pinched herself on thinking that last part. Too much time as a boy. Too much innate horniness creeping in. Don't think about the hot muscular boys working up a sweat. Think about... Nabiki's inevitable scheme to make money and advertise for her restaurant. A thought which inevitably turned into Nabiki wearing a maid's outfit and -
"Uh, are you alright?" Ryoga interrupted. "You've been sitting there and laughing in a kind of creepy way for about two minutes now."
"I'm fine!" Ukyo protested, wiping a bit of drool away from her mouth. "I'm perfectly fine, thanks for asking! More importantly, I think I know who that pigtailed girl might be..."
<hr>
"H-here you go Nabiki," a frightened sounding boy whimpered. "That's all the money I owe you for this month. Can - can I please have that love letter back?"
Relaxing in her seat, Nabiki didn't even give him the privilege of eye contact. He hadn't paid enough for that. "I'll think about it," she coldly answered while counting up the cash. Not a penny missing. Smart boy. He slunk off with his head down without saying another word. Even smarter.
Though not nearly smart enough for her to consider actually dating seriously.
Nabiki had a bit of a reputation around Furinkan. The Ice Queen. It was a well earned nickname. She was every bit as pretty as either her older or younger sister, but her personality was nowhere near as warm. She had too much fun playing with people. Especially when it meant she could empty their wallets in the process. Where other girls her age dated, Nabiki saw an easy chance for some nights out and a little extra cash. Not to mention the fun she had breaking hearts.
It was easy. As said before, she was pretty. She knew how to dress up. She knew how to act to get boys interested. It was pretty trivial, really. She barely had to do anything. Let the love letters come in, make a couple of photocopies, go out on a date. Take them for all they were worth - then break their hearts.
"Ugh," Tatewaki Kuno grunted as he sat down in front of her. "What is that disgusting thing upon your face, Nabiki Tendo? It fills me with a sense of dread and unease unlike any that I have yet encountered. Be rid of it, at once!"
Something on her face? Nabiki pulled out a pocket mirror. Oh. She was smiling. Not her usual sardonic smirk either, but a warm and radiant smile that, if anything, made her seem even prettier and approachable than usual.
Using the thumb and forefinger of her left hand, she pulled the corners of her lips down. Stared in the mirror a little longer to make sure it stayed gone. Then put the mirror away, and felt it creeping back onto her face when it thought she wouldn't notice. Stop that. Cut that out. She did it again. Nabiki physically forced herself to stop smiling. There! That did it! She sighed in relief.
"That poor unfortunate wretch..." Kuno muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Nabiki asked. "Was it another comment about me? You're feeling brave today, Kuno-baby."
"I recognise that sigh all too well," Kuno sniffed. "It is the sound of a maiden in love. Why, I can barely think of a more pure and honest way to punish some poor wretch, than to have him become the focus of your twisted affections."
He stopped for a moment and then went utterly rigid. Then, after slowly turning around to face her, said the following with a voice full of sheer terror and panic: "My dear Nabiki Tendo, I am of course flattered that you would notice the irresistible charm of the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, but my heart in truth belongs to your sister and the pigtailed girl, there is no room in it for another! I know this will pain you greatly, but -"
Nabiki interrupted him at this point to slap him with her textbook. "No, dummy. The boy I'm thinking about is -"
Which is when she noticed the attention of the other students in class. If she were her little sister, she'd shut up and slink down in her seat, hoping and praying that they stopped paying her any mind. However, she was not her little sister. She was Nabiki Tendo, the Ice Queen of Furinkan.
"That's right!" she said loudly enough that they could all hear clearly. "I have a boyfriend. His name is Ukyo Kuonji, perhaps you've heard of him?"
"Ukyo Kuonji?" she heard one of the boys whisper. "Man... doesn't he already own his own business?"
"Ooh, she's so lucky!" a girl complained, perhaps a trifle louder than they had intended. "He's a total dreamboat. Oof, those Tendo sisters get all the good ones."
"I hear he's friends with Akane's fiance," a boy remarked. Yep. The gossip mill was in full on overdrive now. "That must be how they met."
"You think if we became friends with Ranma and Ukyo, they'd introduce us to that smoking hot redhead?"
Drumming her fingers on her desk, Nabiki quirked an eyebrow. Well, for once she could sincerely thank the buffoon sitting in front of her. He'd accidentally provided the perfect opportunity for her to milk the rumours and gossip for all they were worth.
- Ukyo sets out Operation: Knucklehead.
- Meanwhile, Akane is being baffled by the stupid thing that Ranma is doing.
- The gossip has unintended consequences that Nabiki couldn't see coming.
- Kuno isn't sure how he feels about Nabiki and Ukyo dating. Is it a good thing, or a bad thing?
- Something else
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