Story: Pride and Joy

 

Ah, Hikaru Gosunkugi. In a cast full of punching bags, he's the one that's easiest to lay into for various reasons. He's the epitome of 'the nail that sticks out gets hammered down'. Except, he doesn't actually stick out at all, does he? The boy is notorious for slipping into the background, he's scenery, he's practically furniture.

He's also kind of a creep. Even among the creeps, and it's not just his creepy look. Which is creepy enough. Rake thin, eyes which look like there's eyeshadow on them, but there really, really isn't. No, really there isn't. He stalks around with a posture that reeks of lacking confidence, his eyes are big and wide, his hair is given the bare minimum care, the guy's like the walking equivalent of a voodoo doll.

His personality is somehow worse.

He's shy, he's withdrawn, and like about half of the named male characters in the series, he's got a big, big crush on Akane Tendo, which in turn leads him to a point in common with about 75% of the named male characters in the series - he hates Ranma Saotome.

Rather than simply admiring Akane Tendo from afar, he spies on her, collects information about her, resorts to black magic and curses, and tries to manipulate situations without ever confronting people directly. He's one of the few recurring rivals who almost never challenges Ranma Saotome openly. He prefers indirect attacks, voodoo dolls, rituals, hidden cameras, or elaborate schemes. Even in a series where everyone's behavior is exaggerated, his methods feel particularly invasive.

The irony is that he's also incredibly timid. His occult hobby gives him the illusion of power precisely because he has so little confidence in ordinary social interactions. He isn't the kind of bully who enjoys dominating people; he's someone who feels powerless and reaches for secret, underhanded means instead.

That's why he's such an easy punching bag. He might well be physically weak, but he also kinda sorta has it coming. 

Anyway, he's normally a non-entity because as much of a creep as he is, he's also mostly harmless. His tricks and traps are as transparent as glass, and he's normally about as threatening as a victoria sponge cake. Now, though? Well, now he'd found out about Ranma's enormous brainbusting dick, with which he had acquired Akane Tendo, her sisters, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi as his own personal fucktoys.

Naturally, he wanted some of that. Actually, if he could, he'd rather like to break one off in Ranma's girl form for good measure. Thus, he'd done his research. He'd found out about the Dragon's Whisker, mostly by blending into the background and listening to what they were talking about as they fucked each other nice and deep.

And then he'd done something even he didn't think he could. He'd found some. He'd eaten some. How had he managed that? No fucking clue. He'd no sooner arrived in China than he'd run into a salesman who was all too happy to push the stuff onto him. He actually had no less than five - yes, five - strips of the stuff. As a precaution, he'd eaten one - 

And then couldn't walk for something like a day. Guy has no strength to him, you think he was carrying junk like this around? He wound up losing his virginity when room service arrived. Luckily she was young and hot, but not too young, and she drained his balls enough that he was actually able to walk again. After about a week. During which he met all her hot friends and cousins who were led to the room one at a time, and - let's just say that she had a very big family.

Believe it or not, in the space of that one week Hikaru Gosunkugi had about twice as much sex as Ranma did. Yes, really. His harem is about three times the size already, and he still has four strips of the stuff left.

His plan had been simplicity itself. Lure Ranma and Akane alone. Hot threesome. Then profit. He'd be riding the Ice Queen, dominating the hot Joktsuzoku, claiming Kasumi and, he supposed, laying pipe to Kodachi in no time flat.

That was the theory, but in practise, he was about to be a problem solver for them. You see, he had been planted in that there courtyard like a dumbass tree, and much like a dumbass tree he had his pecker out for all to see. He rose, he groaned, he rubbed at his head.

"No matter," he sighed. "The Zhang twins were both man hating lesbians before they got a look at this, and they couldn't tear themselves away. Soon enough they'll -"

"Ahem!"

Really, he should have noticed sooner. People, in a crowd, are not quiet. It's literally impossible. Even if every single person were trying to stay silent, once you had ten or so people gathered together there would still be shuffling feet, rustling clothes, someone clearing their throat, someone breathing a little too loudly, the noises accumulate and it becomes very obvious there's a lot of people there. That's even before you get to things like shadows on the ground being cast over him.

The shadows of every single girl in school that was not a part of Ranma's harem already. Staring right at Hikaru Gosunkugi.

"Uh, hi girls?" he said, waving at them. Not with his hands, with his junk. Oh. Oh dear. That was... that was a lot of girls looking right at it. He gulped nervously. "If you'd all line up orderly, I'll -"

He was tackled to the ground by one girl, who was then pulled off by another three. This wasn't a situation like in a movie where everyone lines up one at a time and goes for him, this was outright chaos. Anarchy. Even the so called hentai horde hadn't been so ravenous as this.

You have to understand. If you gave these girls the choice between riding that shaft for one second and breathing for the next half hour, they'd have to think about it. Really think about it, long and hard and with lots of girth to boot.

"Mine!"

"Dibs!"

"Fuck right off, do you have any idea how bad I need this?!"

And so he finds himself in the very beating heart of the situation that many imagine would be heaven. Literally being fought over by all the girls of the school. For a moment, he thought that he might be able to slip away in the confusion - but no, alas, they were too canny for that and they dragged his ass back in, fingernails raking the dirt.

"Nooooo!" he wailed. "It wasn't meant to be like -"

His heart stopped for a moment there, as he saw two boys lingering nearby. It was, of course, Ranma's two friends. Hiroshi and Daisuke.

"My locker!" Gosunkugi called out, as the fighting over him continued apace. "Quickly! Please! The combination! It's 444!"

"... Of course it is," Daisuke muttered.

"So why should we -"

"There's a magic item in there that gives men enormous hogs!"

The two of them were gone before he'd even finished the sentence. Did he have any idea what he had unleashed upon Furinkan? Probably not. Did he give a fuck?

Given that, right now, his head was pinned between the hips of two girls struggling to get at his member, all signs are pointing to 'no'.