Guys, I know this will be hard to believe, but Tatewaki Kuno is getting laid. I know, right? It's not even Nabiki for a change. It's - Yeah, it's Mariko. Of course, it's Mariko. I mean, she's the only girl in the setting that's shown a genuine interest in him that isn't born of 'shit, he has something I want' or 'Dammit, we need this asshole to sort out this weird issue'.
At the moment, he was flat on his back while Mariko was bouncing on top of him, wearing just her cheerleader skirt, while her pompoms were hooked together on a string and slung around her neck so that they covered her breasts. Barely. Her hands were twirling around batons so fast they were leaving after images.
"I have to admit," Kuno said, while his hands roamed her delectable figure. "You're not my normal type. Normally, I find the strong-willed ladies more appealing than -"
"Puhleaze~" Mariko happily chirped. "All boys wanna bang cheerleaders. It's, like, a rule. You can't keep your hands off us. If we want a piece of you, then we're getting a piece of you."
No argument on his end. Indeed, Tatewaki Kuno had always found himself allured to the strong-willed, some might even say tomboyish sort. A ditzy, airheaded, mean bitch cheerleader? Not his usual style. She was far too girly, far too obvious, never mind that she was cute as a button, had a nice slim waist, and an overall amazing figure, and her legs were works of art.
"L-O-V-E!" she chanted like a magic spell. Kuno groaned, eyes drawn to her twirling batons. "That's the reason, like, cheerleaders always get their M-A-N!"
Indeed, he was truly mesmerised by her. That cuteness, that rotation on her batons, the devious little smirk on her face as if she knew something that he didn't...
"Guys all have their T-Y-P-E!" Mariko cheered once again. "But there's, like, something magical about the cheerleader, right? The hot little minx wearing such a spicy outfit. Flexible, nimble, got a lot of stamina, super duper easy on the E-Y-E-S!"
Kuno groaned, unable to believe this woman. She'd lured him into bed so easily. He'd intended to wine her and dine her first before they went this far, but already they were - already the two of them were being intimate like this!
"Mmmm, it's a good thing that sakura mochi spell brought us together sooner, eh?" Mariko giggled. "I wasn't, like, meant to meet you for another couple of weeks, according to the boss~"
The boss...? What did she mean by -
The batons fell in front of his eyes, and Tatewaki Kuno found himself lying back, getting fucked in the body and fucked in the brain, both at the same time. Ah. Ah! Ah! He felt so giddy all of a sudden. All he could do now was lie there, while Mariko lay atop him, rutting away without a seeming care.
"One, two, three, four!" she chanted, almost sounding like a parody of a cheerleader routine. "You are mine forevermore! Five, six, seven, eight! Our relationship is fate!"
Do you know, this is normally where this narrator would say something like 'turns out things weren't turning up for him after all', but really, if you think about it? Being brainwashed by a super cute cheerleader who is super into you, and is using sex to control the brainwashing?
That's not really a terrible fate. I dunno about the rest of you, but I'd sign up for that in an instant. In fact, it's such a hot concept that it's almost making me miss out on the importantrtant point raised from this little scene.
Who the hell is the boss?
=====
Could there possibly be more of a contrast between two Japanese women than Nodoka Saotome and Hinako Ninomiya? Soun wasn't entirely sure it was possible. Alas, it was a matter he would have to contend with on his own, while Genma lay in the garden playing with a tire he'd acquired from -
Best not to think about it, Soun old boy, toss that question into the river of denial, alongside the fact that Ranma was banging all three of your daughters, knew they were sharing him, further knew that they were sharing him with three other girls, and that you were pretty sure Ranma was also banging that Hibiki boy via his girl form and -
"It's so nice to meet the pair of you," Soun said. "Receiving two guests at the same time like this, for such disparate yet compelling reasons." Soun didn't know why Genma was staying away from his wife like this. In all honesty, Soun would do all manner of things to be able to see his wife again, so the behaviour of his old friend was rubbing him the wrong way a bit. "You, to find your son and husband - "
"Mostly my son," Nodoka politely interrupted. Genma let out a small wail. "Oh dear, did your pet panda hurt itself with that tire?"
"Probably," Soun said. Then did nothing else about it. "And you, my dear, your life was saved when you were very young because of... Our old master, the most perverted old man in all of Japan, the dreaded panty thief, flipper of skirts, the man with no concept of personal shame having sacrificed it for boundless martial arts ability, the most pure incarnation of evil I have yet borne witness to in my long, storied life -"
"Happosai, yes!" Hinako said, beaming brightly while thunder rolled from not too far away. "Bu~ut, while I'm here... I'd like to get to know you a bit better..."
"Ahem," Nodoka gently coughed into her hand. "Would you like me to make you some tea? I would hate to be a third wheel. I am only really here to meet up with my son, after all, and keeping myself busy would take me out of your hair and help the time pass by."
"I like my tea sweet~" Hinako chirped happily. Soun sensed danger in his near future. Tremendous danger, the sort that could end up with a gross misunderstanding. The way this H was looking at her right now -
"Ah, but would you not like to hear more about your son?" Soun said, right as Nodoka was rising to her feet. "He's quite the remarkable man."
"Yes, I do suppose that I would like to hear about that..." Nodoka said. Soun let out a sigh of relief, but it didn't last long. Hinako pulled a coin out of... somewhere, aimed it at Genma, and the next thing he knew he had a tall, leggy, busty beauty sitting in his lap. "What is my dear Rarnma like? Is he a man among men?"
Soun thought for a moment about all of the girls in pursuit of the young man. He thought of the Jusenkyo curse. He thought of the crippling ailurophobia. He thought about the time Ranma had used a new martial arts technique, the soul of ice, to keep himself calm enough to dress up his girl form in girly underwear.
"He might well be the most heroic and naturally gifted martial artist I've ever seen," Soun said. "Ah, you know about the arrangement, yes?"
"You mean, the engagement?" Nodoka asked while Soun tried everything he could to ignore the extremely hot leggy leggy so long legs legs legs legs legs legs sitting in his lap awakening a brand new feeling in him, legs, legs, legs, legs! "Genma never told me about it, per se, but I did fiend something he'd drunkenly written just the other day. When he stopped sending letters to keep me informed of Ranma's progress, I had feared the worst - then today, I found myself in the area, strolling in the direction of your marvelous dojo - and here we are!"
"Aha, well!" Soun laughed. "Ranma does take after you quite a bit. I can see much of both you and Genma in him!"
"It's such a relief," Nodoka said while unbundling her mystery wrapping. Revealing a sword. A pristine blade. One that looked razor sharp and carefully honed. "If he truly is a man among men, then I shall have no need to have him and Genma commit seppuku, as per our arrangement."
Hinako stopped giving Soun a lapdance for a little bit - by which we mean, she stopped actively squirming and stared at the sword, much as Soun was.
"Oh shit," Hinako whispered. "I hope for Ranma's sake, you weren't exaggerating?"
"Not at all, he's a fine young man!" Soun said
"Didn't leave out anything to make it a bit misleading?" Hinako asked. "Oldest trick in politics, don't talk about the things that disprove your point, or downplay them into oblivion."
Soun audibly gulped, while behind him Genma performed a passable impersonation of The Scream.
"Hey, we're home!" Ranma's voice called out. And, of course, it was his girl form. Ohhhh nooooo!
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