Sticking around any longer than that seemed like a bad plan, so Rarnma and Akane quickly noped out of there before things escalated further. Hard to blame them, really. Most of the time they didn't even have the option. Bad and weird stuck to them like a bad odour, so being able to walk away for once and let someone else deal with the chaos they'd caused? Priceless.
"Thank goodness that's over with," Akane sighed. She stretched out her arms while hovering next to Ranma, who was walking on a fence. He still wasn't quiet used to this. Her being able to fly like that meant they were up at the same level, and if he was being honest, he liked walking up here because he could still talk to her while not actually looking directly at her. "That Mendo guy will stop messing with them now, after a mess like that. Right?"
Ranma pointedly looked away. She was smiling. That was a dangerous smile. Especially when she was out and about in a tiger print bikini like that! It was practically more dangerous than her fists, which were plenty dangerous as it was.
"Ranma?"
Especially now that she could charge them up with electricity, and... you know, that flying ability could probably let her do some wild things with her centre of mass. Wind it up properly and -
"Ranma!"
Zap! Right to the base of the neck! It wasn't even a hard zap, more a ticklish one, but now he had an irate Oni tomboy glaring at him from close, close, too close, this was kissing range, eek!
"Come on, aren't you happy this is over with?" she sniffed.
"Eh, but is it really?" Ranma asked, tugging nervously at his pigtail. He put his hands behind his head and looked up. Away from her. "I mean, a guy like Mendo's rich enough that he could put that together, right? What's stopping him from trying something else? Maybe he goes after your family next?"
"Not to worry!" Yipe! Where had Lum come from?! "I'm already way ahead of ya! Tee hee, we'll take care of him without any trouble at all!"
=====
So. Here he was. Soun Tendo. Sitting in an opulent living room that was bigger than his entire property. Worth noting, his property was actually a decent size. Fairly large for a modern Japanese family. And this was only their living room. Gulp! How nervous he felt right now, sitting in the home of the Mendo family! One of the richest, wealtihest, most deeply connected families living in the Nerima area! They could buy Furinkan district if they had the whim. Their power and influence was astronomical.
But at the same time it was a pale shade of the power wielded by the figures sitting next to him. The towering, laughing figure of and honest to goodness alien. Lum's father, with her mother sitting on the other side of him. Gosh, the difference between Oni men and women was quite fascinating to behold. Was that how Ten would turn out when he grew up?
"Bwahahahaha, nice place ya got here!" Lum's father laughed uproariously. Mister Invader looked every bit the Oni that his daughter did not. A large man with reddish skin wearing a tiger printed suit, he had a rather large underbite and of course his horns were extremely prominent atop his head. "You humans sure know how to comfort guests, eh?"
The Mendos were sitting opposite them. Nervously sweating. It must be a rare thing for them to encounter someone more rich and powerful than themselves. Indeed, Mister and Missus Invader each owned a whole planet by themselves, and had entire continents on others. They weren't called the "Invaders" for no reason! These two could trivially buy Earth, the moon, and probably every planet from Mercury to Saturn as well. In that respect, despite being quite well off himself, Soun felt rather small compared to the other four he was sitting with currently.
"It's always a pleasure to meet the parents of our son's friends," Mister Mendo said. It was astounding how charismatic this man could be when he wanted to. His wife was too busy fanning herself for Soun to get a good read on her, but she seemed every bit as nervous as he. She leaned into him and whispered something indistinct. "Yes, yes, of course. Quite so, my dear."
"Fb V urne lbhe fba'f n yvggyr ovgpu, naq ur'f orra ovgpuvat ng zl qnhtugre'f sevraqf," Lum's mother said. Ah. Hrm. Well then. If his remembrance of the Oni language was right, then that was quite the statement. "Nyfb, ur'f orra creivat ba ure yvxr n ubeal gbnq. Bayl Ngneh vf nyybjrq gb qb gung. V rkcrpg znal, znal tenaqpuvyqera sebz gurz obgu naq jvyy abg shpxvat npprcg guvf gbzsbbyrel sebz lbhe yvggyr ovgpu bs n fba."
All of a sudden, Soun felt faint. She was going for the jugular today.
"Hahahaha!" Mister Invader laughed like a lunatic. "My wife has such a wild sense of humour."
"Vs lbhe fba gevrf fbzrguvat jvgu zl qnhtugre ntnva V jvyy pnfgengr uvz naq fgnoyr uvf travgnyf gb uvf sberurnq," Mrs Invader said, sweet as sugar.
"Oh yes? Might we share the joke as well...?" Mister Mendo asked.
"I don't think Oni humour translates well into Japanese," Soun said. "Ahahaha, you know how it is when you're doing a cultural exchange. Ahem! Ahem! In any event, I believe that there was something more specific you wanted to say...?"
"Ah, Soun! Always right to the point, eh?" Mister Invader grinned down at him. Making him feel rather green, yet again. "Yep, yep! I heard from my daughter, y'know, that your son -" He stopped a moment as his wife seemed about to say something, but he quickly and delicately put a finger to her lips. "Your son has been expressing a big interest in local cuisine of late! Hah! I think your Earth food is a bit bland for our tastebuds, but like Soun says - different cultures, am I right?"
Nervous laughter from all humans flowed throughout the room.
"I even heard he had a contest, involving some friends of Soun's future son in law, how nice of him to invite them!" Mister Invader said. He flashed his teeth with this next grin. It was like a rorschach test, you'd see in it what you wanted to see. Was he happy, or was he threatening? "Of course, we Oni love a good contest, don't we dear?"
"Vs V unq zl jnl lbhe fba jbhyq or va punvaf naq uryq hc nf na rknzcyr bs jul lbh fubhyqa'g pebff bhe xvaq."
"Ahahahaha! That's her wild sense of humour again! Bwahahahahaha!"
Soun laughed if only because otherwise he'd be too scared to do anything. Oh. But here, the door was opening, and in stepped the young man himself. A fine and strapping lad. It was hard to believe that he'd caused such trouble for Ranma's friends. Of course, Soun did feel a little complicated about that. Both Ukyo and Shampoo were rivals working against his own plans to marry Ranma and Akane (or any of his daughters really), but at the same time it was a blatant attempt to needle Ranma himself, in an unfair and underhanded manner.
That second part rankled Soun's soul as a martial artist, and so he forced himself to look beneath the surface, and -
"Greetings, Mister and Missus Invader," Shutaro Mendo bowed very slightly. "It is a pleasure to meet the parents of the wonderful and beautiful Lum -"
"Hrm, Lum said I oughta do this if he showed up..." Mister Invader said, right at that moment. He produced a bell and rang it. Shutaro dashed out of the room, and then returned a moment later with a tray full of food.
"Here sir, your - "
Clong! His mother slapped the back of his head hard enough that it almost sounded like another bell had been rung. She whispered in her husband's ear, and he nodded along.
"Yes, yes... It's quite unseemly for a Mendo to behave in such a servile manner," he said. "Hrm, yes, perhaps we should make Ryoko the heir instead... Ah, by the way, where is your sister?"
"She is playing with her new friend," Shutaro said. "The two of them are creating a great deal of mischief together. Her and that <i>Nabiki</i>..."
"Nabiki? Ah, my middle daughter?" Soun asked. "She hadn't mentioned making a new friend." Especially one as rich as this.
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