Sunday, 3 September 2017

Story: Double Trouble


Guh, he couldn't believe this. Being dragged through the street by his new fiancee off towards the local clinic to get a minor injury looked at. "It doesn't hurt that much," he protested, to which Akane responded with the dreaded Fingerpoke of Agony. Ooh, what had he done to deserve this!

Couldn't she tell that they could all see them right now? Everyone at school, everyone they passed in the street could see them holding hands. Trouble was, her grip was like a vice and more to the point every time he tried to wriggle free, there came another fingerpoke right on cue!

"Uncute," he stuck out his tongue.

"Immature!" she turned around and stuck out hers.

Ooh, he was really starting to see it now! This is why he was going to get so much stronger, wasn't it? Having to put up with a chick like her was bound to test how much stress he could take! Ranma planted his feet, coming to a full stop which caught Akane completely off guard. She jerked his arm reflexively, but he was way stronger than her and so he stayed put. Trouble is, Akane wasn't exactly weak either. You don't get to punch through bricks without a fair amount of muscle mass in your arms, and she was no exception to this. All that 'tug' she'd just given had to go somewhere, and since Ranma didn't budge that meant it had to go right back into the 'tugee', Akane herself.

That's why Akane inexplicably whirled around, colliding into Ranma's chest. This force was sufficient to knock him over a little, forcing her to catch the small of his back to keep him from toppling over completely and for him to grasp her shoulder to keep himself steady. It was only the second after they'd stabilised their position that the two of them realised two facts simultaneously.

Number one: The two of them had posed themselves in an ideal dip, just with the gender positions flipped around.

Number two: Their faces were really, really close to one another right now. All it would take is for one of them to stumble, just slightly, and then... It would be Ranma's first...And those lips did look nice. The tip of Akane's tongue stuck out, just for a little, but this time it looked so deliciously cute.

Then there was a camera flash, and the two separated from each other as if they'd just noticed the other's clothing had caught fire. Meanwhile, the little boy with a toy camera laughed and skipped away.

"That didn't mean anything," Ranma protested. "We weren't about to kiss or nothing."

"Right!" Akane agreed.  "That was just an accident. You're not getting a taste until you grow up a little."

"Right!" Ranma agreed. Then his brain went 'wait, was that an insult, or an implication she's interested?' He glanced sidelong at her and found Akane twiddling her thumbs and blushing up a storm. Ranma thought back to a moment ago, and then his heart made a funny sound in his chest. Badump! Badump!

"Oh... Ranma... I should probably mention something," Akane suddenly said.

"Y-yeah?" Ranma asked. He was sweating. He hadn't done anything much, but he was sweating up a storm. What could Akane want to mention at a time like this? His brain conjured up all sorts of weird images: Maybe she'd decided that it had meant something, and that she did want to k-k-ki-ki-ki-

Or maybe she wanted to explain what she meant by her comment just now about him 'growing up a little'. Given her behaviour so far it was impossible to tell, and something about that unpredictability was setting butterflies of anticipation fluttering in Ranma's stomach.

"This is the clinic right here. We should head inside."

Face, meet pavement. By the time he was done with Furinkan Ranma felt as though the two of them would be quite close friends. Akane grabbed hold of Ranma's pigtail and dragged him inside, not exactly a dignified entrance but what can you do?

"Honestly, there's no need to pout. Doctor Tofu is an amazing doctor." After Akane said that, Ranma rolled his eyes. "It's true though! He's a wizard with his fingers. Why, I've had my nose broken three times, and he's reset it every single time so that you can't even tell!"

"... Maybe you should stop doing whatever it was that was getting your nose broken?" Ranma suggested. Though actually, that was pretty impressive. Her nose showed absolutely no sign of being put out of place or any kind of injury or scar... Actually, none of Akane's features had any kind of embellishment you would expect from a lifelong martial artist.

"We'll see if you crack wise after you meet the man himself! He's charming, personable and really mature. You could learn a thing or a hundred from him about how to properly behave! Maybe if you were half the man he was instead of an immature little boy... Doctor Tofu, hello?"

Strangely, there was nobody at the clinic. There was an overturned chair as though someone had left in a hurry, magazines on the floor. No sign of a receptionist. It was strange, but somehow... Ranma had the distinct impression that something terrible happened here.

For once he was completely and totally correct, with the sole exception in the use of past tense.

"Uh oh..." Akane nervously said. She backed away towards the door. "She must have been here a little while ago."

"She?" Ranma asked. "She who?"

"Ka-Su-Mi..."

Huh, how strange. That sounded like it had come from above them. All of a sudden, Ranma's danger sense was overwhelmed by something dropping down from up above. Akane screamed, and Ranma grabbed hold of her to keep her safe - Then everything went dark.

<hr>
In his time, Ranma Saotome had gone through numerous harrowing experiences. Most recently, he had fought a being which could produce flames so hot they could burn through mountains. He had fought a giant nine headed dragon. He had fought someone who knew his best techniques better than he did, and whose battle aura was sufficient to also bring down a mountain. He'd fought a boy his own age who used the yama-sen-ken which translated to the thousand mountain path...

Gosh but mountains featured quite a lot in his troubled past.

Anyway, the point of it was that he would rather tackle all of those, plus Pantyhose Taro, Rouge, Happosai, Luckyosai, Cologne and - worst of all of these - that stupid damned ghost cat one after the other rather than endure this experience, this living hell, a second time.

"Now, it's never too early to learn how to change diapers," Kasumi smiled serenely at the pair of them. She held up a pair and a doll. "So, watch me carefully and then both of you copy. Both of you need to learn in case the other isn't available.

Though he was seated there, holding hands with the girl he'd decided to marry and both of them were smiling, inside of his head this future version of Ranma Saotome was screaming.


  1. On learning who Ranma is, Doctor Tofu decides it's his mission to make him a suitable candidate for Kasumi's future husband.
  2. Tofu does not learn who Ranma is, instead electing to rant about the unfairness of it all to the two of them.
  3. Ryoga arrives at the Tendo dojo, looking to pick a fight with Ranma. Never in his life has Ranma been so pleased to see the pig-boy.
  4. Soun and/or Genma discover Kasumi's lessons and leaps to conclusions.
  5. Something else

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