Story: UY First Impressions

I feel like writing a bunch this weekend. Let's see how far that takes me.


It is often remarked that great minds think alike, sometimes sarcastically, other times literally. Obviously this is rarely actually the case. Great minds are great minds because they don’t quite think like everybody else. Sometimes you will find an instance where two particular people come up with the same idea on similar timescales, but it’s quite often that the two of them are simply working from a similar starting baseline: The work of the same former great mind(s). That’s not to say that certain kinds of minds can’t share the same kind of thought, but great minds are probably among the rarest.

An example of another kind of mind that often thinks alike could be seen here as two perverts attempted to negotiate with one another without revealing exactly how much they really wanted to bone the other. Which was a lot. As in, if it were to take material form it would exert a significant gravitational force, though it must be remarked that a gravitational force generated by mutual lust would surely -

Never mind that. This is a tangent. Let us return to the real meat of the point, namely -

“The nerve of them,” was a thought going through both of their minds at once. “I thought the other night meant something to them, and here they are acting like a jackass.”

“If you think you’ve hit on a surefire way to get me into bed, you’ve got another thing coming!” Lum declared, turning up her nose.

“What, you think that’s all I’m up to?” Ataru asked, leaning back in his chair. “Another quick lay while the world is in jeopardy from these awful, evil aliens? A man’s got some responsibilities, you know!”

“Oh? Evil aliens, are we?”

“If the shoe fits,” Ataru replied. “I mean. You’re called Oni, you come to our planet with the intention of invading and give us only one shot of keeping you back. Then you cheat by flying off. Sounds pretty darn evil to - Mph!”

“Sorry, what was that?” Lum said through gritted teeth. “It was hard to make out, what with the way my boot appears to be fitting into your mouth!”

“Stubborn idiot! If only they weren’t so stubborn and admitted what they wanted, I would so tap that right here, right now!” both thought at nearly the same time.

“Plegh!” Ataru spat, once he’d been able to extricate the foot out of his mouth. In a literal sense. Not so much a metaphorical one. That would take surgery that hasn’t been invented yet, anywhere in the universe. “Sounds to me like you’d rather have a slave than a boyfriend or a lover. If you weren’t so hot, I’d be gone right now.”

For a moment, Lum didn’t say anything. True enough. She knew she was hot. She knew it, she worked it, she lived it. But… Well. After being in an extended relationship with Rei it was something she wasn’t quite used to hearing. So, she could maybe be forgiven for it throwing her off balance a little bit. Until she realised that was probably an intentional attempt to get her to lower her guard so he could easily get an advantage in the game.

At which point she became rather furious. Toy with her emotions, would he? Electricity began to spark around her and she levitated clear off the chair, hovering towards Ataru with death in her eyes. The boy actually did look a little worried for a moment there as she pulled him to his feet.

“I see what you’re after,” Lum said. “An advantage in the game, and a fun little throwdown with the sexy alien chick. Well! I should probably forgive a backwards primitive for not understanding such a superior and advanced culture -”

“A superior and advanced culture, is it?” Ataru replied, his eyes lighting up with rage and frustration instead of fear. “What sorta culture has all that technology and uses it for bullshit like playing tag for a world’s freedom?”

She was practically sitting in his lap now, not that either of them noticed the fact. Both of them were so caught up in the freshly heated argument to notice how close they were getting to one another. Passions rising. Proximity shortening. Libidos stalking their unprepared minds, ready to pounce and seize control at a moment’s notice.

“Idiot!” one yelled.

“Fool!” the other retorted.

“Arrogant jerk!”

And then, just like that, the pounce. It caught them completely off guard. One moment they’d been yelling at one another, their angry faces growing closer and closer without either being consciously aware of it until, finally, their lips touched. At first it was a bit of a shock to them both, not least because Lum was still causing a little bit of lightning to spark through the air. But after the shock had passed only a single pair of words passed through their heads simultaneously: “Fuck it.”

So Lum’s arms ensnared Ataru’s head just as his circled her back. Their clothes vanished to every corner of the room in a flurry of motions, and before long Lum was lying with her back on the table and Ataru lying atop her. The two of them carefully guided themselves along, and -

And it was like magic. None of the clumsiness from before. They were as a well-oiled machine. Moving as one. Enthralled by the other. Lost within the moment, Ataru marvelling at the feeling of Lum’s breasts in his hands even as she felt her nipples harden at his caress. This was it! This was what they had been wanting for so long! Each struggled to be the one on top, staying there for a short moment of heaven before the other tipped them over and ensured the experience was ever changing, ever shifting, ever enjoyable and ever intoxicating.

“Two minutes, fifty-nine seconds,” Benten observed, smugly holding a stopwatch. “Looks like ya won the bet.”

“Indeed,” Oyuki said. She shrugged her shoulders, and looked down at her already nude body. A shame, she thought, for she'd been practicing that very kind of shrug to make her robes slide off her body to the ground by 'accident'. Oh well. Always tomorrow. “I think it might be best to take out your wager now, if you wouldn’t mind. The two of them are perhaps too preoccupied to notice.”

“Really?” Benten asked, craning her neck for a quick look. “I was thinkin’ maybe when they finished we could talk ’em into a foursome…”

“Now, Benten,” Oyuki firmly said, tugging on the biker girl’s arm. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

“Ahem? The terms of our wager?”

“… Whatever you say, mistress.”

“Better.”

1. After a few hours of screwing, Ataru and Lum discuss things with a bit of a clearer head.
2. Shinobu pays Ataru a visit and finds the tunnel.
3. The next day, things take a turn for the unexpected.
4. You know, it may be worth checking in on what Benten and Oyuki are up to.
5. Something else