Why is it that the worst ideas always come from seemingly good ideas? Ah, that seems like one of those philosophical rants that writers who are particularly up themselves might start a scene with in an ill-fitting attempt to set the tone for the scene or something along those lines.
Ahem.
Anyway, the more serious answer before we move on. It's simple if you think about it. Of course, the worst ideas that we see the results of come from ideas that seem like good ideas. If an idea seems like a bad idea - the person that had it simply won't do it. Right? There must be an undercurrent of logic behind it; otherwise, why bother? Classic survival bias, right?
Speaking of survival, let's look in on Wiz, shall we? Ah, Wiz, possibly the most alluring lich in fiction. A true proprietor of ara ara energy, the likes of which aren't seen anywhere else in the setting. She's tall, she's got large breasts, a cute face, a truly woobie demeanour, and she also sells items that really, when you get right down to it, she probably shouldn't.
But it felt like a good idea. See how we tie that back?
"Ah, it's been quiet today..." Wiz sighed, kicking at her heels. "I wonder what's going on out -"
Crash! The door was suddenly open, and there was a foot where it had been a moment ago. Said foot was promptly followed by Chris, a local thief that Wiz had seen here and there about town, and she was carrying -
Ah. Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear. Wasn't that the orb that Megumin and Yunyun had left with? Wiz stared at it for a moment before feeling a strangely intense source of divine energy start to radiate out from -
"Oh dear," she said right before the magic took her. "I'm weak to divine -"
Flash! Just like that, the connection was made. Before Chris had even said a word, she'd accidentally made herself and Wiz into absolute, total besties.
That's not going to have any negative effects at all on things, now is it?
"Hey there, best friend!" Chris said, rushing in to hug Wiz, giving her a nice, deep, deep hug. "I found something super weird, and thought of you!"
"Eh, mind your phrasing please...?" Wiz asked, but she wasn't quite as nervous as she might be if someone else had randomly rushed in to hug her. Such is the power of the Friendship Orb, capable of making even Wiz open to being touched.
Fortunately, Chris had a bit more restraint than Aqua, so she wasn't actually flooding someone she knew was undead with divine energy. She'd merely accidentally superpowered the Friendship Orb with it, which, of course, meant that it was now capable of affecting Wiz, where normally her own innate magical resistance would have rendered it unable to affect her at all.
"So, what can you tell me about it?" Chris asked.
"Oh, this orb?" Wiz asked. "Yes, it's the Friendship Orb. It induces close, personal friendships between two people."
"Like you and me?" Chris asked.
"That's right!" Wiz replied. "Of course, there is a risk that if we destroy it, or undo its magic, that we would no longer be the very best of best friends."
"I don't want to not be the very best of best friends with you..." Chris pouted. "But I'm also very sure that this orb is causing a whole lot of trouble out there."
"That's no good!" Wiz gasped. But then she frowned and tapped at her chin. "But that's strange, the orb was definitely destroyed. Reduced to powder. How did it reform?"
"Huh, that is weird..." Chris mused, rolling on her heels a bit. "Megumin and Yunyun had it. Maybe it was exposed to some sort of healing magic, and that repaired it?"
"Um, no, I'm pretty sure that healing magic should not work on something like this..." Wiz said. "In fact, that's not how this should work at all... Let me see this."
She pulled out a magical microscope and took a better, closer look at it. How in the world had this thing reformed? She hadn't repaired it. She had just finished mopping up the -
"Oh!" she gasped. "It seems that all the molecules that made up the orb, are also quite close friends, so they stayed in touch and reconnected magically."
"... That's actually a little bit scary if you think about it," Chris said. "So you're saying that the magic of this orb was able to cause such an intense friendship with its own matter, that it reconstituted itself?"
"Yes, that does seem to be what's happened," Wiz said, then turned to look at Chris - and pointedly looked down. "Um. Chris?"
"Yes, best friend?" Chris asked.
"Was your bust always so...?"
The answer to that question, for those wondering, is 'no'. Chris is actually quite flat chested, as it happens. Really cute butt, cute face, nice legs, nice waistline, but no boobs to speak of. Given that she is, in fact, the Goddess Eris, and Aqua routinely mocks her for using pads to make herself seem... bigger, it's something of a running joke, you see?
And, by the way, Eris really doesn't actually do much to hide her identity if you think to look for it for a second. No hair colour change, hairstyle is the same, it's all clothes, personality, a little scar or mark on Chris's face, and the sheer bloody audacity that a Goddess might so brazenly disguise herself as a common thief.
Also the boobs. The boobs were a pretty big part of the disguise. Even if Eris herself might claim otherwise.
That was no longer the case. Now, her chest was on par with Wiz, and as previously discussed? Boing, boing, nice big booba! That might not be as erudite as you might expect from this writer, but all the same - there it is.
"Oh, that's interesting," Wiz said, carefully examining Chris's bust. "Very interesting. I wonder if this is a side effect of the Friendship Orb? After all, good friends do share things, and - "
She looked down and let out a sigh of great relief. She wasn't bereft of bust after all. Phew!
"Well, this is very generous of you," Chris said, "But it does rather beg the question. If I got these from you, did you get anything from -"
"Achoo!" Wiz sneezed, and suddenly her already fine, fine figure became, shall we say, a bit more slender. "Ehhh, my tummy feels weird. I really wanna show it off for some reason."
"Wow!" Chris gasped. "So, what's the explanation for this? Why did I get your boobs, and you got my waistline?"
"Hrm...?" Wiz mused. "It might be because the Orb is overloaded. I imagine Megumin probably got Yunyun's chest size, right?"
... Chris thought about it for a moment and... yeah, that about tracked. Megumin did seem a bit more stacked than normal, which had, admittedly, annoyed her almost as much as the -
Oh. That's right. She'd almost forgotten.
"The magibabble explanation for my enhanced chest can wait!" she suddenly said. "I came here for a reason! This thing has been causing all sorts of undue chaos out there! Megumin and Yunyun are trying to become friends with everyone!"
"Everyone!" Wiz gasped in total horror. "I mean, I do not mind being close friends with you, but - "
Chris quickly grabbed Wiz's hand and pulled her out of the store, her new, big boobs bouncing all over the place, and frankly, given how snug her tube top was, it's a miracle she didn't have a -
"Oops!"
Nip slip, right, there you go. Of course, of course she had to have one.
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