Story: Pretty Boy Ukyo

 

Ukyo slowly stirred, her consciousness and awareness returning in sluggish, painful waves. A heavy weight pressed against her chest, and another warm and soft limb was draped across her waist. 

She blinked herself fully awake. The ceiling was a faded, peeling yellow. This wasn't her bedroom. This wasn't the restaurant. Ukyo shifted, and a soft, rhythmic snoring vibrated against her shoulder. She turned her head slowly. Beside her, Konatsu lay in a state of absolute serenity, a small, peaceful smile on her lips, her breathing deep and steady. 

Then, Ukyo felt a sudden, sharp movement. A mop of bright, golden hair, tied into two absurdly long pigtails, shifted in her peripheral vision. 

Ukyo froze. She looked to her left. A girl was fast asleep, her mouth slightly open, a thin trail of drool escaping the corner of her lips. She looked like a doll, if that doll had been tossed haphazardly into a pile of laundry. She looked further. Another girl, with long, flowing blonde hair and a mischievous tilt to her sleeping face, was curled up like a cat, her arm flung over the first girl's stomach. And finally, there was the third. A girl with sleek, obsidian hair and a sharp, elegant profile, even in sleep. She was the only one who looked remotely composed, though her leg was currently hooked over Ukyo's ankle.

Ukyo's eyes widened. The memories of the previous night hit her like a battle spatula to the skull. The gay bar. The "kissing hour." The confusion of gender and orientation. The sheer, unadulterated chaos of the Jusenkyo curse.

"Oh, you've gotta be kiddin' me," Ukyo whispered.

"Mmm... is it breakfast time?"

The blonde girl with the pigtails stirred. She rubbed her eyes with the backs of her hands, yawning so wide her jaw practically clicked. She blinked up at Ukyo, her expression vacant for a few seconds before a slow, beaming smile spread across her face.

"Oh! Good morning, pretty!"

Ukyo recoiled, nearly rolling off the edge of the oversized bed. "Who the hell are you? Where are we?"

"I'm Usagi!" the girl chirped, though she paused, a flicker of hesitation crossing her face. "I mean - Usagi is my... cousin's name! I'm... Serena! Yeah! Serena! We met at the bar!"

Ukyo stared at her. The pigtails were a dead giveaway. The clumsiness of her movement as she tried to sit up and accidentally elbowed the girl next to her was even more telling.

"Ow!" the second blonde girl barked, snapping awake. She sat up with a sudden burst of energy, her blue eyes sparkling. "Morning, everyone! Wow, what a night! I can't remember if we actually danced or if we just talked about our favorite idols for three hours."

"You're the one who said you were a 'professional romantic' and tried to convince the bartender to give us free drinks in exchange for a poem," Ukyo recalled, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Oh yes, it was all starting to come back to her now.

The girl laughed, and it was a bright, melodic sound that sent a pleasant shudder down Ukyo's spine. "I'm Mina! Well, technically my stage name is different, but you can call me Mina. You're the cute one with the... wait, are you still a girl?"

Ukyo looked down at her chest. "Yeah. I'm still a girl."

"Booo," Mina pouted, leaning in close. Her scent was like citrus and expensive shampoo. "I was hoping for a little variety."

"Get your face out of my space," Ukyo snapped, though her face heated up. No, she's not gay, she's not a lesbian, she just woke up with three extremely cute girls and Konatsu after having <i>so much sex</i> with them last night, that's all!

"Will you two shut up?" 

The third girl - the one with the black hair - opened her eyes. They were a piercing, intelligent violet. She didn't move, simply staring at the ceiling with a look of profound annoyance.

"Some of us actually value the concept of silence," she said, her voice cool and sharp. "And some of us would prefer it if the person currently occupying my leg would move it."

Ukyo quickly yanked her ankle back. "Sorry."

"I'm Rei," the girl said, finally sitting up. She moved with a disciplined grace that suggested martial arts training. She glanced around the room-a small, cluttered hotel suite-and then at the group. "I can't believe we actually went through with this. The 'Lesbian Experience' field trip. My intuition told me this would end in a headache."

"Oh, come on, Rei! It was fun!" Serena exclaimed, throwing her arms around the black-haired girl. "We made so many friends! And look at them! They're so cute!"

"And the sex was pretty great too~" Mina chirped. Ukyo couldn't even argue. The sex was really, really good. But she's not gay! Honest she isn't!

Serena lunged forward, hugging Ukyo and Konatsu simultaneously. The impact sent them all tumbling back into the pillows.

"Gah! Get off!" Ukyo struggled, her limbs tangling with Serena's.

"Mm... so soft..." Serena mumbled, nuzzling into Ukyo's neck.

"Stop it!" 

Konatsu finally woke up. She didn't panic. She didn't scream. She simply opened her eyes and looked at the three girls surrounding her with a look of pure, innocent curiosity.

"Good morning," Konatsu said softly. "Are we all sharing a bed? Is this a traditional custom of the city?"

Ukyo stopped struggling for a second, looking at Konatsu. "No, it ain't a custom, Konatsu! We just... we ended up here!"

Mina giggled, propping her chin on her hand as she watched them. "You two are just adorable. Like a little pair of kittens. So, tell me, which one of you is the dominant one? I bet it's the one with the attitude."

"I ain't 'dominant' or 'submissive' or whatever the hell you're talkin' about!" Ukyo yelled, finally shoving Serena off her. "I'm a chef! I'm a martial artist! I'm a victim of a very specific Chinese curse!"

Rei raised an eyebrow. "A curse? How dramatic. You sound like one of those gothic novels Serena reads under her covers."

"It's not a novel!" Ukyo protested. "I turn into a guy! Sometimes! Depending on the water temperature!"

The room went silent. Serena blinked. Mina tilted her head. Rei stared. Then, Serena burst out laughing. "That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! You're like a magical girl, but backwards!"

"I am not a magical girl!" 

"Actually," Mina mused, her eyes narrowing as she looked at Ukyo. "It would be a great gimmick. 'The Gender-Bending Chef.' We could market you! I know a few people in the industry. We could get you a contract, a wardrobe change-"

"I don't want a contract!" Ukyo screamed.

"Now, now," Rei said, sliding out of bed. She stood up, stretching her arms over her head. She was wearing a simple, oversized t-shirt that barely reached her mid-thigh. "Let's not start the morning with a shouting match. We have a problem. A very immediate, very hungry problem."

As if on cue, Serena's stomach let out a roar so loud it sounded like a landslide.

"I'm starving!" Serena wailed, flopping back onto the bed. "I can't move! My stomach is eating itself! Someone get me pancakes! Or cake! Or a giant bowl of ramen!"

Urgh... What on Earth had Ukyo managed to get herself into, now...?