People tend to assume Nabiki Tendo is subtle. That’s not really correct. Subtle implies hidden intent, like there’s something beneath the surface that you have to work to detect. Nabiki doesn’t do that. She just operates in a way that makes people second-guess whether they’re allowed to interpret what they’re seeing correctly.
Ranma would’ve called it a trap if he’d been here. Not because anything was hidden as such, but more because everything was too cleanly arranged to be accidental.
Nabiki was sitting under a cherry blossom tree with the kind of posture that suggested she had paid attention to how people looked when they thought they were being casual. Tiger-striped bikini, gogo boots, horns... Okay, the horns were new, and that actually mattered more than the outfit. Not because they were scary, but because nobody just "adds horns" all willy nilly.
Next to her was Ryoko Mendo, matching her energy almost too well. It was eerie, really, how well these two get along. It's like chocolate and peanut butter, except instead of two great tastes that get along, it's more like two torture implements cooperating each other.
Nabiki ran a finger along one horn like she was testing a business idea instead of her own body.
“You know, Ryoko, I’ve been thinking. There’s probably a gap in the market for Oni-themed luxury accessories.”
Ryoko nodded along and sipped at some tea while contemplating that business plan. As a Mendo, she usually heard an average of five start up plans a day.
“Luxury is fine. But I prefer results you can feel immediately. Plans that actually do something.”
That sounded like a normal response until you realized neither of them was treating the conversation like roleplay. If anything, the two of them were flirting with each other. Was it genuine, or were they simply playing to the perception of the two of them together? If you wrapped them up in Wonder Woman's lasso of truth, you still wouldn't get a clean answer out of them.
Nabiki laughed a little. “Fair. But influence scales better. Information, leverage, money flow. It’s less immediate, but more stable.”
At this point, most people would assume this is just two girls being weird together. That would be incorrect in a very specific way: it assumes randomness. There wasn’t anything random about the way they were talking or sitting or even how close they were standing. Everything was positioned with due care to provide a particular image, a particular effect. For each other? For the world around them? Who could tell?
Either way, Ryoko leaned slightly closer.
“You talk about systems,” she said, “but your tone suggests you enjoy watching people fail inside them.”
Nabiki didn’t deny it. Instead she just said, “Most systems are already failing. You just learn how to guide the collapse.”
A sound came from the path. Approaching footsteps. They were heavy, regular, and carried about them an air of pretentiousness that was practically begging for mockery.
Tatewaki Kuno appeared, as if summoned by the exact kind of narrative logic that rewards his existence with humiliation. Blame the attitude if you must blame anything. The universe condemns those that are truly full of themselves to this degree without warrant.
He stopped a short distance away from the two girls, took one look at them...And his brain immediately failed to reconcile input with expectations.
“What is this sorcery!” he shouted, which was his default error message when reality didn’t match his internal schema.
Nabiki sighed in a way that suggested she had seen this exact process many times before and found it quite tiresome. Ryoko tilted her head.
“I think something is trying to communicate,” she said.
“I don’t hear anything,” Nabiki replied. The two girls shrugged and continued their not-so-subtle flirtatious body language with one another. "More tea, Ryoko?"
Kuno pointed at them with a big, dramatic, shaking finger. “What are the two of you wearing in public?!”
Nabiki looked down at herself, then back up. "A pair of denim shorts and a tanktop. Is something wrong with that, Kuno-baby?"
Obviously, that is very much not what Nabiki was wearing. She had such clothes in her wardrobe, of course, but she was wearing something quite a bit showier right now which was very obviously not that. Kuno stared at her in disbelief, then at Ryoko in turn.
Ryoko added, almost gently, “Maybe you’re tired. It happens when your mind fills in details that aren’t there.”
At that point Kuno’s system basically locked. Because now he had three competing explanations:
1. He is correct
2. Reality is incorrect
3. Everyone else is coordinating against him
It was about this point that he noticed the horns. Forgive him for being distracted, both girls are very cute, and the tiger print bikini favoured by Oni doesn't leave much to the imagination.
His voice rose. “Those are horns!”
Nabiki blinked at him in well practised confusion.
“I think you need rest,” she said. "Perhaps if you bought some pictures of my sister...?"
Actually, she'd brought pictures of herself and Ryoko playing with a hose, while clad in their tiger print bikini attire. Still well worth the money, but she was going to absolutely gaslight the shit out of him that it was pictures of Akane training in her gi.
Ryoko leaned in slightly, whispering to him as if trying to preserve his ego for the sake of preventing humiliation. When actually, she was aiming to raise it.
“If you admit you’re mistaken,” she said, “this might feel better for you.”
"You there!" Kuno yelled at a random passerby. "What are these girls wearing?"
"... Tanktop, jean shorts, and the other's in a kimono," the passerby said, then continued on his way. "Perfectly normal girls right there, with no horns or anything on their head at all."
"What was that about horns?" Kuno interrupted.
"Hrm? Horns?" the passerby continued walking. "What's that about horns?"
Kuno twitched, looked around at the two girls, and then hurried away, more confused than usual. Leaving behind, in his wake, two giggling girls who were, perhaps, the epitome of evil.
"My, my, I think we rattled him," Nabiki said. "Bribing everyone in a mile radius to tell him we're dressed normally was quite... inspired."
"A mere drop in the bucket," Ryoko mused. "The money will find its way back to our coffers before long anyway."
Nabiki mulled it over. "I wonder which of them is worse, your brother or that boy."
"Hard to say," Ryoko said, sipping at her tea. "Either way, shall we retire to my abode and spend the rest of the evening resolving the extremely obvious sexual tension between us?"
"You mean, do I wanna get laid with the richest person I've ever met?" Nabiki asked. "Who I happen to have a strong emotional connection with? Fuck yeah I do."
At which point, the two of them leaned in to kiss - but just at that moment, a carriage appeared around them, almost as if by magic, blocking them off from view. Oh dear. It seems as though they want to keep things a secret even from us beyond the Fourth Wall. Were they being genuine, or were they teasing? Impossible to say!
And that's just the way they want it.
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