There were days when Onsen-mark woke up with a chill down his spine. By now he was sure it was a premonition: Today is gonna be a hell of a day. The little turds he had as his main class this year were rambunctious to a ridiculous degree. All truth told, it was Moroboshi's fault more than anything. That excitable little punk drew so much trouble he could hardly believe it!
Well, maybe he was thinking that because Moroboshi especially rankled him. Stepping back a bit, there were others who were real troublemakers in there too. Lum, with her weird aliens nonsense. Mendo with his rich guy pride, always picking a fight with Moroboshi. Hell, even Shinobu could be a right terror when someone set her off!
Throw in a weird tendency for magical nonsense and advanced tech to find their way into that class's hands, and you had a real recipe for disaster. Today, it felt like it was gonna be another one of those days. The teacher's mind played over all of the possibilities one after the other. Maybe Fujinami had discovered a magic lamp that had a genie inside of it. Not the sort that magically grants wishes, but the sort that serves as an indomitable personal servant. Maybe Moroboshi had awakened an ancient Egyptian Mummy and somehow made her fall in love with him. Maybe Lum had brought a device that made comic books come to life. Maybe -
He gripped the door took a deep breath and swung it open. The sight of them all sitting in their seats, on time and behaving themselves, almost made him fall flat on his face.
"Nice to see you all so well behaved," Onsen-mark said, eying them suspiciously as he took up his place behind the desk at the front of the room. "You're not up to anything, are you?"
The class stared blankly at him. Except for Moroboshi, who - on closer inspection - was wearing half cut through table tennis balls with a drawing of eyes on them. Onsen-mark slipped on over and bopped him on the back of the head, making them fall out to the floor.
"What gave it away?" Moroboshi asked.
"You weren't blinking! Stupid!" Onsen-mark replied. Hrmph! Unfortunately, that seemed to be the trigger that set off everything else. As if he had pulled a pin from a grenade, the entire class seemed to set off on their usual typical nonsense.
Mendo jumped in with his sword, which was neatly caught by his usual target. "Moroboshi! How dare you make a mockery of this educational establishment by pretending to be awake using such a moronic means!"
"Leave Darling alone!" Zap! Down went Onsen-mark, a victim of friendly fire.
"Lum, be careful!" Miyake yelled, standing up and immediately slipping on one of the half balls. This sent her careening back right into Fujinami, who caught her in a position rather akin to a dipping pose. "Th-thanks, Ryuunosuke!"
"Hey, ya gotta be careful," the crossdressing girl said, helping Shinobu to her feet. "Coulda hurt yourself like that."
"Oooh! Those two are getting chummy again!" mumbled one of girls in class, Onsen-mark couldn't quite see from his position lying and twitching on the floor.
"... You guys know that Ryu is a chick, right?" one of the boys asked.
"Girls! Please!" Moroboshi yelled, springing into action. "You shouldn't show love to each other when I have plenty to go around!"
"Darling!"
Another zap and, well, you kind of get the idea. Onsen-mark moaned and groaned from his position on the ground. This couldn't last. Something had to give, and by god it wouldn't be him!
<hr>
It was about an hour later, and Onsen-mark was staring down the class with fire in his eyes and determination in his hefty gut. "This can't go on," he said. "If you behave like this in the real world, it'll cost you your jobs and your livelihood. As your teacher, it is my responsibility to correct this behaviour for your own good."
And his own.
A hand raised. "Who is going to hire Ataru anyway?"
Some giggles fell out about the classroom, but Onsen-mark wouldn't have any of it. He could already see the boy himself twisting in his seat to see who had made that comment. "Sit down!" the teacher yelled. "Honestly, you're like a powder keg! One spark is all it takes! How the hell is anyone supposed to do anything with any of you?!"
To his absolute lack of surprise, the number two troublemaker in the classroom lifted his hand into the air. Shutaro Mendo. The heir to one of the wealthiest families in all of Japan. A boy with so much influence that it was a wonder he attended this crummy school to begin with. Or rather, it was a wonder until you realised there was another particular student who might have offered a compelling reason for him to attend...
"Pardon me for interrupting," he said. "However... I had intended to offer this book to Miss Lum as a gift. It might provide us with some inspiration?"
Huh? What's this now? The rich brat snapped his fingers, and one of his apparently omnipresent servants showed up with a book wrapped up in fancy looking silk that probably cost more than Onsen-mark's entire salary. Over a decade.
"Hey, hey! Let me see that -" the teacher began, but found himself suddenly surrounded by very large looking men in suits who were wearing thick sunglasses indoors.
"This is a gift for Miss Lum," they said in unison. "None others may sully it with their hands."
Which must be why - out of the corner of his eye - Onsen-mark could already see Ataru flicking through it. "Feh... Feng shui?" he shrugged, then tossed the book over his shoulder. "Buncha nonsense. No way that works!"
Alas, Lum was able to easily pluck it out of the air. Handy thing being able to fly like that. "Ooh! Is this an Earth tradition?" Lum smiled. "Let me see, Darling... Ultimate Feng Shui? Ah! I'd like to try this out!"
"After school!" Onsen-mark protested. The men in suits stepped closer to him.
"Miss Lum wants to try it out now," they said. Guh! Mendo never usually exerted his influence like this in school! Look at him over there, trying to slice into Moroboshi again! Why don't you sic your minions on that boy instead?!
"Alright! Fine!" he gave up, throwing up his hands. "Lum can try out that stupid book if she wants, just so long as she doesn't disrupt class too much. Okay? Happy with that?"
The men in suits vanished, but there was a lingering sense that they were still around. Oh boy! That chill down his spine was even worse than before! He really, really needed a holiday. Stat!
<hr>
Lum's second favourite thing about Earth was learning about their weird traditions and culture. As a girl who was not raised within this culture everything felt so new, so interesting and so unique that she simply had to try it all! It was so exciting, so interesting and unique. Never a dull moment.
Which in a way led her to her favourite thing about Earth. The boy sitting next to her. Ataru Moroboshi. He was so kind and gentle, yet also energetic and funny. She felt a genuine contentment just sitting here with him nearby that she'd never felt otherwise. If only he'd stop hitting on every pretty face he saw. Or leering at them, the way he was leering at that one girl who had dropped her pencil and was leaning over to pick it up - Ooh that boy!
Hmph! Lum turned her attention to this book that Mendo got her. Now, she had no illusions: Mendo obviously liked her. No kidding. It was obvious. Blatant. Trick was, she didn't like him all that much. He was basically all of Ataru's bad traits but none of his good. Arrogant, cocky, not nearly half as interesting and he suppressed his energetic nature. Still... She would accept this gift graciously, whatever Feng Shui was. If only to be polite -
Harmonise individuals with spiritual energy? Lum tilted her head. Wow! She didn't think humans were advanced enough to be able to do that! And from the looks of it this could be done by simply rearranging furniture and making small adjustments to the environment. By doing so you could alter the flow within a person's soul, providing them with different kinds of essential energies. Confidence, empathy, courage, vitality.
And lust.
Lum read that over carefully. Lust? You could manipulate lustful energies with this book? A wry grin fell upon her pretty face, lower the lighting a touch and she'd look positively demonic. Oooh, she could think of a few uses for that. All of a sudden Mendo's silly little gift had a whole other light to it. Why, she could hardly wait to try this out.
- Meanwhile at the front of the classroom, Onsen-mark's spine felt like it had been replaced with an icicle.
- Lum sets about redirecting all of Ataru's lustful feelings towards herself. Hope she's got lots of stamina!
- Lum tries to dispel his lustful feelings, but accidentally spreads it around.
- Lum decides to test it out on someone else first.
- Something else
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