Within the Buddhist philosophy, the root of all suffering is desire. Because of desire, men are cruel to other men. For other men are often obstacles to what one wants. Hence cruelty. Hence envy. Hence greed. Hence evil. Hence suffering.
For this reason Cherry saw it as his mission in life to interfere with want wherever he found it. If he found a family drooling over a delicious meal, then he would eat it himself to spare their souls. If he saw a group of people making wishes upon a magical well, then he would exorcise it to spare them from that accursed want. If a young couple were starting to act upon their base desires, then Cherry would use his wonderfully unattractive face to cockblock and kill any libdo! Kill it stone dead!
And right now, at this very moment Cherry was feeling a surge of desperate, soul crushing want coming from the Moroboshi residence. As a Buddhist monk this was something he could not abide! The root of evil must be cut off at the source, lest it bring forth an abundance of suffering the likes of which could ruin the very world itself!
"Though I must admit to curiosity," Cherry whispered to himself while hurrying towards the building. "What sort of want could possibly result in such a dark and ominous aura?"
<hr>
Ataru had missed Shinobu. Oh, how he had missed his wonderful girlfriend! He cackled to himself in joy, it had been a very difficult and trying few months and he was backed up something fierce.
"No need to get experimental today," Shinobu had said, dumping her clothes without ceremony. She leaned down, opened his fly with her teeth, and then began giving him - not her best head, but <i>damn</i> if she wasn't eager about it. After a little while she pulled back and began to rub her cheek up against Ataru's hard shaft. "Ohhh! You missed me little Ataru? I missed you too! We have so much catching up to dooooo!"
Heh. Experimental, huh? Yeah, they had been getting pretty freaky until her sudden prudification. He'd kind of thought it was some sort of weird roleplay she was trying out, but then it stuck and he had what must surely be the most severe case of blue balls in history. As it stood now, though? His girlfriend was back! The gleam in her eye was back! She was getting onto her knees and lowering herself down. Ataru grabbed her hips to keep her steady. Ah! At last, the two of them could finally resume their happy perverted life!
The familiar feeling of her tight, damp pussy surrounded him, and Ataru knew bliss. "Ahhhh!" he sighed. Then frowned and looked nervously around the room.
"Something wrong?" Shinobu said, pushing herself in and kissing her boyfriend on the neck. “Never seen you stop like that once you get going…”
"No, not wrong exactly?" Ataru said. "It sort of felt like... I was thinking we would get interrupted right as we started. You know, for comic effect?" Ever since the Oni and in particular Lum arrived it felt like his life had become some goofy comedy manga to exist for the universe’s amusement.
Shinobu shrugged, then humped her hips forward. You know what, he could worry about that later. Shinobu was right. She and his dick had to get reacquainted. It was only right, as the two of them were so very close.
<hr>
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. They were about to talk to the head of an entire alien planet. Who happened to be the parents of their supposed future daughter-in-law if she had anything to say about it. Deep breath. Deep breath. Sure, the man was big enough to crush them by accident. Sure, his mouth was big enough that he could probably eat them whole without a struggle. Deep breath. Deep breath. This could spell the Earth's doom, letting those two loose on an advanced alien culture. Deep breath. On the other hand, it could spell Earth's doom if they stayed! Or at the very least the doom of the Moroboshi and Miyake families!
You know what, to hell with the Earth! If it came down to them enduring this or the Earth being blown up, they might as well take the rest of the bastards down with them! Mrs Moroboshi grabbed hold of the communicator, pressed the button and waited.
"S-So how do we want to go about this?" her husband nervously asked. "How do we sell him on this idea?"
"Let me do all the talking dear," she answered. "I mean, you can say things like 'hello Mr Invader' and 'nice weather the galaxy is having lately', but let me do the selling. Okay?"
"B-But my job <i>is</i> selling things, dear!"
She gave him the look that all wives have given their husbands at some time or another. It didn't have a name exactly, but if it did then it would be 'Do not die on this hill'.
<i>"Hello? Izzat the in-laws?</i>
Gulp! "Hello Mister Invader!" Mister Moroboshi said, reflexively moving to tip his hat. Which he wasn't wearing. "Nice weather the galaxy is having lately!"
<i>"Eh... Well I don't know about nice. I suppose if you like cosmic rainfall, then it's alright..."</i>
The Look intensified. If this were a manga, you would see the word 'menacing' floating in the air around Mrs Moroboshi's head, aimed squarely at her husband.
<b>"Oh god! When did you learn that! Do that again! Yes!"</b>
<i>"Huh? Someone say something?"</i>
"No, no!" Mrs Moroboshi interrupted. "That wasn't anyone here!"
"Th-that must have been the television," her husband added. "Please ignore that."
<b>”FUCK! Deeper! I know you can go fucking deeper!”</b>
<i>"Huh...? Watching porn at this hour? Must be where that boy gets it from..."</i>
At this point Mrs Moroboshi saved herself further embarrassment by slapping duct tape over her husband's mouth. This should shut him up for a while. It usually took him a good ten minutes to remember that you could easily remove duct tape from across the mouth by eating it. Their son also got his intelligence from his father, you see.
"The reason we were calling, Mister Invader, is that we thought it would be... nice, if Ataru could spend a little time getting to know his in-laws better."
So far, so good. Mr. Invader’s expression seemed to perk up a bit at hearing that!
"In fact, he really seems keen on the idea," she continued. "He and his childhood friend would really like to see what an alien world looks like. It could be quite the experience for them both, don't you think?"
<i>"Hrm... Yeah!"</i> Mr Invader stroked his chin thoughtfully. <i>"That might be a nice way to get to know the boy better... maybe straighten out his behaviour so he's a better husband..."</i>
"Of course, it's only right that the boy is accompanied by his parents."
Which was the point that Ataru's parents both nearly jumped out of their skins. Anyone would with Cherry's face suddenly filling the majority of your vision! He was even more scary than Mister Invader, which was no mean feat!
<i>"Woah! What species is that?! I've never seen something that ugly!"</i>
"How rude," Cherry the annoying monk sniffed. "I happen to think that Mrs Moroboshi is -"
"Finish that sentence and die!"
" - A rather beautiful woman," Cherry finished anyway. Her eye twitched, and the metaphorical, manga-esque 'menacing' aura grew even more intense. She went to roll up her sleeves, swung a fist and only hit her husband while Cherry patted himself down and looked in the mirror. "Your prediction was wrong. I am still alive."
<i>"Well, in any event! I think this is a wonderful idea. You, your son, his friend and my baby girl all coming back to Onigarashu for a nice little holiday! Sounds great to me! Hahaha!"</i>
Th-Them? The two of them as well?! The entire point was to get Ataru and Shinobu away from <b>normal</b> human beings for a while. Meanwhile the adults would stay on Earth to plan for damage control! "Ah, no! We'd love to, but - But..."
Her husband suddenly remembered he could eat his way out of the duct tape and had it off his mouth right away. "We have prior commitments! Unfortunately, it won't be possible for us to come along!"
Oof! Redeemed himself!
<i>"Hrm? What's this? Prior commitments?"</i> Mister Invader said. <i>"Sounds to me like you're trying to get rid of your son... Oh! I get it! I see what's happening here!"</i>
Gulp!
<i>"You two horny birds want a little alone time, right! Hahaha! With my Lum underfoot too, it must be impossible for you to have a little 'alone time'."</i>
Never before in her life had Mrs Moroboshi been so thoroughly mortified, and she doubted she ever would again.
<b>"Oh gods! If you're there, please don't let me go another day without this dick!"</b>
Nope... Nope, that pushed the level of embarrassment to still new heights.
<i>"Still, can't just take the three of ya. Space travel rules. None of them are... Uh... Let me work this out...Twenty Earth years old, so they can't travel in a mixed-sex group like that unsupervised. Gonna have to send an adult along too."</i>
"Evil begone!" a voice cried out, from a new figure busting in through the back door. It was a woman, who immediately fell over, coughing and sputtering up a storm. "I... Sense great evil being done in this house! It must be cleansed!"
In the Buddhist faith, it's said that all suffering comes from desire. At this moment in time, both Mr and Mrs Moroboshi desired only one thing: A sacrificial lamb.
"Hello Sakura, there's no need to fear!" Cherry said to their sacrificial lamb. "I have already vanquished the evil contained within this ham sandwich."
- Mr. Invader doesn’t take half measures, right away Ataru and Shinobu are abducted along with Lum!
- First: Ataru and Shinobu meet up with Lum.
- Ataru and Shinobu meet up with their chaperone. They like what they see.
- Something else
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