Story: UY Side Effects

 

Ataru Moroboshi is an ordinary boy. For a given value of ordinary. He's no genius, he's not an athlete either, he's not particularly talented in anything special. Unless you count bad luck as a talent, and unfortunately some people do consider luck to be a talent. It's not. It's not something you can work on, it's not something you can in any way reasonably control. Certainly not in his case - but then again, some might say that Ataru Moroboshi brings these things on himself.

Last night, he almost died because he got exactly what he always wanted. A harem of happy, horny, obedient girls who would do anything he asked - and wanted to show him that by having sex with him.

Now, there is one thing that he is actually pretty good at, despite the above. He's a determined little booger. It's one of his more endearing traits, if you want to call it that. Put him around pretty girls and he'll be rather too determined about them for his own darned good.

As such, he was now getting to experience the raw end of the monkey's paw. Really now, this is what he'd be getting if he wished upon one for real. It's one of the reasons that you shouldn't really want a harem, actually. A one on one relationship is a lot of time and energy as it is. One on many? There's a reason that the actual harem was more to do with the name of the building that the wives lived in than the wives themselves. Even a mighty Sultan didn't want to have to deal with them all the time. Best to deal with them one at a time, let them sort through their own internal politics far, far away from him and from the public eye.

But right now, Ataru Moroboshi couldn't move a muscle. He didn't have the strength in him. There was a straw in his mouth that led to a big jug of water, which also had various vitamins and minerals stirred in to help him recover. Despite that, he had the absolute biggest smile on his face that you ever did see on anyone.

"So you're saying you think we've been brainwashed?" Shinobu asked. "Hypnotised into thinking that Darling is some kind of sex god?"

"That is what I am saying, yes," Ryoko said. "I... Apologise for the - Urgh... Pardon me. A Mendo does not apologise easily. It does not come to us naturally."

Actually that's more just her. And her parents. Shutaro was able to at least feign an apology if it meant getting what he wanted, or at least, apologising on other people's behalf. Ryoko couldn't even do that.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Ran said, waving her hands around. "But I'm pretty sure that I liked that a whole lot, what we did last night. You're trying to tell me it was all in my head?"

"Nah, couldn't be!" Ryuunosuke grunted, biting her nails, while sitting in a very unladylike position. "Hold on, we gotta make sure - I'll fuck him again first when he wakes up, just to check!"

"No, Ryu-chan you can't do that," Lum wagged her finger at her. "I'll do it, he's my Darling."

"I had him first..." Shinobu grumbled. The alien and the human girl looked towards one another, sparks flying between them, as they set about to resolve this situation the only way they could.

By making out until one or the other was fully dominant. This involved the two of them jockeying for position, trying to pin the other's shoulders to the ground for a count of three, only breaking lip contact for a second at a time to allow for catching air. 

The rest of the girls in the room watched with no small amount of envy. They were all really quite horny, and they were also wishing they had thought of competing for Darling's dick first. But that would have to be put aside for now.

"I think we can safely say that our judgement is compromised," Ryoko said. "As is that of my closest friends."

She shot a death glare at them, and they wilted appropriately.

"All the same, I have to enquire," she said. "If anyone were to try to liberate us from this brainwashing...?"

A battle aura flared up from all within the room. If anyone were foolish enough to find out, they'd soon meet their maker.

"I really, really like sex," Ryuunosuke grunted, pounding her fist into open palm. "And I really, really like thinking this guy's a god of sex."

They all did. Which was kind of the problem. You see the bind they're in right now. They know for a fact that they are brainwashed, but because they are so thoroughly brainwashed, none of them wants to leave that condition and would likely inflict violence upon those that dared make the attempt.

It didn't help, exactly, that sex feels pretty great generally speaking. Especially when you want it. The lot of them lacked context for what actually good sex felt like as well, which meant that their brains telling them 'he's a god of sex' gets to run facefirst into 'and there's some evidence to back it up' without considering for the fact that there's no control for the variables.

Thus the brainwashing reinforces itself, and there's really no escape possible for them anymore. Ryoko was rather certain she would spot it if someone attempted to break the brainwashing, and if she noticed it then she'd almost certainly act to punish those responsible. If she couldn't, for whatever reason, there were actual, literal aliens involved here that would be able to take care of it instead.

"So be it!" Ryoko announced. "The whole lot of us are now Ataru Moroboshi's harem. Obviously, we're going to need to recruit more girls, so I shall need to teach you all how to brainwash others so we may move properly. Make sure to use this on those around you as well, so we can ensure minimal interruptions."

That seemed like the most sensible move to make under these conditions. All in the room agreed - This was by far the best and most sensible way to keep things under control. As if they'd been under anyone's control to start with.

"Alright, so let's start with this," Ryoko said, gesturing to the potpourri that had been responsible for the night's events. "We will need to acquire more of this for the lot of you. I will make a batch order, and then teach you all how to make the best use of it. The ingredients are quite simple - yes, Miss Ran?"

"Pardon me~" Ran said with her hand raised. "It might be just because I finally got my end away, but li'l Ran noticed something funny~"

"What's that?" Ryoko replied.

"Well~" Ran steepled her fingers cutely, and blushed. "It seems to me that Darling... Our wonderful, god of sex Darling... Has -"

She slammed her hand down right where Darling had been laying a moment ago, but now there was only a futon. In an instant, her expression shifted and changed to a rather more demonic one.

"Flown the coop and left us all completely blue balled!!!!!"

You could tell she was pissed off because of the extra exclamation marks. Ryoko could only sigh wearily. Oh dear.

======

Running running running! At last, he'd regained his strength! Phew! Those girls were insatiable! He couldn't hope to keep up! He felt like a greedy man drowning under a rainfall of golden coins! It was the kind of death he'd always hoped for, and yet -

And yet it was too much! He needed time to breathe, time to eat, time to recover! Thus he was running as far away, as fast as he could, in desperate pursuit of - 

"Name? Phone number? Address?" he asked three girls in quick succession. They reacted the way that girls often did, by slamming him against the ground, into a telephone pole, or using their handbag to uppercut him. "Phew, okay, so not all girls are falling for my charms..."

"Your charms...?" A familiar voice asked. His heart alit. Ah! He knew that voice! He knew it well! 

"Sakura-cha~an!" Ataru bawled, leaping out towards her, and for his trouble got an ofuda to the head. He collapsed to the ground twitching mercilessly, while she stood over him, staring down in disdain. She moved to walk away, but he grabbed her ankle instead. "Sakura, you've got to help me! It's the girls, you've got to save me!"

"It's your fault if you upset them, you letch!" Sakura warned.

"No, no, a strange influence came over them all!" Ataru begged and pleaded. Sakura paid a little more attention to this, but it was clear she was hesitant to get any further involved. Especially when his next words were - "They all just wanna have constant sex!"

"Right, this is clearly a delusion, or else something sinister is going on around here," Sakura said. "Did you do something weird to make them want to do this?"

"No, not me!" Ataru begged and pleaded. "Although, before I ran, I think I heard them talk about being hypnotised?"

"Darling~" Lum chirped, and Ataru went completely rigid. "There you are! I'm sorry Miss Sakura! I think he ate something funny last night, he was tossing and turning all last night, I think it gave him a funny dream."

"Is that so...?" Sakura replied. She lifted Ataru up by a single hand, and tossed him over to Lum, who managed to catch him. "All yours then. Keep him on a leash from now on."

"Wait, no, don't - " Ataru began, only to get himself a little electroshock, as Lum giggled and carried him off, back to his harem, where he was starting to wonder if his heart would give out first, or his dick.

Behold the curling of the monkey's paw. Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.