Monday, 11 August 2025

Story: UY Destiny Temps

This might be difficult to believe when considering the writings of this author, but the fact remains: Ataru Moroboshi was not supposed to have a harem. He wasn't meant to be single, either. He was meant to - destined to - marry either Lum or Shinobu. With Lum, he would have an adorable precocious daughter that would grow up to be as gorgeous as her mother, but also liked to tease boys. With Shinobu, he would have a bratty son who was a bit too much like him for comfort.

Either way, he would have a measure of happiness. He would mature, grow up, settle down, get a job.

In the edge cases where he did get a harem? He was meant to be miserable - because he'd lose out on Lum. She'd slip through his fingers because his grip was too tight, like trying to hold on to a pile of sand. The tighter he would squeeze, the more grains slipped away.

The idea that he could have a harem, and Lum, and happiness? No. That was a bridge too far. He had twisted and warped reality beyond all conception, and reality <i>did not care for it</i>.

Thus, reality itself was coming apart at the seams. Trying, oh how it was trying to course correct, but things kept on going wrong. All the futures where he failed to get a harem? They did not exist anymore. Therefore, there was nothing to reach to in order to fix reality.

This, needless to say, is bad. Very bad. People tend to live in reality. Some do live in a fairytale land or inside their own heads, but their bodies at least are in reality. So is their stuff! Destiny had its own incarnation within reality to try to sort out this mess, but it had perhaps come too little, too late. Which meant reality would have to patch the holes in some way, for example - 

At one moment, Ataru was sitting in the Mendo manor, enjoying a topless lapdance from Lum. Some with a cheeky disposition might say that the word 'enjoying' was redundant in that particular sentence, but consider who we're talking about here. A boy who would sooner chew off his arm than admit he liked this girl or found her attractive. Openly enjoying having her boobs shoved in his face, and then - 

Fitz! Reality skipped. He was no longer in the Mendo manor, but there was still a girl in his lap, dancing away for the life of her. Still an alien Princess, but not from remotely the same series. No, no. This one did not have the iridescent hair that Lum did, nor did she have horns on her head. But she did have pink hair! And a tail! 

"The harem plan is a total success!" chirped Lala Deviluke.  "Even Kotegawa has agreed to -"

Bzt! Reality skipped again before Ataru could process it. Like the last, this one also had pink hair. The room had a much creepier vibe about it, with skull fittings on the furniture, cobwebs placed up in the room that looked way too artificial - but if you inspected them closely you would discover that they were real and had been deliberately placed there.

And sitting in his lap was another pink haired beauty, while on either side of them were two very pretty girls with different shades of blue to their hair.

"Soon all the hot yokai at the school will be your harem girls too~" said Moka Akashiya.

Bzt! Reality kept on skipping, just like that. Trying to patch in the holes where it could by reaching across the multiverse. Which most assuredly would not have any negative effects, right? Where did he wind up this time anyway?

Oh, he has the Sailor Scouts and a youma bellydancing for him. Great, that's just wonderful. Let's maybe duck out of here for the time being before things get really weird and - 

Bzt! Now he has the Occult Research Club in bellydancing gear, how quaint. Let's just go already...

=====

Destiny was not happy. Nope. This was supposed to be simple. It was meant to be straightforward. Her opponent here was Ataru 'dumbass' Moroboshi, how hard should it be? Recruit a few allies here and there, get some people on her side, and -

Bzt!

"Will you cut that out when I'm trying to work here?!" Destiny yelled, shaking her fist at the sky, knowing full well that it was pointless. It wasn't like reality wanted to make those hops across the multiverse trying to patch things up. It's sort of like how you don't wanna run a fever, but it's the most reliable way to kill off an infection.

Guh! And who did she have as allies so far? Well, let's take stock shall we? Shutaro Mendo, stripped of his wealth! Mister Fujinami, living troll and eternal troublemaker for his son, who he insisted was actually his daughter! Oh, and for good measure? A loser sorcerer who managed to loss his fiance to Ataru 'Dumbass' Moroboshi - and honestly, he was kind of enough of a loser that Sakura might be trading up a bit here.

Then, on top of that? Multiverse bullshit to deal with! That always makes things way more complicated! Guh! Oh, and by the way? Destiny fucking loathes the multiverse.

Think about it. Really think about why destiny would hate the multiverse idea, right? Destiny, fate, whatever you want to call it, that's all about a path set in stone. It's all about, you know, this thing happens and that causes these other things to happen. The multiverse? The fucking multiverse?!

Destiny is a tyrant of linearity. It thrives on inevitability, on the poetry of cause and effect, on the sanctity of one true story. But the multiverse? The multiverse is chaos in a tailored suit. It’s the idea that every decision splinters reality, that every “what if” is not just a hypothetical but a fully realized world. To Destiny, that’s heresy.

You want more details on why Destiny loathes the multiverse? Well, glad you asked! 

- It undermines authority: Destiny is supposed to be the final word. But in a multiverse, she’s just one voice in a cacophony of conflicting outcomes. Her grand design becomes just one draft among infinite rewrites.

- It erodes consequence: If every choice spawns a new reality, then no choice is truly final. Sacrifice loses its sting. Triumph loses its weight. Destiny thrives on stakes, on the idea that this moment matters because it cannot be undone. The multiverse laughs in her face and flips her off.

- It breeds defiance: In a single-threaded reality, rebellion is tragic, fated to fail or to cost dearly. But in a multiverse, rebellion is just another fork in the road. Characters can cheat fate, dodge consequences, rewrite endings. Destiny becomes negotiable.

- It fractures identity: Destiny loves archetypes. The Hero. The Betrayer. The Martyr. But the multiverse turns these roles into masks worn by countless versions of the same soul. Who is the true one? Destiny demands singularity. The multiverse offers multiplicity.

So when some fucking asshole like Ataru Moroboshi decides to break everything to get his end away with as many hotties as possible? Yeah, Destiny is not happy about that. Not. Happy.

"I sense bizarre energies within this street..." Tsubame said. "Something is clearly amiss..."

"Yeah, yeah!" Destiny grumbled. "Because we're not in fucking Tomobiki anymore. Welcome to Tomobiki-Juuban-Kuoh-Sainan-Yokai and probably a whole lot of other places soon, because buddy, shit is about to get reaaaal fucking complicated around here!

 


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