Ambivalence is a funny word, you know that? Due to how it's been used, it's one of those words that has effectively become its own opposite. These are called contronyms, by the way. Yes, there is a word for that. Anyway, most people tend to think of ambivalence as being sort of... emotionally neutral. No real emotions about the thing to speak of.
That's really not what it is. At all.
If you're ambivalent about something, you can simultaneously want it and not want it, love it and resent it, approve of it while disapproving of it, etc. The tension between those reactions is the whole point.
It's particularly funny because ambivalence has drifted in casual usage toward something like:
"I don't really care either way."
Which is almost the opposite of: "I care in two mutually incompatible ways at the same time."
Anyway, the point was that right now Asuka was feeling pretty damned ambivalent about the fact that Shinji was fucking her <i>stupid</i> right now. Giving her dick like he was doing it for his country. Laying pipe like, if he didn't, the world would actually end. In a normal sex scene one might say that he was a machine, or perhaps a wild beast. Rutting her with passionate yet precision. In his own sense, a contradiction in his own right. For just as Asuka was feeling really, really, absurdly good right now, she was also kinda sorta regretting just a bit that she was surrendering her body to him like this.
It was so beneath her dignity laying back and letting him sling her legs over his shoulders... his surprisingly broad, manly shoulders, and rut her with his big thick girthy penis dick cock schlong sausage penis penis penis penis~
The whole experience felt like it was eroding the things that make Asuka, Asuka. She was no longer the brilliant, beautiful girl whose pride could outshine the sun, whose natural talent was beyond what even she could imagine. No, right now she was a rutting beast being used by a boy that she usually thought of as beneath her, but now -
He was above her and he was doing all sorts of ungodly things to her insides. Her womb was getting busy in particular, as it knew well what it wanted. His seed filling her up.
"How is it, Asuka?" Shinji asked, and that was when the trouble started. Really, she ought to stay quiet. She ought to just... grit her teeth and ride it out. Or rather, let him ride her out. But she couldn't do that. Couldn't do that, couldn't do that, couldn't do -
"If you think this is going to break me, you have another thing coming!" Asuka replied, entering her tsundere nature without realising it. Nor realising what she was doing. While wearing the Ring of Truth! She'd say something like this, when she was operating entirely on instinct, instead of intelligence?
"Huh?" Shinji grunted in genuine confusion. "But you really seem to be into it, your hips are -"
"My hips are moving on their own~" she said, though her voice was an octave higher than normal. And then, of course, her hips actually started to move on their own. Independently of Asuka's will. Even if she was capable of thinking about something other than the dick that was, at this very moment, activating neurons in her brain that had never been activated before, her hips would still be going 'gobble gobble' and doing all they could to swallow that cock, and gobble it down.
Though that would imply that Asuka's body had absolutely anything to say about what Shinji was doing to her, even before Autonomous Pelvic Kinesis Syndrome had taken root within her body.
Alas, that wasn't the end of it. Asuka was clawing at her own face so she could confront the pleasure. It wasn't going to break her, but... You'd be amazed at what you can live through without breaking.
"You can fuck me harder than tha-" Asuka said, and didn't even finish the sentence before going cross-eyed. "M-Mein Gott... I'm going to cum so hard!"
She was already going to, of course, but now? Now she came so hard that she actually shot right off of Shinji's cock, fluid gushing everywhere while her body trembled and her hips started to try to sort of shimmy down because they were not done with that cock yet, and Asuka couldn't think, couldn't move, every muscle in her body felt like it was seizing up.
And the stupid part was that he was still erect. Because she's gone and said something stupid and tsundere like 'you can fuck me harder'. Which meant that he still could absolutely piledrive her so hard she'd see through dimensions.
That ambivalence was hitting her once again. Tsunderes are especially weak to it. That emotion is practically a natural predator of the tsundere psyche. 'I like him. I hate that I like him. I'm angry that he makes me like him. I'm angry that I'm angry about liking him. Why is he looking at me? Why isn't he looking at me?!'
That's the thought process, or perhaps more accurately the emotional process. They become emotionally constipated. Even though Shinji had just been giving it to her good and hard...
Asuka' brain was starting to work again. Stupid ring warping reality around herself. Her pride was injured now. Which was another big problem for someone like Shinji. He was looking down at her - that's <b>down</b> at <b>her</b> with that big throbbing veiny...
Guh!
"Ready for another round?" he asked. "My balls feel pretty tight, so... I really wanna finish up."
Guh yet again! Her pride as a woman was being challenged! Normally, the guy finished and the girl didn't, but this time because of this stupid ring, she -
"I'm on top," Asuka said, and the next thing she knew, their positions were reversed. "You're ready, Ikari, right?" she asked, and his dick slapped against her thigh. Yeah, that didn't need the ring to establish. "Hrmph! Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna lay back, and you're gonna let me tame that dick of yours, Ikari! We're not leaving this bed until I've broken this dick in."
Ah, that was a bad thing to say, as she realised when she got on board Mount Ikari for a second ride, this time cowgirl style. Her hips moved down against her volition and it was inside her while she was still speaking, which may be why her brain shut off for a bit there. Can't really blame the girl, can you?
All Shinji did was lay there, but in all honesty that's all he had to do. Given the way reality had been bent and twisted up already, he didn't need to move an inch to make her feel full and fucked. He'd let her tame that dick of his... but the problem was, his dick had already kind of tamed her pussy, and her hips were absolutely not cooperating with her. Not one bit, not one iota!
Thrust! Thrust! Thrust, thrust, thrust! Shinji Ikari was a Sex God due to the work of the ring, thus her eyes had once again crossed and her tongue was hanging out, and if her hips weren't working on automatic, she'd be under him again rather than the other way around.
There they were again - the contradictions spiking up! The eternal contradiction that is the beating heart of a tsundere!
But the thing was? The thing was, the thing was, the thing was that Asuka couldn't stop, stop, stop until she'd tamed that dick, tamed that dick, tamed that, tamed that, tamed that dick, which meant that as greedy as her hips were getting she couldn't stop anyway. Gobble gobble gobble gobble!
"Guhhhhhhh~" she burbled, beyond incoherent and beyond wordless. "Even though you'd instantly make any other girl your bitch with a dick like this, I'm holding out, holding out, holding out out out out out out out~"
And so, she was. Despite being about to cum, she suddenly wasn't. No, no, no, no, no, this was the worst, the worst, the worst! Even if she was going to ride this cock until doomsday, so long as she had a release valve and could cum cum cum cum cum please let her cum please let her cum! That would keep her sane, at least!
But being driven to this point was like Tantalus, standing in his lake under an apple tree that was just barely too tall to reach, and when he reached down to satiate his thirst, the water recedes just out of reach.
"Hrm? You want me to come outside of you?" Shinji asked, while his hands stayed steady, firm, yet tender at her hips.
Asuka fully wrapped her arms around her head, like she was trying her best to smother herself. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, don't say anything stupid, don't say anything stupid, don't say anything -
Alas, Asuka should have known herself too well. She's the sort of person who, upon being told not to do something, immediately goes 'alright, let me show you what I can do' and then fucking tries it anyway just because she can! That even applies to herself, and so, her brain took that instruction as a challenge, and through the tiny gap in her arms she said:
... And this is where we pick our options~
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