Story: Shinobu That I Know

 

You know, it is a really good question: How the hell did Lum get her friends to engage in a threesome with Ataru so quickly? Shinobu might make it look easy, but actually getting girls into bed with Ataru was a precision job that required understanding his foibles, redirecting them into strengths, which is a skill she has refined carefully after knowing him for such a long time.

Was Lum simply a natural at it, then? Was she able to effortlessly redirect Ataru's personality into allowing him to seduce not one but two of her hot friends at once?

Have you seen the original series at all? Lum couldn't direct Ataru to eat his breakfast in the morning. Hell, let's make the problem even more obvious. Find a screenshot of Lum. Remember that Ataru Moroboshi is an enormous pervert. Lum could not persuade him to kiss her. You think she could guide him along the tightrope walk that would involve seducing both Benten and Oyuki?

Look, those are two very different and difficult tasks in their own measure. It's sort of like using one hand to push and the other to pull - you're not going to get very far, and your body will complain at you very, very hard.

"Oy, Lum!" Benten sneered as she sat down, adopting her typical rough posture. She really did have the face of an angel and the mind of a delinquent, didn't she? "So that girl's this guy's servant, huh? What, they don't got robots on this planet?"

"Not yet," Oyuki gently said, sitting demurely next to Benten. "We believe that within a few decades they will have something comparable to a robotic servant, but for now the robots that they do have are rather primitive."

Alright, and now we get to the fun part. Ataru was about to say something, but Lum put her finger to his lips. Because the game she was playing? It wasn't Ataru. No, she was playing the man rather than the ball. Or rather - she was playing the women rather than the man!

"So, do you guys wanna do a real fun trick?" Lum asked. Both Benten and Oyuki's ears pricked up after they heard that. "Shinobu there is kind of a prude, and she often comments about what I'm wearing."

"Blegh, humans are kinda lame like that," Benten sneered. "What's wrong with showing a little skin!"

"I know, I know!" Lum said. "But here's what I was thinking. How about, when she comes back up with our drinks, she catches one of you making out with Ataru!"

Hrm? Hrm?! Benten grinned from ear to ear, almost busting a gut from laughing at the very idea of it. "You're kidding, right?" she snorted. "You want us locking lips with your man to make that maid freak out! I mean, that's hilarious, but -"

"But you do have a bit of a jealous streak about you," Oyuki observed. "Are you sure that you will be able to restrain yourself if we did do something like that?"

"All I'm hearing are excuses~" Lum chirped. "I bet you couldn't handle Darling anyway, he's a really intense kisser~"

"... I know that you're playing me," Benten smirked. "But alright, let's see what he's got."

Phase one, complete inside of a minute. Shinobu would be back up in four. All it took was Ataru leaning in, pressing his lips against Benten's. Some tongue slipped in, and not thirty seconds later, her eyes were crossed and Ataru was pulling away. The result? Benten was letting loose a series of girlish giggles.

"Benten, are you alright?" Oyuki asked, while Benten adopted the most girlish and feminine body language Oyuki had ever seen from her. A smile that reached her eyes, twirling a stray lock of hair around her finger, biting her lip and staring at Ataru with rapt fascination. "Alright. Now I'm curious to find out for myself."

"All too eager to show you~" Ataru said. For a moment there, his mask let slip, and then his lips pressed to Oyuki's, and she fucking melted on the spot.

"You see, this is something I think Shinobu hasn't worked out yet," Lum giggled. "If a girl lets him touch her, it feels incredible. If I'd tried holding you down or forcing you into it, then it wouldn't feel good at all."

"Woah..." Benten moaned, turning her head to watch as Oyuki practically tore her kimono off, dumping it on the floor with reckless abandon. "I had no idea it could feel like that."

"Go on, it's fine," Lum whispered. "It'll feel so good when it's all four of us~"

=====

As Shinobu listened to this explanation, she stared at the hot threesome with no small amount of frustration, arousal and envy. Right. Of course. She'd known that much already. He was always really good at making girls feel good, but only if they were okay with him touching them in that way. It's why she had to manoeuvre things the way she did. Get Sakura okay with a massage, et al.

Still, she didn't think it was this potent. A kiss? That's all it took?

"They're really hard up due to their personalities," Lum whispered. "Benten's way too aggressive -"

"Come on, fuck me harder! I can take it!"

"While Oyuki can be a bit frosty," Lum finished.

"Ahhhh bliss~"

Right, okay, she could kinda see that. Still, this whole situation was so... Unreal! It felt far too damned easy! There had to be a catch here. There had to be a -

An alarm buzzed on the wall. The front door had been opened. Which could only mean that Ataru's parents had come home early! Oh hell! The room was soundproofed, so they wouldn't hear -

"Fuuuuuck yes!" Benten screamed. Oh dear, that might be a problem.

"Darling, we need to hurry up, your parents are -" Lum began, but stopped when an icy hand grabbed her jaw.

"If you stop this, until we're done, I will freeze you from the neck down for a whole year," Oyuki warned, and do you know what, it sounded like she fucking meant it.

Right. Well then. That creates a bit of a fucking problem here, doesn't it? Shinobu twitched. A perfectly normal problem for a perfectly normal girl to have to deal with! Making sure that her boyfriend's parents didn't come up here and find their son absolutely ruining a Lucky God and a yukki-onna for other men.

There were multiple problems here. The first: The door. If they opened that door for even a moment, the sound of Benten trying to scream the house down from her very, very loud and repeated orgasms would absolutely be heard. Probably could be heard in freaking Furinkan district, that girl had some lungs on her! They couldn't get them to stop, because much pain was threatened if they tried to stop this rutting.

They couldn't sit here and wait it out, because there was a good chance they would come upstairs to check on what they were doing, or at least tell Ataru they'd come home and why. Ah. Ah. Ah! What should they do, what should they -

"Um, Shinobu?" Lum said. She grabbed Shinobu's hand and pulled her into the closet. Oh. Right. Space time corridor.

=====

Can we take a moment to appreciate just how awful Mister and Missus Moroboshi are as parents? Seriously, they might as well be in some kind of parenting cautionary tale anthology, right between “How Not to Supervise Your Child Around Open Flames” and “Why Bribing Them With Candy Backfires.”

Looking at Ataru alone is probably Exhibit A. I mean, the boy’s entire personality screams screaming void of parental guidance. Perpetual flirt, zero impulse control, allergic to responsibility - sure, some of that’s just classic teenage nonsense, but all of it? That’s a lifestyle. That’s environmental conditioning. That’s decades of hands-off (or worse, actively bad) parenting coming home to roost.

And here’s the kicker: we don’t even know which came first. Did Ataru turn into this because they were negligent, self-absorbed, and perpetually annoyed at having a son in the first place? Or did they become so awful because they were forced to live with Ataru being… Ataru? Chicken, meet egg. Egg, meet the open frying pan that is this family dynamic.

Regardless, in the here and now? They’re bad. Not the fun “wacky anime parent” bad - though they try for that vibe - but the kind where every interaction drips with passive-aggressive venom and the overwhelming desire to disown their own child if it weren’t for the effort involved. And the wild part? They don’t even hide it. They say it out loud. Multiple times. In front of company. They'll gladly tell their neighbours about how much their son happens to suck.

"Honestly now, to think it would be called off for such a silly reason," Mrs Moroboshi complained.

"Yes dear," Mr Moroboshi sighed wearily. He'd been hearing it since they'd left. "What do you suppose our son has been up to?"

Before they could continue that conversation, they heard a noise from the kitchen. They hurried in to check - and soon found a surprising sight. Shinobu, wearing a nice, chaste maid uniform (thank goodness), apparently trying to teach Lum how to cook.

Mrs. Moroboshi blinked twice, then once more for good measure. “...Why is she dressed like that?” she asked flatly.

“Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Moroboshi!” Shinobu straightened so fast her ponytail nearly whipped Lum in the face. “I didn’t expect you back so soon!”

“That’s not an answer,” Mrs. Moroboshi said, her tone implying she’d already mentally added this to the ever-growing list of Ataru-related disasters.

Lum, for her part, turned with the most radiant, innocent smile in the galaxy, holding up what looked vaguely like a frying pan - or maybe a war crime in progress. “Darling’s parents! Welcome home!” she chirped. The pan contained something that might once have been fish, if fish were made of neon orange sludge. “We’re making dinner together! Won’t you stay?”

The sludge in the pan popped. A spark of electricity arced across the room. Shinobu instinctively ducked.

Mrs. Moroboshi’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Ah. So this is how I die.”

“Don’t be dramatic, dear,” Mr. Moroboshi said, already inching toward the door like a man calculating insurance payouts in real time. “It’s probably edible. In some cultures.”

“Don’t worry, I’m following Shinobu-chan’s instructions perfectly!” Lum beamed, tossing a handful of… something… into the pan. Something that fizzed ominously and released a puff of smoke in an unnatural shade of green. “Except I added a little extra to make it more spicy!”

“It’s not supposed to glow, Lum-san,” Shinobu hissed under her breath, trying - and failing - to wrestle the ladle away from the alien’s iron grip. “And stop putting sugar in the miso soup! That’s not how sweetness works!”

Mrs. Moroboshi pinched the bridge of her nose, because of course her son’s chaos magnet of a girlfriend was attempting fusion cuisine from the Andromeda Galaxy. “Where,” she asked, her voice dangerously calm, “is my son?”

“Oh, Darling?” Lum tilted her head, as if the answer were obvious. “He’s upstairs, taking a nap! My first dish was so good it sent him to sleep right away!”.

Mrs. Moroboshi closed her eyes. In that moment, she silently weighed the pros and cons of simply leaving, moving to Hokkaido, and starting a new life under an assumed name.

The sludge in the pan hissed again. This time, it formed bubbles, and if you looked really closely you'd almost swear that some of them were blinking. Mr. Moroboshi tugged his wife’s sleeve. “...Maybe we should order takeout?”

"Ah, maybe..." Mrs Moroboshi sighed wearily. "Make sure to clean up the kitchen, wont you dear?"

"Of course~" Shinobu called back, and as they left, she wiped her forehead. Close! Way too fucking close for her liking!