Nabiki Tendo was pissed off. She knew her place in the world of pornographic Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. She knew it all too damn well. She'd either be the domme queen, or the broken bitch, and there was very rarely any light in between. For a moment there, she thought she had something for sure. Snogging the soul out of Ranma one minute and the next?
He'd fucked off without fucking her.
"Fine then," she'd said. She let out a long drawn out sigh. "If I'm gonna get cockblocked - then I'm cockblocking all of you as well."
Oh dear. It's our worst nightmares made manifest. Nabiki Tendo is peering through the fourth wall at all of us, and she's not in a good mood. That's... That's actually quite a terrifying idea, if you put any thought into it.
"I bet you all wanted to see some hot yuri action between my little sister and that hot piece of ass," Nabiki said, hand on her cocked hip while she wagged her index finger disapprovingly in our general direction. "Sorry, gonna have to delay you on that. You get me instead, and I'm going to keep your attention on me for as long as I can!"
Well, that's fine Nabiki, but have you considered for a moment what that might entail? After all, this is a porn thread. Cockblocking the audience is a risky venture, to say the least. After all, you have to be doing one of two things to maintain attention: Something plot relevant, or something sexy. Now, there's precious little that you could be doing that is more plot relevant than 'Ranma finally gives in and bangs the hell out of Akane'. There's plenty of sexy things you could be doing, but surely nothing hot enough to -
This was the point where Nabiki slammed her foot upon a stool, rolled up her skirt leaving her left leg exposed from the thigh down, and then began to rub cream on it. Smoothing her hands up and down her leg, leaving a small layer of pale gel soaking into her leg.
"I know full well you think my legs are my hottest feature," Nabiki said. Damn her. She really does know how to go for a person's weak points, doesn't she? "My yams are amazing, I'll give you that much. Oooh, feel that thigh~"
Squeeze, squeeze. Gentlemen, it is my duty to inform you that we might be here for a while.
"But you know, you're right!" Nabiki sighed while making sure she was really, really rubbing that cream in there. "I can only do this for so long before it gets repetitive." Rub, rub, squeeze, squeeze. "You see? You're more engaged in simple repetition of what I'm doing, rather than going into any detail about how hot and sexy it is to watch a girl rub down her ridiculously sexy legs!"
Sorry, too distracted by sexy legs to put much effort into - what's it called? - Oh yeah! Description. Anyway, did you have a point?
Nabiki smirked, and then let her skirt drop. For a moment, it seemed like she might do her other leg, but - No, instead she wandered around the school rooftop for a little longer, and - Oh yeah, that's where we were right now. The school rooftop.
"Plot, plot, plot~" Nabiki chirped. "Plot, plot, plot. What is the story for this thread again? Oh yes. We're all extremely self aware to the point of distraction. Which eventually got people to stop voting for it on your blog, because they grew weary of the joke. Right?"
... Yeah, that's a pretty good summary of what happened. Maybe cut back on the fourth wall humour if you're going to be like that?
"Nah, I have a better idea," Nabiki said. "See, here's the other thing you've not thought of yet." Impressive statement, considering that I'm writing you. "You didn't think of it until you started to write this line of text, stupid! Anyway, if Ranma bangs the three of us, where's this heading?"
Well, the next thing to normally happen would be Kodachi showing up, falling for Ranma, and then -
"Bzt! There you go, right there!" Nabiki said. "Stations of canon. Choo choo, all aboard those well beaten tracks! How far in do you think you'll get this time? Mousse? Ukyo? Maybe you'll reach Principal Kuno?"
Ew, no thanks, he's only ever fun if we want to make characters suffer comedically. Imagining his O face is kind of a big curse.
"Come on, show a little imagination!" Nabiki shook her head. "Shake things up a bit. Why are you such a slave to canon? There's nothing saying you can't have things happen out of order, right? I mean, for pity's sake, how often does Konatsu get his dick wet? Even I'm starting to feel bad for him. Or how about Ryu Kumon? Or maybe you could set me up with Kinnosuke instead of Kuno? I mean, hello? This is a porn parody and you're just gonna wind up with, what? The principal girls all hooked on hot Ranma ass? No wonder the story died a death!"
... You're right. Golly gosh, you're right! That is the way things are heading! Right at this moment Ranma's most likely eating out Akane like she's lemon chicken. Gosh I could go for some lemon chicken right about -
"Focus!" Nabiki snapped her fingers. "Plot, right? Where are you gonna go with it? Don't fatesplit it and leave it until later - actually sit your ass down and think about it for a second, okay?"
Right. Right! Alright then, let's think here, shall we? Ranma's fallen into the Spring of Drowned Hot Piece of Ass, and the biggest conflict around is Ranma's own attempt to not have lots and lots of lesbian sex. A challenge which hooo boy, is she about to fail at hard. The other thing Ranma wants? Not to have to worry about getting laid by a guy, and -
"Excuse me?" said a cute busty girl that looked suspiciously like Ryoga Hibiki without a Y chromosome. "Do you know where I can find Ranma Saotome?"
"I mean, that's a start!" Nabiki said, gesturing to the lost boy... lost girl. "It's been far too long since that cutie pie showed up and - And... Hold on, I gotta go make out with that for a while, be right back."
And so Nabiki Tendo walked right up to Ryoga's cursed form, grabbed her boobs and then stuck her tongue all the way down that babe's throat. As it turns out, there's only so long you can string along the author before he decides 'fuck it, let's ball'.
Now, it would be very easy to cut away from Nabiki right here and get her some ass with Ryoga offscreen - but I don't think we're here for that right now, are we?
Alright, let's go then! Nabiki tried to drag Ryoga's cute busty bod down to the rooftop - only it didn't quite go the way she was wanting. See, Ryoga might be a cute little woobie like this, but she's still Ryoga 'I juggle giant boars with the tip of my umbrella' Hibiki.
What is more, do note what's happened here. Ryoga appeared, got spanked by Ranma, then fucked off and has now reappeared.
"Oh shit," Nabiki whimpered into Ryoga's mouth, right before Ryoga's cute girly hands slapped down upon Nabiki's butt, grabbed hold, and disappeared all of her clothing in the blink of an eye.
Do not fuck with the author, Nabiki Tendo. Your powers (that is, your ruthlessness and your yams) are great, but they're not reality warping great.
Note to self: Start a story later on where Nabiki's thighs dominate reality.
"Oh, I've been there!" Ryoga said. "Everyone was giving her money all the time, until she realised that if she had all the money nobody could give her any more and the economy crapped out."
Sounds familiar! Let's not dwell on it, and instead dwell on the fact that right now, Nabiki was flat on her back on this rooftop while Ryoga, despite being smaller, despite being cuter, was absolutely in control here.
"Byakusai Tenketsu!" Ryoga yelled, thrusting just one index finger in between Nabiki's legs.
"Fucking weeb, why not just say Breaking - Ohhhhh fuck me!"
Let's ignore the timing of that, shall we? After all, Nabiki should not have had the time to do anything but moan after Ryoga launched that variation of their signature move. Normally it had no effect at all on living beings, only rocks and minerals and shit.
So what happens when you use a technique called Breaking Point within the context of a porn parody? No points for guessing, but here's the answer! Nabiki came hard. No, no, I don't think you get it. Nabiki came really fucking hard. As in, ridiculously hard. As in, it's a wonder she had liquid left in her body after this. That girl is dehydrated as fuck, and the only muscle in her body able to move right now was her heart. And, well, those attached to her lungs and eyeballs - Fine, fine, it's the ones in her limbs that are kinda fucked up right now, happy there, mister/missus pedantic?
"That's one down," Ryoga smirked. "Two more - " She stopped to think for a moment. "Nah, make that three more to go. I'll add that hot piece of ass to my tally too - and then I'll ride that pussy in boy form until she forgets she ever was a boy!"
Well Nabiki, you wanted to progress the plot. Here it is, hope you like it!
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