Story: Haruhi Titnosis

 

This had the makings of one of those days. One moment, Homura was trying to figure out how to manipulate events to ensure Madoka didn't fucking die so they could be together forever and ever. The next, she was wearing a dark robe, surrounded by three other girls she didn't know, all of whom also had frankly absurd tits.

Tits. She frowned. The words sat on the tip of her tongue. How gross, how crass, to describe breasts as tits. And yet that is plainly what they were. The robes didn't do a single thing to hide their tits. Their huge, round tits were as plain as the nose on their - 

Ah! The realisation struck her rather unpleasantly. Looking down, she saw that she had them too. Tits. Her hand reached out tentatively for it and -

Hrnnnnnnnk~

She pulled her hand away as if she had touched a hot stove instead of her tits. Breathing heavily, she tried to contain herself. Centre herself. Control herself. Gulp! That was quite unsettling, to say the very least! Looking around, the other girls all seemed to have had a very similar experience to her, and they were just as unsettled as her.

As a precautionary measure, Homura stopped time, rose to her feet and wandered around the room to get a better look at everyone, and the room itself. The door wasn't locked. The outside seemed to lead out into a street in Japan. Not anywhere she recognised, but definitely modern day Japan. She ought to leave. Find Madoka, as soon as possible, and yet -

Instead, she turned on her heel and sat her butt back down pronto. There was a voice whispering in her ear that if she left, then she would never find out why she was brought here, and that made sense. It made perfect sense for her to stay. Have the meeting. Just like they should. Just like they... Just like their tits wanted...

Time resumed.

"Hrm?" said the girl immediately to her right. She took her hood down, revealing long silver hair and pale skin. Her eyes seemed to almost see right through Homura. "Your movements just now... That wasn't natural."

"Huh?" said the girl directly opposite, who flipped down her hood to reveal bright orange hair. She was the tallest girl here, though her face was as kind as it was confused. "Not natural...?"

"You saw it too?" said the girl to Homura's left, who took down her hood to reveal a girl with dark hair tied up in twintails. Though her eyes were studious, they felt different from the first girl. “It was different. Like she bypassed a moment entirely. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you manipulated time.”

"Then I take it none of you knows why we are here?" Homura asked. "Or why we're dressed like this, or why our tits are so -"

The girls all broke eye contact. Yes, their tits were rather... impressive. Even so, Homura caught herself stealing glances. Or reaching for her own chest. She actively had to stop herself from doing something really stupid. It was ridiculous. Absurd. Obscene! 

The silver haired girl rose to her feet. Immediately made a beeline for the door, and did just the same thing that Homura had. Looked outside. Made a strange noise while grabbing at her tits, then spun around and marched right back to her seat and sat back down with a big, huge frown on her face.

"What was that?" the twin tailed girl asked.

"I won't find out more if I leave," the silver haired girl said. "I was overwhelmed by that feeling. I know it is a false dichotomy. I know full well that I should continue the investigation from outside this room, under my own guidance and my own thinking, but -"

"But...?" the orange haired one asked, starting to sound a little worried.

"But my big slutty titties won't let me leave~" the silver haired one moaned, writhing in her seat while her hands rolled around her tits. Homura watched in shock and horror as this girl, who had quickly given off the impression of a serious intelligent type was instantly reduced to... To this. It happened so quickly that she couldn't even spot the moment the switch was flipped.

The orange haired one stood up quickly, seeming quite determined all of a sudden. She held out her hands, forming something like a circle with her hands, and called out "Rej-!" before stopping cold, and then her hands flew to her own chest, leaving her in the same state as the silver haired beauty. "Ohhh, my tits wouldn't let me~ I can't reject them, I don't want to reject them, ohhhhh, yes~!"

It took a lot to shock Homura, but this? It took the cake, the biscuits, the whole tea tray! Her mouth hung open as she tried to figure out what she was seeing and why...? Why it was turning her on so much?!

Meanwhile, twintails was sitting there looking at the table, eyes darting around while her hand rested at her chin. "I see, this is quite serious then," she muttered. "If I tried to do something, anything at all to fight it, I bet I'd wind up the same way. This effect is really potent, and almost instant." Her eyes flickered up to meet Homura. "I wasn't going to introduce myself, as a security measure, but it's rather obvious by now that who or whatever brought us here... they know all about us already. My name is Rin."

"Kyoko," the silver haired one said, not even seeming out of breath. "In case it's not clear, I agree with your reasoning. Giving information freely like this would normally be dangerous, but... I do not believe we're in anything like a conventional kind of danger."

"Orihime," the orange haired girl said. All eyes then fell on her. Homura didn't like this. It felt like a setup from the Incubators.

On the other hand, what choice did she have but to play along for now? If she didn't, they might suspect her of being involved in this... whatever it was!

"Homura," she said. "So, why are we here?"

"Normally, we would start by looking at what we have in common," Kyoko said. They all looked down. "However, it seems that I can only think about my tits. Or your tits. Or how needy and horny my tits -"

"Stop saying tits!" Rin burst out, bonking Kyoko on the top of her head. The twintailed girl was blushing like mad. "Ugh, this whole thing is so stupid! Let's try this. We're obviously under a compulsion of some sort, on top of everything else. So maybe if one of us concentrates and -"

"We should rule the world," Orihime interrupted, eyes closed. "Use our tits to brainwash those in positions of power, and recruit selected hot girls to help us rule from the shadows with the power of our hypnotic tits."

A silence fell over the room as everyone digested that.

Homura eventually broke it. "I think that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

The silence that followed sounded like universal agreement.

Rin broke this silence: "It's also really, really hot."

Again the silence that followed signalled universal agreement. Not that any of the girls seemed too happy about this... Although. Homura did have an odd thought. Madoka. Laying in her lap. Sucking on Homura's huge hypno titties... Eyes empty and mindless as she took in all of Homura's instructions, guidance on how to avoid that terrible fate, to survive this one time, and live with her forever...

Which led her to some rather twisted thoughts. These other girls are only going along with it so that they can try to figure out the limits. Work through the loopholes... And defy her that wonderful fate. Homura bit her lip. That wouldn't do. That wouldn't do at all!

"We have to think this through carefully," Kyoko began. "First of all, we need to experiment a bit -"

"I agree," Homura interrupted, and immediately grabbed her, pushing her tits right into Kyoko's. A warm, pleasant feeling shot through her body. Apparently, based on the expression that Kyoko was making, she was feeling it as well! That's right, she was going to drown this girl in pleasure, the pleasure of tits!

"Wh-what the hell are you - Are you... Oh, that's so hot..." Rin said, beginning outraged, but getting more and more turned on the more she watched. "N-No, we shouldn't, we mustn't, we - "

All of a sudden, another pair of breasts was coming in at them from the other side, and then another pair from opposite those. The four of them were crowded together, rubbing their tits into each other, moaning wantonly and helplessly as their tits took charge of their thinking processes.

"Mmm~" Orihime moaned. "How are we supposed to take over the world when we'll be spending half the time having sex?"

"Good question!" Kyoko replied. "Not to mention, all the paperwork involved."

"Oh gosh, you're such a dork!" Homura giggled. Paperwork? Who is thinking of paperwork at a time like this? "Oh, but there is one other thing we need to consider."

"Haruhi Suzumiya..." Rin moaned. "Yes. We must leave ourselves exposed to Haruhi Suzumiya."

"So that she can uncover us naturally," Kyoko quickly added. "We have to make sure it happens in a natural seeming way. We are not giving her the appearance of exposing our operations to her in particular, because that would feel cheap and lazy."

"It has to make sense to some sort of narrative," Orihime said. "That will ensure it works."

That's right. It made total sense internally. As they drowned in sensation, wallowed in delight, basked in the pleasure that only titnosis could grant, certain thoughts began to occur to them. Unnatural thoughts. Thoughts that they should not be able to have, because they didn't belong to them - But rather, to their tits.

Haruhi Suzumiya brought them here. Because she needs a villain. She needs a conspiracy to keep titnosis quiet, so that she could go up against it. Now, here she was, with a tremendously talented Detective, a gifted Magus, a magical girl who could stop time, and a pacifist with the ridiculously, absurdly powerful Rejection power.

It's quite the group when you put it like that. Throw titnosis into the mix, and it's easy to believe that this group could, quite easily, take over and rule the world - if they wanted to. Which they did not. Their tits sure did though! And for what reason?

That reason was simplicity itself: Because the true conspiracy was to get Haruhi herself to think only with her tits... Which would grant titnosis itself the power that she has. To warp reality at its whim! Data manipulation writ large! And put like that...? Who in the world could possibly stop it?

"Tiii~its!" came the familiar cry of four girls feeling their willpower slip away under the power of tits.