Mousse was lost. Now, he was feeling a very strong urge to yell at the top of his lungs 'where the hell am I now?' but that would likely breach copyright, or infringe upon the catchphrase of someone he knew and only really tolerated because he too hated Ranma Saotome.
There were two problems here. The first: His glasses were gone. The second: He was pretty sure Akane tagged his face with something magical. Probably an X, if he was to take a wild guess about it. Which meant he was, at present, stumbling through the Furinkan streets... Or maybe just the broader Nerima streets. Blegh!
Mousse staggered blindly, arms stretched forward, robes flapping behind him as he nearly collided with a mailbox.
"Stupid Ranma... Stupid Akane... Stupid blind fate!" he grumbled, nearly tripping over a small dog that yipped at him indignantly before scampering off.
His glasses - gone. His dignity, what was left of it, was vanishing faster than Ranma at a lion enclosure. And now he had the burning, buzzing sensation of a spell tugging at his very core. Something about it reminded him vaguely of magical compasses he'd read about. That... and a headache. A magical headache.
He turned a corner and nearly collided with -
"Oh! Pardon me!"
The voice was gentle, feminine and very polite. The woman he had nearly bowled over was tall and elegant, dressed in a tasteful kimono. Her long, dark hair was tied in a loose bun. He squinted at her, trying to make out her features. Almost managing it. Something did seem vaguely familiar about her, but... Mousse froze, instincts prickling. Something about this woman...
"Pardon me," he said, bowing deeply. "I must be on my way. I need to find Ranma Saotome before -"
The woman gasped softly, a hand rising to her lips. "You know Ranma? Where is he?"
"He's staying at the Tendo Dojo," Mousse mumbled before his brain caught up with his mouth. It was only polite to help someone that had asked him a question, after all. "He’s usually hiding there like the coward he is. Don’t know why anyone would want to find that idiot. Although, I just came from there and he's not there right now, he should be by eventually. Why did you want to know?"
"Oh, I have my reasons." She gave him a small, mysterious smile. "Thank you, young man." She walked past him with grace and purpose.
Mousse rubbed his temple. "Weird day..."
Whatever. He had other business to take care of. The best thing to do would be feeling his way along this wall until he reached somewhere he recognised, which might be difficult what with the general poor vision he had. Still, this felt like the right direction for some reason.
Then a shrill voice echoed down the street: "Hey! You there!"
Mousse turned - just in time to feel his life force being mysteriously drained away.
"For truancy, delinquency, and suspicious squinting, punishment is necessary!"
"Wha- " He slumped like a wet noodle, eyes spinning, as the much younger-seeming girl sucked up his life force like water through a straw.
"So much negative energy! You're lucky I’m here to keep society safe from drunken delinquents like you!"
She spun on her heels and walked off into the night. The last thing Mousse saw as he fell into darkness was a frankly amazing pair of legs, a pair to even rival Shampoo...
====
So, this was really super early, but a certain pair had finally - finally! - Managed to track down their tormentor, their bully, the bane of their existence! It had come through some unusual means! An anonymous contact from right here in Furinkan.
"What does anonymous mean again? If you please!" Link asked.
"Oh, it means we do not know who it is, if you please!" Pink replied.
"I see!" Link nodded. "Uh, they gave the name 'Happosai', though. Does that mean anything? If you please!"
Pink slowly turned to her twin sister and whapped her about the back of the head.
"We are here to steal away Ranma Saotome," Pink insisted. "If you please, would you focus on that, if you please?"
"I have a question!" Link said. "Why are we not saying 'over' at the end of our sentences, if you please?"
"Oh, our writer found out that was a mistranslation, a very common one, if you please!" Pink said. "So he's trying to overcorrect, if you please."
Link srhugged. It didn't really matter to her either way, she was simply curious. Anyway, here they were, traversing Furinkan. Where supposedly, Ranma Saotome lived. Their sole purpose here today: To exact revenge upon -
"Hey, is that not Mousse?" Pink gasped, rushing forward to him. "Oh no, who could have done this, if you please?"
Link sighed. Her twin sister had such a crush on that guy. A shame she had such an abrasive personality. Even so, she had to do whatever she could to help Pink out, so she joined her in studying the boy's body.
"He's marked across the face with an X," Pink said. "Oh no! To mark his handsome face! If you please!"
"... Also, he's had his energy drained, if you please?" Link asked.
Pink clutched her chest dramatically. “To mark such an innocent and handsome victim! This is clearly the work of that brute, Ranma Saotome, if you please!”
“But,” Link blinked, poking Mousse’s cheek like a marshmallow, “didn’t we come here to punish Ranma for our own romantic misfortunes, if you please?”
“And now look what he’s done to the romantic prospects of others!” Pink cried. “He is a menace to love itself, if you please!”
She knelt beside Mousse, pulling a small purple vial from her belt pouch. The label read: "Revival No. 5: May Cause Itchiness." She uncorked it and poured a single glowing drop on his forehead.
Mousse jolted awake like someone kicked by a goat.
"RANMA!!" he screeched, lurching upright. Then immediately collapsed again, head falling into Pink's lap.
“My darling!” Pink gasped, eyes sparkling. “Even in delirium, you cry out in agony! The poetry of it! If you please!”
Link twirled a length of chain thoughtfully. “Should I bind him so he doesn't faint again, if you please?”
Pink patted Mousse's forehead like a fevered child. “No, let him rest. He is safe now. He is ours.”
“…You mean ‘safe with us’, right?” Link asked. Pink didn't answer. She already had her own plans and schemes going.
======
As it turned out, the marks on their faces eventually came off with hot soapy water. Soun chuckled to himself, standing side by side with his dear friend Genma, at the sheer absurdity of it.
"My youngest is quite the firebrand, huh?" he asked. "As you saw, her understanding of martial arts theory is second to none."
"Indeed, old friend!" Genma laughed. "She's a tremendous match for my Ranma - I dare say that if the two of them get by their immature bent, and stop denying what they both so clearly want, they'll be extremely happy for the rest of their lives!"
Quite so, quite so! Soun chuckled again and shook his head at the folly of youth. Ah! Young love, it truly does make fools of us all. How fortunate that they were adults and could be reasonable about -
"Hello! Is anyone in here?"
Splash! Genma had gone right for the cold water. Turning himself into a panda. He held up a sign that read "For the love of God Soun help me get rid of her!"
Get rid of her...? Who on earth was this that had Genma so spooked? Oh no matter, Soun strolled across his house, off towards the front gate - where he found two very beautiful, very different women standing there. One of them had oddly familiar facial features. Auburn hair, tied up in a bun. A kimono around her body, and a strange looing wrap that she was carrying as though it were a holy object.
Contrast that with the more modern seeming woman right next to her. Soun wasn't looking for a relationship at the moment, but if he was then this might be where he started. A tall, leggy beauty wearing a yellow dress suit, replete with a pencil skirt and high heels. She was fiddling with a coin, and seemed quite confident.
"Pardon us," the woman in the kimono said. "We arrived at around the same time. I am Nodoka Saotome, Genma's wife."
"And I'm Hinako Ninomiya, come to give my thanks to the Master of Anything Goes for saving my life!" said the other woman. "But... I think I shall stay for... other reasons."
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