Story: Konosuba Darkness Approaches

 

Alas, Kazuma may already be too late. The worst case scenario that he'd concocted was already playing out at that very moment. For his fellow party members, Megumin and Aqua, the explosion maniac and the useless Goddess were already talking away with the Queen of Sadomasochism. And worse yet - they were bonding.

Now, a guy really should be kinda happy that a really hot girl was getting on with his kinda cute allies, even if their personalities were rotten in their own unique ways, because that's the kind of image that leads, quite naturally, to erotic thoughts. Especially for a perpetual horndog like Kazuma. But no! This was a worst case scenario!

"So, that Kazuma seems like quite the troublemaker~" Darkness sighed. "To think that I'd be rejected from joining this party. Are you sure there isn't anything I can do to... change your mind?"

"Sorry, but I somehow doubt it," Megumin said.

"I'm not sure how your personality would fit in," Aqua shrugged.

"Oh, but I'm really quite eager~" Darkness mewled like a cute little kitten. "I'll do anything to help out~?"

Now, Aqua might not be the brightest bulb out there, but she's also not a complete idiot. No really, she's not. Stop laughing, I'm being quite serious here. She might seem that way at times because she's spoiled, she's petty, she gets distracted really easily, but she's not flat out dumb. Nor is Megumin. Huh, funny that we don't have to specify that so much for her, that's pretty interesting...

Anyway, the point is, they could already see that Darkness was Trouble with a capital T. Kazuma had rejected her for being a pervert? That's like the Pope rejecting you for being too Catholic. Wait, he might reject you if your views of Catholicism were so fundamental that it went against modern Dogma... Something like that isn't really objective, is it? Um. It would be like if a bank turned you down because you had too much money. There we go. When does that ever happen? The bank goes 'you're too wealthy to be our client'. That's what this felt like. Since when did Kazuma, a total pervert in his own right, turn down someone for being a pervert?

When they go too far. It was hard to believe when looking at her. Pretty face, nice body, but something about her had set Kazuma off something fierce. Nonetheless, she was determined.

"You're the explosion maniac, aren't you?" Darkness said to Megumin, leaning over her left shoulder like a Devil whispering in her ear. "I'm very, very sturdy. You can cast explosions at me all day long - and I won't even feel it."

"Actually, her magic is too low so she'd only get you the once," Aqua quipped. "Then you'd have to drag her away yourself."

Aqua was too busy being amused by the mental image, and Megumin too distracted by the idea of a volunteer, for either of them to notice the lewd expression on Darkness' face just then. If they had, they would perhaps have realised exactly what it was that had put Kazuma off so thoroughly from letting her join their team.

Alas, they were oblivious to that expression, as by the time they were paying her direct attention again, Darkness was her 'normal' bright and cheery self.

"Aqua, you're the healer of the team, right?" Darkness said. "Is it true what they say? That healers get so <i>annoyed</i> by their team mates pulling too much damage at a time?"

Were you perhaps wondering how exactly it was that Darkness corrupted those whose role within the party was not to deal damage? How naive. Of course she knew well what buttons to press. Of course she had a full understanding of the most twisted, darkest parts of a person's soul to reach down into and twist into enjoying the torment of others (or themselves) so much that it became an erotic fixation. You doubted her? In truth? You really and honestly doubted her ability to do this? Though she had not realised yet that her most difficult challenge awaited her here. Not because Aqua is a healer. Nor because she is a Goddess.

"To be honest I don't really care about that all too much," Aqua shrugged. "It's their fault if they get hurt when I'm not able to heal them, right? They should be more careful."

But rather because Aqua is kind of a bitch.

Not the kind of bitch Darkness wanted her to be, either. But if you thought that refusal would turn her down...

Let's put it this way. If you're reading this, there's a good chance you know who Junko Enoshima is. Kinda hot, but really fucked up in the head. Got herself a sort of erotic fixation with despair, right? To the point you have to capitalise it, can't call it despair, gotta call it Despair.

Anyway, the issue with dealing with her (aside from her amazing intelligence, charisma and physical ability) is that to her mindset, even defeat is a viable victory condition for her. No, really. She's that messed up. You beat her, she starts mewling about Despair. Either she wins and causes you to feel it, or she loses and she still wins.

That's the kind of mindset Darkness is in. Either she gets people to hurt her, or she fails to get people to hurt her and feels abject humiliation from it. Which is a mindset that was about to run headlong into Aqua's total apathy for other sentient beings. If there's a body part left she can revive them, so what's the big deal, right?

"Hold on, hold on!" Darkness said, starting to breathe heavily. "So, if all that was left of me was my little finger, you would be capable of reviving me?"

"Yep, it's completely within my ability to do that," Aqua said. "I know, I know, you were already quite eager to join our party, and now you're absolutely desperate, but Kazuma said no, and while he is a pervy NEET, he does seem to generally know what he's doing when it comes to the adventuring aspect, so - "

"I'm telling him you praised him~" Megumin said, and shuddered as she felt a taste of... Delight, as Aqua squirmed. While Aqua might be a tricky one to set upon the path of deliberate sadism for the sake of erotic amusement, Megumin was - despite her superior intelligence - much more vulnerable. No, rather, that's the wrong way to think about it. Perhaps her intelligence made her even more susceptible to this form of corruption!

Paradoxically, that made Darkness a little less interested in Megumin - for the time being, at least. No, her perverted senses were now locked onto this blue haired hottie with a stupidly hot body. Ooh, those thighs, though~ 

An image was crawling through her mind right now, of Aqua wearing tight leather. Tying her hair back into a ponytail. A particularly high one. A sneer on her face as she stepped forward on high heels, slapping a paddle into the flat of her hand. The leather on her had to be skintight. Not hide any of her curves, not leave one iota to the imagination save the colour, or if there were any blemishes.

Spoiler alert, she was wearing a pretty showy outfit and Darkness hadn't seen any. Not a scratch, nor a scar, nor a mole, not even a hair on her legs. That skin was smoother than silk, and you could tell just by looking.

"Well, even if I can't join your party, we can still be friends, right?" Darkness asked. "How about this, I'll get you a round at the bar and we can chat a bit more about our history~"

This, at least, was a truly sensible move that struck right at Aqua's most vulnerable point. Her love of booze, and her typical inability to pay for it. The ultimate means to introduce her into sadomasochism. Alcohol. Rather famously, the solution to and cause of oh so many of life's problems.

=====

Where were they where were they where were they?! Kazuma dashed like a madman through the streets, desperate to find them before something terrible, something awful, something truly unspeakable happened! His imagination did not want to go there. His mind did not want to let it conjure up what might result from this - This travesty!

He reached the final destination that he could think to check, out of breath, leaning against the doorway. His eyes desperately scoured the tavern, with few in there taking any heed of him. Soon enough, he found one of the sights he'd been on the watch for - a pointed hat that was a little bit bent at the end, despite someone's attempt to fix it.

It was Megumin. Sitting at a table, all by herself, sipping on what looked like some sort of fruit drink through a straw. On the one hand? Adorable. On the other, he didn't like that she was alone in here.

"Oh, Kazuma, Kazuma!" Megumin said, seeming actually excited to see him for a change. He was so desperate and out of breath that he very nearly did not reply 'yes, yes, I am Kazuma'. "I thought of a magic trick! Wanna see?"

"Not right now - " Kazuma said, and then, for no apparent reason Megumin kicked him in the shin. "Yow! What was that for?"

"Hrm..." Megumin tilted her head, while he grabbed at his shin and fell into a seat. "Hehehe! So, what's got you so out of breath all of a sudden? Change your mind about tall, busty and blonde?"

"Not a chance!" Kazuma winced. Wait. Had she kicked him purely for the amusement of it...? "You've not been talking with her have you?"

Before he could react, she'd taken her straw and poked him in the face with it. Had she been aiming for an eye?!

"So what if I have?" Megumin asked. "Bah! She's great, I don't know why you turned her down. I thought she was a pervert, but she was making a lot of sense, you know?"

Making a lot of sense...? Oh no! Oh very no! He gulped nervously.

"Wh-Where is Aqua?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"Oh, she got completely hammered so Darkness took her somewhere to rest," Megumin said. She was frowning at him. Staring at the straw without any trace of satisfaction, but as if she had been expecting some. "Hey, Kazuma? Can I walk on your back for a bit? Also, I don't get it, but I really wanna sit in your lap as well for some reason. As in, you know, I really, really, really want to, and if you say no I'll bite you."

Dread seized his heart like never before. It was too late. Far, far too late! Darkness already had her hooks in them. He had to find Aqua - and hope against hope that she wasn't turned into a horny perverted sadist as well! Or he might not live to see tomorrow!